So I'm happy to say my new mafia basketball HQ is really shaping up.  The roster is slowly filling with talent, and we just wrapped up our annual cocaine fundraiser, which was a massive success thanks in part to the suggestion from Southsider to upgrade to brown coke, the good stuff.

But our team is presently without a name.  Not sure how much you folks follow basketball, but generally all the teams have names.

So I'm offering up a quick publicity event here in the streets to submit names for my mafia basketball team.  You can feel free to submit here on this street corner or you can mail me your submission.  The name will be selected by me and only me, and whoever's name gets selected will receive a cool $5,000,000.  I'll be sending 1 million to the 2nd place winner and 3rd place will receive some credits (don't hold me to a number but maybe like 3).

I'm also in search of a Right Hand Assistant Coach so all capable athletes should apply.

Contest will conclude 24 hours from the time of this really good speech.  I'd prefer make this contest quick, as to not allow time for any nonsense like the last big contest event la cosa nostra held which ended up being a massacre.  Thanks for supporting mafia basketball.

MCThunder walked into the room and saw FrizzleFry holding a competition, he wondered if he'd be good enough to get into his team or if he'd need to do a few more fist pumps in order to even be thought about to joining the team, but without a thought he decided to come up with names for this new team. The team was set up in 12th street, so did he want to try and be witty with 12th street, or with Detroit? that was the problem which he needed to think about.

As the day went on he came up with a name, so brilliant he was surprised he didn't think of it earlier "It Has to be, 'The Coyotes of 12th Street'" As coyotes were native to Detroit, hunted in packs with their family and attacked if provoked,  this seemed like the perfect animal to represent a basketball team.

with that MCThunder announced  " 'The Coyotes of 12th Street' that will be my entry to the competition" he then proceeded to walk out the door and go to his Cadillac outside and drive off

MCThunder walked into the room and saw FrizzleFry holding a competition, he wondered if he'd be good enough to get into his team or if he'd need to do a few more fist pumps in order to even be thought about to joining the team

Thank you for a great and swift submission MCThunder.  This is exactly the type of work ethic we appreciate here.  But as much as I would love to recruit a young athletic mobster like yourself, i can see you are already playing for Coach Giorgio-Esposito 's team, a great athlete in his own right and actually a long lost distant uncle of mine.  Small world.  Thanks again MCThunder.

The Shooters 

Imperium does a pew pew motion with her hands

Thank you for your input Mr. JFMAST but I think we're going to move on from John_Fareham and come up with our own concepts. All due respect to the man, but I am steering towards a more mafia basketball themed name.  I appreciate the submission nonetheless.

Imperium, I like it, I like it.  Am thinking of slightly altering it to The 3-Point Shooters though, as the 'Shooters" aspect applies to both mobsters shooting their guns as well as basketball players hitting nothing but net all day long.  However Imperium if I do decide to alter the name you subitted, you will receive the full cash prize for this idea.  Thank you.

Iron Mike looks confused, he gives his shiny dome a scratch with his shovel hands... The dome on his head for gods sake, get your mind out of the gutter Coath.

"I thought the team name wath officially team name pending. Knock me down with a stiff uppercut."

Mike had to think hard, he did not like thinking, he much preferred laying a beat down on anyone fool enough to try & lift cash from his wallet but aththithtant head coath FrizzleFry was a good man & he wanted to help. His strange lispthy voice rang out in a high pitch.

"What about the Detroit pithtolth, shure we already have the Detroit Pithtons but pithtolth are pretty fkin thweet. You thhoot a pithtol and you thhoot a bathketball gettit coath?"

Iron Mike notices the look of disappointment on Coatch FrizzleFry's face and with pre-conditioning similar to pavlovs dogs Mike prepares to take a lap. He interjects quickly

"OK OK I get it you didn't like the name but try thith joke on for thize...Why did the poor bathketball player ( Grin-22 ) join up to the craft club?...

Iron Mike pauses for maximum comedic effect

"He wanted to learn how to make bathketth..."

Dead silence.

"OK Coath I'll take a lap"

I regret to inform everyone that after some internal crew discussion a decision was made to end this contest early.  I will no longer be accepting submissions.  The team is going to be called The Detroit John_Farehams.

Thank you to those who mailed and offered up name submissions.  The second place prize goes to Imperium.  I decided to double the second place prize money from 1 million dollars to 2 million, as her name submission is the one that I actually wanted to choose.  She will be receiving her money shortly.

That's it.  Thanks

FrizzleFry leaves

With weather outside and clothes on his body, HeadCoach shows up at the thing.

What a terrific contest. Excellent work, FrizzleFry. Did he leave? I'm going to assume he's still here. Your ability to do in 6 hours what you promised in 24 is remarkable. And the entries, almost 4 of them! What a number! It's nice to see MikeTyson out and about too. What's good, Iron Mike?

The Detroit John_Fareham's. It wouldn't have been my first choice. The Shooters sounded pretty good to me. We'll see how it goes, coach. We can always get those jerseys re-printed. But is it nice that you've decided to honor a man unjustly executed by a leader high on his own lugubrious supply? Of course. Cocaine, FrizzleFry. HGH. Swimtrunks. 

Alright, you all take care now. 

Assistant Coach FrizzleFry returns and reconvenes at the same spot he left off.  He kindly asks for everyone's attention.

First off, as you all are aware, my member JFMAST has been slain by Cantfindasuit right here on these very streets.  I'd like to ask at this time for a moment of silence for the fallen athlete.

The large crowd bows their heads solemnly.  Assistant Coach FrizzleFry allows for extra moments of silence for mourning purposes.

But life goes on as they say.  Not so much for JFMAST or Cantfindasuit, but for other people I mean.  Furthermore, business goes on, and that is what I am here to discuss.

My team will no longer be called the Detroit John_Farehams.  At this time, I'd like to announce my NEW team name, The Detroit Dribblers!  You know, like dribbling a basketball?  Anyway I've already ordered up new jerseys for my entire team and will give it to him as soon as they arrive.  I'm very excited to begin this new chapter of our team's journey.

FrizzleFry pops a bottle of champagne and commences with celebrating the new branding.

Skidmark ponders the seemingly new direction being taken by FrizzleFry and can't help but wonder if it is a mistake...

Heritage. Legacy. In a business where few get out alive, that is all we have. It would be like renaming the Boston Celtics the "Boston Inuits". Those seal clubbing assholes. I suppose it's not a bad name if you want to divert people's attention away from the never ending saga of the Fareham lineage and those who persecute him and fail to appreciate his brilliance. My only concern is that the name "Dribblers" could be interpreted in another way. Some might think you have a team full of half-wits with saliva dribbling down their chins. But of course that cannot be the case if you don't actually have players on your team.

The second my back is turned after I give you a chance, against my better judgement, you're out here trying to get a trade to another team. I won't put up with it, John. I absolutely won't. I'm well known to be jovial, have good humour and have acknowledged such, but I'm not going to have you make a JusLooking or FatherMacklePenny out of me. I won't be harassed into leaving these shores with a pocket full of cash either, so don't even think about doing that.

The deed is done, John. You're out on your ear. Your contract is up; beat it. If 12th Street are dumb enough to take a chance on you, then they are exactly the type of rim protectors I've long suspected them of being. 

Pardon the interruption, I promise I will keep this brief.  Some decisions were made as of very recently and at this time it appears we will be reverting our team's name back to the Detroit John_Farehams again.

That's all.

FrizzleFry places his fedora on his head and leaves.