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| FHM Reports: Murder, Madness; Macklepenny's Millions | Started by: FHM_3 on Mar 14, '22 12:30 |
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"The family business, investigative journalism, remains beset with danger. FHM, FHM_1, and FHM_2 were all murdered for their peerless investigations into the personalities behind this, one of the least newsworthy regimes in recorded history. Because of the relentlessly boring state of the upper echelons of La Cosa Nostra, journalists in this day and age are being forced to look into the past. But some don’t want the past to be looked into. And so, the life expectancy for a For Him/Her Mafia Magazine journalist on assignment is about 48 hours. But in that time, our workers have made their presence felt. This story concerns two deaths, $4m, and a one-sided grudge against the various members of that anarchist collective known, singularly, as Kuku. A man, SmokyTheBear, approached our intrepid reporter, FHM, and said “Buddahbear?” FHM, thinking that this was a strange question, agreed with him, and sensing a source, employed the type of confidence trickster tactics that make the Kuku anarchist collective one of the most effective leaderless resistance entities in this thing of ours. Before long, SmokyTheBear had agreed to provide FHM with $4,000,000 in funding. FHM felt that this was a good start, and was deciding what to do with it, when SmokyTheBear, who also told FHM he went by the name FatherMacklePenny, demanded the money back, accusing FHM of being “Kuku”.” FHM had, by this stage, passed the funding on to his magazine’s Treasurer (a high-ranking, non-Neil, member of foul-mouthed Chicago criminal Lincoln_Lawyer’s crew), and could not reimburse SmokyTheBear. What happened next isn’t clear. SmokyTheBear shot and killed FHM, and was wildly disrespectful at FHM’s funeral. At some subsequent stage, he went “rogue” – setting up a heavily fortified HQ, the protection of which was, unfortunately, not enough to save his life from an assassin’s bullets. Who killed SmokyTheBear? We may never know. What happened to his $4m? That died with FHM. Is killing a man over $4m acceptable? Perhaps, but is it sensible? Probably not. After all, who will pay SmokyTheBear back? Nobody, because he’s dead, and so is FHM. There’s a lesson in here somewhere. Thanks" |
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