Jun 02, 19:57:49    Indiana-Jones accepted your crime invite.
Jun 02, 19:57:25    Gnoch accepted your crime invite.
Jun 02, 19:57:14    Cheetara accepted your crime invite.
Jun 02, 19:57:09    Void accepted your crime invite.
Jun 02, 20:08:31    Denis accepted your crime invite.

Indiana-Jones, Gnoch, Cheetara, Void, Denis, we stand here on the precipice of history. Me - HeadCoach - organizer of organized crimes. You, residents of Las Vegas, a filthy city without charm, home of vagrants like Ricky_Starks.  

What does this trucking depot hold for us?

It's not for me to say. 

It's for US to say.

As a team. 

In Detroit, we do everything as a team. We train as a team. We eat as a team. We shower as a team. It's what good teams do. In Summerlin, Hobbs eats boiled fish alone in his 1-bedroom apartment. It's not in your culture to stand together as strong, vascular, creatine-filled brethren. There's barely a gym or protein-supplement store to be found. Normally I wouldn't run a crime like this with just West Coasters, but with the muscle mass and tenacity of a Detroit-born specimen like Denis, we should be able to see this through. 

I hope you're ready for the 40 to 50 thousand dollars we're about to earn. We will be rich, friends. You could buy a restaurant with that kind of money. Or a very small hotel. 

I hope we succeed. There has been a lot of ceremony about this. But if we fail, Las Vegas is to blame. Such a pedestrian place. 

Your gang earned a total of $550,000 split 7 ways.

You're welcome, Las Vegas. What an enormous success. Who knew this much money could be found in such a decrepit shell of a city? A crime like this in Detroit would put you into the millions. You'd be eating caviar off gold-leafed spoons. But this is good enough. You can't ask for more from a city without a proper mafia basketball team.

Hobbs slow capped. Clap. Clap. Clap. His 180-200 bodyguards (Exact numbers unknown, but it was INSANE levels of protection) also joined in. It was a crescendo of claps the likes of which a failing Mafia Basketball team with a recent form sheet of L-L-L-L-L could never understand and never hope to witness again, unless it was the ironic cheers of the entire population of Las Vegas every time Headcoach managed to bend down and get near to his toes.

"Congratulations. A great success as you say - built off the back of hardworking Las Vegas gentleman and one Detroit ginger. A success that would not be possible without the blood, sweat and toil of our great city."

Hobbs paused for dramatic effect

"And whilst you were off being carried to an unlikely victory, I was over in Los Angeles beating seven shades of piss out of your Right Hand Man. Poor Skidmark. Abandoned alone out west. His pockets yielded a paltry sum  - but no doubt reflective of a city bankrupt by inept leadership and a juice budget deficit.

You know, Skidmark mailed me after in tears asking how I managed to get to him whilst he cowered in jail hiding. Let this be a lesson for you. Bars are no obstacle to a man like Hobbs."

Mugging and taking a mugging are two customs any Detroit all-star could tell you we are proud to partake in. Detroit is the most mug-positive city in this country, Hobbs. I've mugged Grin-22, one of my own team members, twelve times. I've also killed two of his bodyguards. Mafia basketballers, like Spartans, are raised in a state of warfare. I imagine that once you left, Skidmark simply stood up, wiped your snot, froth and spittle off his person, and went about his day, $1,758 lighter - chump change for a mafia basketball superstar. Meanwhile, the four times I have mugged you, I recall running into you at the 12th Street Public Toilets, hands shaking so violently you could barely guide your weewee through the glory hole. 

Skidmark stroll up to the conversation with his clothing slightly wrinkled and his hair looking like he just woke up. He had a dirty grin on his face like he enjoyed the rough sport of it all...

"What can I say? Ol' Hoobs snuck up behind me and stuck his protractor and compass right into the small of my back. I took the assault like a man. A real man. A Detroit man with raging biceps and huge pectoral muscles. There I was in jail, thinking I was safe, and Hoobs somehow managed to get in through the front gates despite not being convicted of any crime. It's amazing what sexual favors to the prison guards will get you. In this case, it got him the satisfaction of sticking me with his compass and walking away with my bubble gum money. I hope it was worth it, Hoobs. You'll be walking like a hardcore equestrian for about a week. Was it worth $1,758?".

"Enjoy your moment in the sun. Now that I'm out of prison I will be walking around with eyes in the back of my head. It won't happen again, I can promise you that!"

Well, having had the opportunity to be part of this expertly organised raid I can only say I was happy to see the massive GIRTH of the HeadCoach in action and operating together with my sin city comrades.

The lineup was determined, calls were shouted, I had a basketball thrown at my head for almost jobbing the heist. But in the end we managed to pull through, I'll be sure to use my cut to sponsor the local basketball team in Vegas.

Indiana Jones will always be thankful for any opportunities to make money even if such organized crimes were headed by the public toilet frequenting urchins from Detroit.

"I've sent you your cut HeadCoach, please don't spend it all at once."

He turned to Hobbs.

"Have I sent him too much?" 

"$1 is enough to buy himself a half time orange segment. It is there"fore both too much, and too little, and thus an acceptable and insulting amount. I hope he eats it, rind and all, and then chokes.

Indiana-Jones, you know what, I appreciate it. I like receiving a dollar. It's better than not receiving a dollar. It's sort of the same approach I take with Hobbs. I appreciate Hobbs blasting his vendetta against mafia basketball across the country for everyone to hear. It's better than not talking about mafia basketball. No such thing as bad press. You know what I prefer to bad press? A bench press. You guys been working out at the Las Vegas Detroit Mafia Basketball Gym lately? I am feeling strong as a damn bull today. I could rip a bounce pass across the Atlantic right now. Feel my arms. Feel how solid they are. Try and hit me, I won't even feel it. I'm built like a tractor trailer. I can't swim in pools anymore because I sink to the bottom like a rock. They had to scoop me out with a backhoe, I held my breath for 35 minutes. A lesser-trained man wouldn't have made it through that, but I did. 

"I think today I have found the Organised Crimer to end all Organised Crimers. MidPoinT's planning abilites likely to be the among the best on this planet, it almost felt like I was being held hostage and had to keep coming along on his masterfully organised jobs."

"Whenever we came back from a sally MidpoinT would say 'Okay guys can I use your help with just one more thing?'"

	Jun 10, 20:59:56	You earned $75,429 with the MidpoinT Gang for the crime Torch a rival's business.
	Jun 10, 20:59:27	You earned $75,429 with the MidpoinT Gang for the crime Torch a rival's business. Your entire group feels a sudden rush of adrenaline. MidpoinT wants to do that again!
	Jun 10, 20:58:22	You earned $75,429 with the MidpoinT Gang for the crime Torch a rival's business. Your entire group feels a sudden rush of adrenaline. MidpoinT wants to do that again!
	Jun 10, 20:55:04	You earned $67,065 with the MidpoinT Gang for the crime Run a loansharking operation. Your entire group feels a sudden rush of adrenaline. MidpoinT wants to do that again!
	Jun 10, 20:49:16	You earned $62,118 with the MidpoinT Gang for the crime Torch a rival's business. Your entire group feels a sudden rush of adrenaline. MidpoinT wants to do that again!
	Jun 10, 20:46:58	You failed to Raid a Trucking Depot with the MidpoinT Gang. Your crew hauled ass out of there. (No timer added.)

"This man is truly going places."