So Big Brother is back on UK TV. Starting with the Celeb version, shortly to be followed by the proper version. Only this year, a few difference:

• Its on Channel 5 (They decided to pay for BB then Spurs Europa League Campaign!)
• There is no Davina
• It is presented by Brian Dowling

So who is in it? I hear you scream, well a quick break down:

AMY CHILDS - Same bird from The Only Way Is Essex (TOWIE), a simialr progamme to The Hills, but with less class. She decided not to renew her contract with TOWIE so she could pursue other adventures. Expect her to be 'bare jel' and 'vejazzle' a housemate

BOBBY SABEL - Who? I hear you say. Well he is a model. Not a super one. Just a model

DARREN LYONS - An Australian paparazzo turned media personaliry. Like a poor mans Periz Hilton

JEDWARD - One's John, the other's Edward, together, they are John and Edward. And then became Jedward. Firstly on X Factor. Then Eurovision. They are twins. And shouldve been drowned at birth

KERRY KATONA - Ex member of Atomic Kitten, ex wife of Bryan McFaden (fat one from Westlife), ex druggie, ex alcoholic, well, when I say ex, she still does both. Once appeared on morning TV smashed out of her head. Interestingly, shares an agent with Amy Childs (and Peter Andre!)

LUCIAN LAVISCOUNT - Who? Ex-Waterloo Road, where he played some gimp called Jonah who fell in love and banged a female teacher (she was tasty) and went to Gretna Green to marry her, Basically a shit story line for a shit actor in a shit programme

PADDY DOHERTY - Ex BFF to Amy Winehouse, Current Libertines member. Ex-Babyshambles member. Ex Kate Moss lover. Ex druggie, ex drunk. Currently serving 6 months for some drug offence

PAMELA BACH-HASSELHOFF - Not the decent Pamela from Baywatch. Just some other old, blonde bimbo who has had way to much plastic surgery and is using her ex-husbands surname, despite it not actually being her na,e

SALLY BERCOW - Wife of the speaker of the House of Commands, MP (bet her consintuency are happy being represented...), once posed in just a bedsheet. Donating her £100,000 fee to charity

TARA REID - 'Actress' who's only half decent credit to her name is American pie. Like many others in the house, an ex drink/drug addict. Like many others (Amy, Kerry, Pamela) a fan of plastic surgery. 

So predictions?

Either Amy or Tara to get off with Bobby, and sell the rights of their romance to OK! Magazine

Lucian to follow Tara/Amy around like a lost puppy, before being snared by Bunny Boiler Kerry

Pamela to quit

The rest to not really get a career after, except JEDWARD who will be hero's, release a song on their release, then appear on X-Factor

I cant wait!

And with X Factor and the football season starting, TV on an evening in England is looking up!

omg dank i love this thread.

BB is like MR, annoying but addictive.

Not sure whether i can bring myself round to watching it with Jedward in it.

On the other hand Tara Reid is worth watching it alone. Kapow!

DanK... have a word with yourself

evening in England is looking up! - theres a lot more to the Island.. Scotland, Wales.. We need to put up with this crap too!

Otherwise, thanks for the low down on the useless, Z list Celebs that will be car crash TV for a few weeks. If Charlie Sheen had gone in, i'd have maybe given it a watch, but now the only thing I want to see is a cat fight between the three mindless tarts.