Lincoln steps out of his new Continental and straightens his tie. He has an image to maintain now above that of a mere Courtroom virtuoso. An image of a giant of a man riding into town on a black Stallion, looking resplendent in red Serge enters his mind for a moment, before being discarded to the dustbin of history. Whilst certainly a statement piece, red serge just wouldn't do anything for him. Made to Measure Saville Row was the way to go. Mickey patted his pocket, preparing to light a Morley^TM, but remembered his decision to try and cut down, instead he checked his hair in the wing mirror, pulled out some flyers and started to walk through the crowds handing one out to anyone he recognised.

"Excuse me, I wonder if you wouldn't be so kind as to take one of my flyers? Thank you Kindly"

Starting Friday March 18th, The Void Bastards will be relaunching my Great Grandfather's Numbers Game, with a few tweaks.

'What is a numbers game?' I hear you ask. Well a Numbers game is a traditional form of Mafia business and gambling where people wager money on the outcome of a basic 3 digit number, like 777 or 666 or 123.

Ah, so this is another Lottery then? No, definitely not. A Numbers game is much simpler than a Lottery, and the odds of winning are substantially higher than those of a Lottery. Also, Lotteries have fixed ticket prices and fixed prizes based on a percentage of ticket sales. Numbers isn't like that. You pick any number between 000 and 999, and you decide how much you wish to wager, between $1 and $25,000. We offer simple odds of 200-1. So if you bet $5 on 123, and 123 is the winning number, you win $1000. Easy!

I'm not sure about this, it sounds too easy, and far to easy for you to rig. Those are fair points. However, as SatoruGojo always says, "Simplicity is the way to go..." why do you think he Authed CLO? As for easily rigged, well we have a fool proof system that guarantees this game can't be rigged! Its based on the Dow Jones.

At the close of trading, the Dow Jones publishes four figures. The closing Price, the Opening price, the High price, and the low price.

It looks something like this:

10944.72 +193.45 (1.80%) 5 Oct 16:02 ET
Open: 10752.78
High: 10965.61
Low: 10711.12

We will take the last digit of the Close, High and Low prices, and that is the winning number. So 5th October's winning number would have been 212. Simples. This way anyone who plays can verify the winning number, and you just don't have our word that we didn't cheat.

Sounds good, so how do I play? I thought you might ask that. Well that too is simple. The winning numbers will be based on the number published by the Dow Jones every Friday, the first Friday being the 18th March. You have until 12pm (MRT) Thursday to buy your number. To Buy your Number simply send a message to me, J. Michael Haller, with the number you wish to play, and the amount you wish to bet up to a maximum of $25,000. Then have your accountant transfer the funds to me directly. I will then mark you wager in the log books of the Numbers Bank here in Chicago. Winners will be paid by return transfer the Saturday after the numbers are published.

It really couldn't be any easier. So what are you waiting for?

The first draw is Friday the 18th, could you be first to win $5 million?

Woop takes a cursory read of the flyer. He grimaces. He is a degenerate fucking gambler who once bet his second born son on a crooked horse race but even Woop is aware enough that to take 200/1 about a 1000/1 chance is a poor bet indeed. He drops the flier on the floor and continues on with his day...

Hours pass & Woops gambling urge is strong. If 800/1 were on offer Woop would be a player.

Wheeler takes a flyer and gives it the once over. Good odds? Maybe. Maybe not. But he wouldn’t miss twenty five grand and he’d certainly notice five million. He would buy a ticket. He would probably buy a ticket every day if the game was ran every day. Instead, he would settle for weekly. But what number did he want? Now that was the question. The same number every week? Sure. No point guessing weekly.

“I’ll take the number 277 for the next four weeks please Mr Haller!”

He says, passing the godfather a $100000 cheque.

Well Woop, well done, its nice to see you can count. Yes the odds are stacked in my favour, you'll find that most bookmakers do this. Now yes, on the face of it, the odds are heavily stacked in my favour, but no more so than most Lotteries. For instance a Lottery currently available in a country in Europe has odds of 45 million to one, and pays out on average 1.8 million to one, that's a ratio of 25:1 against my 5:1.

Traditionally The numbers game pays out 600-1 against a $1 bet. However there are hundreds of thousands of players, and some Policy dealers sold millions of numbers. I on the other hand will accept bets of up to $25k, against an active membership of around 400. Therefore should someone pick a winning number I would have to sell 200 numbers just to break even. What's the likelihood that I will have a 50% up take? Is it not more likely that I will perhaps get 5 or 10 players per week? The odds of 200-1 have been carefully selected to still give you guys a sizable prize if you win, whilst keeping my exposure at an acceptable level. I have deep pockets, but they are not bottomless.

However, I'll tell you what, as a special offer just for you, I will offer you the traditional odds on a traditional wager. Pick a number, send me $1, and if you win I'll send you $600. Can't say further than that.

Sunset, yes, if I sell 900 tickets I will make a 'decent amount of coin' as my late friend Tyrion would say, as I have already pointed out there are barely half that many members stalking our streets. I would count myself extraordinarily fortunate if even 40 were to buy a ticket.

Wheeler, thank you for having faith in my endeavour. As you rightly said, $25k is small potato's, or rather it should be for anyone even approaching their button. I don't expect to get fabulously wealthy off the back of this, but I hope some of you have a little fun and maybe take me to the cleaners along the way.

Woop wonders to himself how Lincoln_Lawyer managed to read his thoughts from a small grimace. His skills clearly go above & beyond the law.

"A more cynical man would suggest you are being disingenous when talking about the european lottery. The odds of winning the jackpot are indeed circa 45 million to 1 suggesting poor value. Hence the lottery officially being a tax on the stupid, BUT the actual odds of winning a cash paypout are circa 9/1 as a player would get paid out on any combination of matching 2 & up...With your numbers racket its hit a 1000/1 bet to win 200/1"

Woop scratches his head & continues

"I 100% agree on the limited player pool and you not having bottomless pockets, but I would suggest with an increase in the odds you would see an increase in player numbers...A more cynical man would suggest the actual value proposition to this numbers racket is in the VIP Tokens the discussion generates rather than any financial income via the players..."

Woop fishes a dollar from his pocket & hands it to Lincoln_Lawyer. He was a degenrate gambler to the core of his being.

"Ill take 346 please"

Well Woop I shall meet you half way. The reason for comparing Jackpot for Jackpot was that to win something akin to $5,000,000 on the European Lottery you have to win the Jackpot. Never the less, I can see an iota of what you are saying. So, If you Match the first digit in the order stated, I will pay you 4 times your stake. If you match the first and second digits in the order stated, I will pay you 30 times your stake, or if you match the 3, it will stand at 200 times your stake. Again whilst you may argue the odds offered vs the chance of correctly picking the number (1 in 10 and 1 in 100) I am at least offering the chance to walk away with a prize even if you aren't successful in picking all 3 digits. As for being cynical, I am actually at the point were Cityhall credits are not a driving force, I would much rather be out in the streets, seeing who I can see, making sure that I recognise all the fine mafioso actively pursuing a life of crime. This would be the main reason why I am active in the streets.

Constipated is holding an envelope containing over 63k. He thinks long and hard about gambling 25khe got off of a recent job. What the hell he thinks to himself. He wires the money to Lincoln_Lawyer

Put me in for 25k on number 508

Put me down for:

069

169

269

369

469

569

669

769

869

969

690

please let me know the total cost and I’ll send. Also, in case I’m getting the concept wrong just use the cash to pick a number similar to what you would select, Lincoln_Lawyer.

So, the moment very few of you have been waiting for. It is past 4pm EST and the Dow Jones has officially stopped trading for the week. So without further ado, the final figures for Friday 18th March are as follows:

Open    34,466.72
Close    34,754.93
High    34,755.20
Low    34,279.83

So today's Lottery Number is 3...0...3

That's 303

As per the revised rules, this means we have Prizes to issue. Bacon, with 369 matches the first number and has won a prize of $100,000

Woop with 346 has also matched the first number and we have a prize of $4 to issue. Gentlemen, I shall dispatch a runner with you money presently.

And remember folks, the Next draw will be Friday 25th March. Sunset and Wheeler already have their numbers secured, will you join them for a chance to win $5,000,000?

I’m all in for next weeks number. I wager it to probably be a 303 repeat.

What are the odds, Lincoln_Lawyer ...?

So you wish to choose the number 303 Mr Bacon? I'm afraid that the odds are exactly as they are, as this is a number based on share trading and not little balls drawn from a machine named after one of King Arthur's knights, the odds of 303 being next weeks numbers are exactly the same as they were for being drawn as this weeks numbers.

Color me shocked.

Then it’s decided! I’d like to bet #303 for next weeks drawing.

Sold, to the man in the Pork Fedora. $25k on #303

So its Thursday, and although we have just slipped past the 12pm cut off, i am going to extend entry until 22:00 hrs MR time... why? Because I care for you all like that. 

Besides, can you really allow Bacon, Sunset and Wheeler to hog the glory (pun intended, at least for one of our intrepid gamblers). on a completely unrelated side not, what the hell is up with Monotremes?Or for that matter their quadriphallus?

A bit later than expected, but I have been rather busy. Anyway, here are the results from the Dow Jones.

Open    34,702.39
Close    34,861.24
High     34,942.70
Low      34,631.52

So this week's winning number is... 4...0...2 that's 402.

So the only winner this week with a single digit match is Bacon. Bacon you have won, $100,000. Bacon, I shall dispatch a runner with your winnings presently.

The next draw will be Friday 1st April. Good luck.