FHM_3 walked to the Streets.  He has a question to ask and some sad news.

"Friends, I have had several anonymous donations of creditstock - always welcome.  

So, I would like to offer $4m for any statements given to the FBN over the senseless murder of SmokyTheBear.

Less importantly, I have been in touch with John_Fareham.  He offered to buy FHM Magazine, and I agreed.  Mr Fareham will introduce himself soon.

I am feeling sad, sullen, and dispirited.  What began as a bona fide journalistic effort has resulted in a casualty rate beyond that which is acceptable.  Whilst our deaths in one week were less than one day of Lincoln_Lawyer's controversial, ill-fated, and luckily never tried again, writing competition, we still find this death toll intolerable.

RIP - FHM

RIP - FHM_1

RIP - FHM_2

RIP - SmokyTheBear

Long Live John Fareham

Bacon reveals a recently discovered statement.

”Eat my shorts” was clearly written on a piece of paper that was hurriedly shoved into the homeless man’s jacket pocket. The guy had been begging for attention and cash all up and down the streets to anyone who’d foolishly listen.

I'm still awaiting the four million dollars that I was contracted for work in a newspaper that seems to be now defunct, this was a promise to buy my silence and now that I am seeing that I will not be receiving the money, what is to stop me from continuing to shout from the mountaintops about how I was nearly and quite forcefully blackmailed by the FHM family? I will stop at nothing until I receive what is owed to me for work that I almost did.

Can you explain to me why I am being treated this way? What have I done?

I'll stand for this no longer. I want my money, and I want it NOW.

What's all this money flying around and how do i get me some?

Someone throw me some work!

Why would I work with you if I can't get the 4 million dollars? My talents can't and won't be given away for free, and if you think that they will be then you are a fool. In fact, this is the last time I do anything here on the Streets until I have received my four million dollars, I hope you are happy because I heard there was quite a buzz about my latest adventure buzz and now those people who were looking forward to my stories will be left with nothing but their miserable mafia-riddled lives instead. 

I was bringing people hope, and now what do I bring? Silence. This is my goodbye from the streets, until I am dutifully paid what is owed to me in full which is four million dollars. This is a criminal act and I won't stand for it.

Who will join me in my silence? Let us take a stand.

Or an anti-stand, if you will. Shh.

I will put up 4 million dollars of my own money to ensure that Casanova remains unpaid and silent. 

We can't keep letting these renegades get away with this crap. You're supposed to tell the story. If I am picking the adventure myself I am doing all the work, we can't let these lazy storytellers continue! 

Grace had heard the voice of her fellow physician and followed it to a small gathering in the streets. With her interest piqued, she easily snuck the man's wallet out of his pocket and pocked half of the money before slipping it back in carefully. "Actually, he's forgotten his License is due for renewal," Grace said while taking a few quick steps away from Dr_KennethNoisewater while grinning and waving the cash at him, "So he'll offer two-million dollars," Grace said as she pocketed the money for herself. 

Unfortunately John_Fareham my NOSEY business partner Grace needed to BORROW some money. I have sent half now via telegram and the other half once that LAZT PIECE OF SHIT HORSE FINSIHES A DAMN RACE FOR ONCE. 

*Clears throat*

Sorry, it's been a... trying few days. I'm sure you understand. 

While at the casino today, I noticed John_Fareham a few tables over. He was in the middle of pulling out bills from his pocket to set aside for a bet. He ended up shoving the whole pile onto the center of the table for what would be an all-or-nothing round.

Annnnnd, he lost. He damn sure came close, but he still lost in the end of it, and all that money you tossed his way Dr_KennethNoisewater is now gone.

I suspect the same happened to everyone else who forked over some good cash to him. And who knows, maybe he was trying to pay everyone back! It only would just take a couple dozen...or hundred more donations here and there to do so.

PlagueGuy shrugged.

Grace was still moving away from the group but she couldn't contain her delight at the entire situation. While laughing she called out towards Dr_KennethNoisewater the esteemed doctor with the longest fucking name in the whole fucking world, and that was coming from an Angeletti, for Gods sake... But she called out, "Oi! Bodyguards wanna get paid too, ya know!" 

Maybe if you spent as much time tending to your patients as you do those hang-abouts you wouldn't be so broke all the time! 

Kenneth huffed and coughed slightly after straining his voice. 

I'm not much of a yeller usually, please excuse me. It sure is tough out here for us old folks. Back in my day we didn't have your fancy transistor radios and super glue! You kids have it easy with your power steering and nonstick Teflon pans.

BAH!