Iron Mikes big day was finally here. The de facto leader of Detroit (Since the passing of BricktownCL - GRHS) HeadCoach had summoned Mike into his office, at the state-of-the-art JFMAST training facility & dropped the news that Mike would be taking over a small crew in Corktown. It seemed the recent allegations from the fiendish Grin-22 of math geekism & goober like behavior had not stuck.

Iron Mike would continue with the traditions of Corktown, providing a great service to organised crime by presently offering more available housing than any other crew in the country. The baddeth man on the planet would certainly be keeping up the Detroit tradition of dealing over the top ultra-violence to potential pick pockets each & every time.

The new crew would be named the Corktown 112’s. We will be working out of Iron Mike's Muscle Maker Gym in Corktown. We will take your tired, your poor & your hungry (Or your rejected basketball players) & turn them into elite boxers capable of punching the living daylights out of your average puny mafioso’s. We will have 3 rules or values to live by; Mug each & every time, No Math Nerdism or Nerdism of any kind & finally No Communal Showers. I expect all recruits to live & die (Probably sooner than later) by this credo.

Unlike Head Coath I will not bark orders for press up’s, squats or burpees whilst you try & discuss busineth with me. Unlike the "Gentlemen" over at the JFMAST we will not all be taking communal showers; our more modest budget means we will use the world-famous tourist attraction, the one & only 12^th Street Public Bathroom as our changing rooms before gym sessions. All recruits should be careful to not give any money to the strange man occupying this fine location (CancidRunt) as this will just encourage him.  

Praise & congratulations have been pouring in from the 6 cities including;

"That lisping dickhead will be setting up in Corktown"  - Thanks HeadCoach

 “Congrats Mr. Tyson. Please ensure that your pigeon stops shitting everywhere though, ok?” - I will do my best Illuminatiated but my avian friend is currently my only member.

 “Who are you again? Why would I congratulate you on auth?” - Thank you friend FrenchieHorn

 “I hate Mike Tyson. He gave me a wedgie when I tried to pickpocket him. What do you mean he is going to make this public, for fucks sakes…Well done Iron Mike. Slow Clap” - Wise words Southsider

 “You are now on the restraining order list along with Grin-22 and Frizzle.” sisterivoryDarkmore - Harsh but probably fair.

"Hmmmfyg nuunmam bastid" - Dmitry - Friend Dmitry was having some issues speaking after the vicious volley of punches he absorbed from Iron Mike but I think this translates to "Well done Mike, I am going to be pissing blood for a week" 

"Mike is the worst right hand man I ever had" - Thank you Denis  

 With all that said I must now be to work, keeping such a vast criminal enterprise on the road is theriothly taxing.

Iron Mike! Iron Mike! Iron Mike!

What a stunning addition to the Detroit scenery. Having already established ourselves as the finest purveyors of power-violence in the country, we've now got the finest heavyweight fighter in the world to put a little more oomph into our slugs. The next knuckle sandwich I deliver is going to be returned to the kitchen full of cracked teeth. The sheer level of raw athleticism pouring out of this city right now is unbelievable. Who can compete? I was half-tempted to auth you into Bella Vista just to keep these guys on their toes.

I'm glad you are sticking to our tenets regarding math nerdery, that of which you were under investigation for not so long ago. You know as much as anyone:

Detroit is a NO JEROME ZONE.

It makes me so proud how quickly - under my exceptional tutelage - you took to delivering vicious beatdowns to the various goobers and dilberts who dared pick our pockets for abacus money. And it brings a tear to my eye to think of the conversations we've over the urinals in the 12th Street Toilets, willies out, while Skidmark conducted drug tests to make sure the team were taking their HGH supplements. And it brings a chicken tortilla wrap to my mouth when I think about how hungry I am right now.

Coaching is hard business, Mike. I've been up since the crack of dawn scrawling obscenities on a handheld whiteboard. This one just says 'pisswizard'. I want to give a shoutout to Denis too, a true prince of the city, the best head of hair you'll find in the entire continental USA, believe that. Bless you, Mike. Good luck. Boat drinks. 

"Iron Mikes Rough Day, Iron Mikes Big Day, what's next? Iron Mikes Day at the Museum? Iron Mike does some more math? Iron Mike bites the ear off a rival Crewleader? Just kidding about the last one, that one could actually happen. Don’t do that. Unless…”

Hobbs checks his wallet and frowns. It was empty after another vicious beating in Detroit. Hobbs was as stupid as he was tall, and repeatedly fell for Headcoach’s tricks, which inevitably led to his daily dose of humiliation.

“How much would it cost for you to bite Headcoach’s ear? It’d be character building for both of you. It would add a much-needed fear factor to Detroit, one that’s been lacking since BricktownCL (GRHS) passed on to the other side. Might also get the Coach some pity action too. You’d be the hero that Detroit has been sorely lacking in since Grin-22 went quiet and stopped answering my letters. Speaking of.. I think I need to send him a follow up."

Hobbs moved off with passion in his heart and trusty pen in his pocket.

Iron Mike may have just beaten the snot out of HeadCoach & left him looking like a bloody blubbery mess, but do not for a second think this was for you, or your dirty money Hobbs

Its simply how we do things in Mug City. If any pencil necked geeks are looking to reform & bulk up we are still proud to offer the most housing across the USA & can brag about our activity levels being superior to Southsider We also have a rather wonderful public toilet just down the road in 12th Street.

You too could be an alpha male like Iron Mike. Don't be a Jerome! Join now!