It was nights like this that Lenny loved the most, performing in front of a crowd of like-minded people. Did it make the jokes easier? No, not at all. In fact, it made the jokes more difficult to write. Now, a joke that may hit with some and miss with others, bombs in the hearts of all. Waving to the crowd of Mafioso and walking onto the stage of the old speak easy, Lenny approached the microphone.

“How’s it going folks. I tell ya’ when they said this was a tough crowd, they were serious. I mean look at the front row here. I almost need a step stool to see if anyone else came to the show. It’s got to be all that spaghetti, right? I mean come on; I have heard of carb loading but by the looks of half-of-ya you forgot the part about burning them off. I’m kidding sir don’t shoot me.”

He said leaning in the direction of a large goon in the front row.

“These are weird times to be a mobster am I right? I mean look at the newspapers. A nordic viking, an astronaut, a samurai, and a cat person all shot in a week. What the hell are you wise guy’s up to? I always thought mobsters sat around Italian restaurants scheming over the next public waste management facility they were gonna’ shoot up. Now you have some cowboy named after a world full of hobbits swinging his communist hammer of a side kick around calling the shots. Geesh, the more you learn, huh?”

He paused to scan the room.

“No but really, who are these guys? Look, I know LA is a fan of labor unions, but I didn’t know Stalin was turning them all into comrades. Where’s Truman when you need him or hell, Ike would of sent a company of Sherman’s into skid row at this rate. But maybe that doesn’t support their military industrial complex enough, I don’t know.”

"You are gonna have to watch that guy. I can't tell if he is trying to inspire a lifetime of vampire writers or if he is trying to sell me a copy of German Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei... Those communists like to rewrite history ya' know? All of a sudden, that astronaut out of Los Angeles is a cosmonaut. Ya' know, shit like that. It will just start changing all of a sudden and none of us will even notice. Just need to watch out, that's all I'm saying."

He walked closer to the edge of the stage.

“And that ringleader of theirs, a cowboy from the Black Gate of Mordor. What in the hell? I knew orcs were ugly but you don’t have to herd them like cattle, boss. Maybe they are building a railroad… it’s for commerce I swear. I don't even know if you can take a mobster seriously if he names himself after an English nerd's pipe dream.”

He took a moment to wipe his grin off of his face.

“But this criminal underworld of madness doesn’t stop there! Oh no! Look at those folks from Delaware. What do they call themselves…? The Durdens, that’s right. I swear that leader of theirs is an alien from outer space. How you gonna’ get shot every couple of days and still come back? I don’t know what kind of alien genetics are regrowing his spleen every time someone splits it in half with a luger but I think we need to be looking into that. You know what I mean? Can you imagine if we could breed that into our DNA or turn it into an aspirin or something? All I’m saying is Archduke Franz Ferdinand could of really helped us all out and taken his damn medicine. Or better yet, Abraham Lincoln could of popped up like a ninja… SURPRISE! And, sent John Wilkes Boothe back four score and seven years ago but what do I know.”

"And have you ever been to Delaware? It's a Sunday drive at best. Where does this Tyler guy keep finding all of these new recruits? If you thought the Nazi's brainwashing was effective wait until you meet this guy. Three thousand new idiots running around the country every couple of weeks and getting shot for nothing. What is the population of Delaware anyways, 300,000? They have to be teaching 'A Bullet and You.' to third graders by now. Is that where our tax money is going? Just a bunch of third graders learning how to pick locks and take blood oaths. I would like to see those budgets, I don't know about you."

Realizing his spot was running short, Lenny moved back to the microphone and placed it where it belonged.

“Thank you all so much you have been great!”

He said before taking a bow and walking off the stage.