Lily's fingers absentmindedly adjusted the wide straps of her wedding dress, fanning out the chiffon roses with a brief sigh. Her hands relaxed, slowly dropping to her sides. She glanced over to the small crowd of her giggling bridesmaids as they sucked down cigarettes and passed a flask of gin among themselves. A sudden rapping on the chamber door startled Lily, sending her hand immediately flying to her thigh, clutching the faint outline of her pistol. As a head peeked in, however, she quickly relaxed her grip on the gun and forced her lips to arch upward.

"Oh, Teddy." They both smiled wordlessly at one another for a few seconds before the bride continued speaking.

"Teddy, you're not supposed to be here. Bad luck and...and all that." She swallowed hard, trying to untwist the nervousness in her stomach. Teddy looked downcast for a moment, then gave her an ingratiating grin.

"Lily, I...I just want to talk to you for a bit." He glanced over to the attentive bridesmaids. "Alone, if you don't mind, ladies." The girls rolled their eyes before turning back into their circle, still casting interested looks over to the couple. Teddy held out an inviting hand. Lily took it reluctantly before following him out the door. He quickly pulled her into a small alcove and dropped her hand. Lily clasped her manicured hands in front of her, looking up into her fiancé's face with a mixture of curiosity and dread. He stared at her for a moment, breathing deeply as though trying to remember a scripted line. It spilled out.

"Lily, I've been thinking, and this isn't--I can't do this. We both know it's a lie. A gigantic lie." He placed his head in his hands suddenly, his fingers clutching his fine blond hair as he pressed his palms into his eyes. Lily started to calmly reach out for him, searching already for excuses--nerves, a bad night's sleep, his mother's coercion. More lies. As she opened her mouth, however, she was halted immediately by the low sound of his voice, pleading from behind his hands. "Lily, have you ever loved me?"

She choked on her response. Her mouth moved, formed words clearly: "Of course." Her voice, however, only managed to release a squeaky grunt. She closed her mouth quickly, cleared her throat, and tried again. "No." It was small. It slipped out, bidden by the pathetic man in front of her. And it had been honest. Her hand dropped. Teddy took a deep, shuddering breath. He released it in a hard chuckle.

"That's all right, Lily. I've known for a while now." His hands slid down his face, revealing a sad smile. "I...I stopped loving you when I was in Spain. Your letters were just...facts." He sighed and leaned against the wall, staring at the stained glass window. "It made me realize how little of you is...well, you. Or, who I thought was you." He whipped his head up to stare furiously at Lily. "You might as well just be floating out somewhere in the ocean. You're an iceberg, Lily. I can't wake up to that every morning. The wedding is off." He turned and took several steps away from her. He was leaving. Lily only rested her head against the wall, her face placid.

It took a moment, but Lily was soon striding toward her dressing room, already slipping the neat arrangement of flowers out of her hair and trailing them on the floor behind her. Bursting into the room, she took her bridesmaids by surprise. As they scrambled to stomp out dropped cigarettes, Lily flung her veil off, letting it hook onto the back of a chair. She snatched the flask from a bridesmaid and immediately flounced away, calling "Wedding's off!" over her shoulder. She burst into the church's sanctuary, prompting the organist to panic and begin an off-key wedding march. Quickly, however, the room hushed, all attention turned to the rumpled bride. She shrugged before speaking with bizarrely perfect diction. "I am sorry, everybody. I apologize deeply for dragging everybody out today, but I am afraid that the wedding has been cancelled." Clutching the flask of gin under her arm, she pulled the gleaming ring off her finger and made her way to the front pews. Her face a mask of apology, Lily handed the ring to an older, snub-nosed woman. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Greenway, but your son has called off our arrangement. Thank you for the use of your heirloom--it was truly wonderful to wear." The redhead began to walk away, but paused, turning again to grin at the old woman. "You'll never get him married now, you know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to mourn the loss of your fortune with some heavy drinking."

***

Hours later, Lily was laying out on a luxurious hotel bed, staring at the ceiling and occasionally swigging from a bottle of wine. When she shifted her weight on the bed, the two empty bottles of much stronger liquor beside her clinked in a dissatisfied way. Suddenly, the phone rang. She jumped and stared at the phone for several blurry moments, fascinated by its ringing. She blearily picked it up and managed to mutter out a "Hello?" The voice on the other end was only too familiar. She cracked a drunken smile and replied. "Oh, hello Ted. Yeah, didn' think it would be right to let the room go waste, so I'm usin' it tonight. No, no, dear, you weren't too harsh. Of course I'm drunk." She took another drink from the bottle, smacking her lips roughly. "It's my honeymoon, why shouldn't I be toasted? Oh, and tell your mother not to worry about paying for the hotel. I've got it. I've got a job, you know. Yeah. Bye bye. Have a great life, Teddy dear." She dropped the phone, letting the receiver dangle off its coiled cord. She turned onto her side on the bed, her arm cradling the bottle as a tear slid down her soft cheek.

Beautiful.

After the disappointment of not having a wedding reception, full of free booze, to go to, LoveGun and RonnieCummings found themselves at one of NYC's downtown hotel bars. As soon as Lily announced the wedding was canceled, flask in hand and announcing to the ex mother-in-law that her son would never marry, Ronnie convinced some of the bridesmaids to join them for drinks. Which, of course they accepted, awful fluffy baby vomit colored dresses and all. LoveGun thought Lily had style, well, better style then herself. Maybe the witch of an ex mother-in-law had picked them out.

Ronnie flirted, winked and complimented the few girls that still were around, they had kissed their soberness goodbye a few hours ago and were dropping off like flies one by one every twenty minutes or so. These last few though looked like survivors, maybe Ronnie would be escorting all of them home. He'd have his hands full, but LoveGun knew the guy would be okay, he had a way with women.

LoveGun hired Ronnie straight off a car lot. He had a cousin, who had a brother, who had an uncle who did some work for her in the past. This uncle had recommended Ronnie to her through a friend of a friend and a relative and a pastor. Didn't really matter who found Ronnie, but how Ronnie was found. Ronnie was Buck's Used Cars best salesmen and when LoveGun watched Ronnie assist the woman before her, she knew he was her man. He was the typical sleazy, greased hair salesman. Ronnie had been ripping people off for years, he could sell the worst run down piece of crap car to even the smartest lady.

He just had that charm to him, that slick smile, those pearly white teeth and a voice that was smoother then the finest scotch. The woman bought the car even though it looked like the muffler was about to fall off, it needed a paint job and wasn't worth all the other fixer uppers would need in the near future. LoveGun figured the car would maybe last four blocks away from the lot before breaking down. Ronnie however sold it by pointing out the new dented, but sparkling fender, low miles and some sort of leather that was specifically only made in France. Ronnie was a womanizer.

Back at the bar, LoveGun sipped from the glass of rum and tuned out of the Ronnie show and turned to the gossip that was being sang from the group of young socialites to their left.

"Did you hear about Ted's weddin' today?"

Asked a short stubby blond who over exaggerated her fake southern accent enough that LoveGun may need to vomit right there. Her friend across from her gasped before replying.

"Such a shame. I know Ted, well, we went to boarding school together. I don't know how he got wrapped up with such a hussy."

LoveGun's jaw dropped. She was the only one allowed to call Lily a hussy and she did it in a complimenting way. She was sure these sassy tricks were not doing such.

"Did you know this was the hotel his mother booked for their first night together?"

Another chirped in. More gasps.

"Yup" She continued. "I wonder if Teddy dear is upstairs with some old girlfriend already forgetting about that lack of class whore or if SHE is in the room, one last night to tack advantage of his money."

Their words trailed off as LoveGun thought about Lily. She looked towards the elevator, finished her drink and told Ronnie to wait for her. Moments later, LoveGun burst through the suite doors.

Lily!

She called and eventually found the petite woman in the master bedroom alone, laying on the very large bed. LoveGun thanked the stars that she didn't have to see Todd in bed with anotehr woman. She wouldn't have been able to sleep for days.

Lily, we be havin' family heirlooms to steal.

Lily jolted up in bed as the door to her room burst open. She clutched her head as the room spun around her, trying to decipher the figure standing in the doorway. Tall, buxom, blonde...talked like a pirate. Oh. LoveGun. Lily squinted at her Don, who was screaming something about stealing.

"Wh-whaat?"

"Them family heirlooms yer ex be havin'!" LoveGun sounded only somewhat frustrated as she started to pull Lily out of bed. Lily tried to find her feet, clutching hard onto LoveGun's arm. She wobbled next to the bed for a moment before finding some stability. LoveGun continued talking. "I saw that swag what ye gave back to Mrs. Hobknob--there must be much more where that came from, I'm bettin'. Please tell me I'm right, Lily."

Lily stared at her boss for a few seconds as these words swam through her soggy brain. She nodded calmly and shrugged. "Yeah, she's loaded--hell, just her side of the family had more money than mine ever did. She's Carnegie's granddaughter or something." Lily swallowed, trying to recall her mental catalogue of Mrs. Greenway's jewelry. Brooches, necklaces, braclets, rings...not to mention the fleets of fine silver for dinner parties, debutante balls...yes, the Greenways had more than enough swag to satisfy a pirate in the mafia. "But, she keeps most of it in a safe behind a bookcase."

Now Lily was a strange one. Right off the bat they didn't get along, but these days LoveGun didn't know how she survived so long without her. They were quite opposites. Lily had come from the privilege life, had class and kept her self clean. LoveGun had no class and was usually a mess, like she had slept in a dumpster - which wasn't far from the truth on some nights of her past. There taste in men was also extremely different. LoveGun thought Taylor looked like an ugly frog, one she wouldn't kiss no matter how much of a prince he was.

LoveGun picked up a frilly scarf from the floor, another reason she thought Lily was strange and something the lady had discarded. LoveGun attempted to put it over her head, but it didn't really work out to well and the pink was, well not fitting. She turned her attention back to Lily.

See, I was sittin' at the bar below and it seems. She held out the 'e' as she spoke. some people are jealous of you. Th' only reason I can be thinkin' this, besides the obvious - your beauty and skills of robbing a bank - is tha' tha' man was gonna be makin' you rich. You be skippin' the weddin' today, but that doesn' be meanin' ye be needin' to skip the riches as well.

LoveGun handed Lily her scarf back.

Go freshin' up and then we'll be givin' that trol a visit. Ron's watin' for us downstairs...hopefully.

Lily stared at the scarf for a few moments before nodding numbly and making her way stiffly toward the bathroom. Before she knew what was really happening, she was standing wobbily in the bar of the hotel. Ronnie was shoving another drink in her hands, and she downed it quicky before he and LoveGun ushered her to their car. Lily slid into the backseat, her forehead resting heavily against the window. She murmured directions to LoveGun, her bloodshot eyes barely taking in the streets well enough to do so properly. Half of her did not want to do this. Thought that Mrs. Greenway was just a doddering old lady, didn't deserve to be robbed. Teddy didn't deserve it either. He couldn't help it. But the rest of her was...well, not eager, exactly. It felt more like the three were about to go out for a night on the town. LoveGun's giddy giggles from the front seat did little to dissuade this illusion.

"Here. Right here, with the geraniums in the windows." Lily motioned out the window. LoveGun came to an abrupt halt, sending both of her passengers lurching forward in their Sseats. The piratess parked (rather badly) a few blocks away, and the trio was soon making its way up to the building. Ronnie looked around nervously. Lily smiled tipsily at him. "Whassamatta, Ron? You look like someone stepped on your grave."

Wonder's why it has to be "white"...