What was better than a business in Detroit that catered to the weird humans that lined the city streets, with their low cut pants and muscle shirts that showed off far too much of a midriff? Why, a business that was for the people of Vegas to come and escape the barbarity of pickpocketing, mugging, and the annoying squeaks of basketball shoes up against the floors of every other shop within the districts; this place would have everything that the debutante of Las Vegas was used to, and more.

"Are you sure this is the layout that you want? There's no bathrooms? Where will people go?" the smile on Gnoch's face said it all as he opened up a back window and scribbled "Bathroom" above it in chalk. "This is where they'll go." he pointed outside, straight onto one of Detroit's many thoroughfares. As for the rest of the place, it would be exactly what you would expect:

Dining Hall

This was one of the larger rooms, and it held quite the air of superiority to the rest of the place as it was where building had begun and where over eighty percent of the funds went, for you see, Gnoch was quite the businessman, but he didn't have the acumen with money that most other businessmen had, probably due to the fact that he was still just another meathead mafioso at the end of the day-- the place was beautiful, though-- there were chairs adorned with hard to find jewels, and chairs made of ivory, a small dance floor was in the middle of the room where patrons could spend their time listening to the hits of the fifties, and drinks and food were constantly being brought out from the kitchens at a nice pace to make sure no one was thirsty or hungry.

It would largely be used for consorting among the powerful in Vegas, the type of thing that they are used to doing on a daily basis and what keeps them all so spry in not only body but in mind. You would think that this wouldn't be where most of the funds went for the place, but as it was explained before, Gnoch wasn't really thinking when he first started the erection of "Vegas Only".

Speaking of thinking, next on the trip in the establishment you would run into the official: 

Vegas Only Library

Most of his books were stolen from Hobbs Detroit Public Library, having used a scheme where he would take out books under various pseudonyms and then never return them. This was one of the smaller rooms, and was quite honestly just a closet that had a single bookcase filled with a few self-help books and mystery novels. There wasn't much reading to be done in Vegas anyhow, as most of the action was in the bright lights of the:

Detroit Casino

Again, at this point Gnoch had pretty much ran out of money and so he stole a few blackjack tables from twigs who ran the Palm's Casino in Las Vegas. Not only that, but some of the tables were clearly blackjack tables which had been repurposed into roulette tables, with makeshift wheels that didn't work properly and only went to the number 12.

Outside of that, there were foods and drinks prepared by the kitchens, same as the Dining Hall in a dire attempt to keep people from leaving so that they would spend any sort of money in Detroit's first ever legitimate Casino which was home to two nearly-almost functional slot machines (which were again "donated" by the Palm's Casino) and a third which was just a cardboard box that Gnoch would sometimes sit in and make beeping sounds while shouting if someone won or lost the money they shoved into the cut-out slot.

All in all, this would be quite the Vegas spot in Detroit.

Outside of the three large rooms, there was a small fourth where the security team sat, always on watch for any of the riffraff from Detroit accidentally getting into the exclusive Las Vegas Only Club. While most of them were underpaid, at least one used to wrestle for a local college and could definitely do some damage if he had to.

So that it was, Vegas Only - Now Open. Welcome! (If you're from Vegas.)

Conqueeftador hurriedly waddles into the new business pushing past the extremely weak looking people manning the place.

"I can't make it to the Public Toilets! Those new protein shakes MikeTyson started me on are really something. Quickly where is the bathroom?"

Without waiting for a response he hobbles over to the 'bathroom' that Gnoch constructed and dropped his JFMAST leisure wear around his ankles. Over the next proceeding minutes an unholy cacophony came from this makeshift bathroom. After much sputtering, silence wins out and Conqueeftador exits into the main room wiping the sweat away from his forehead with a page torn from a book. 

"You DO NOT want to go back there for a bit. I'd also consider hiring a plumber to check your toilet the flusher just seems to open and close the blinds." 

Coach watched Conqueeftador tear into the bathrooms from his perch on an ivory chair in the dining hall, where he had disguised himself as a four-eyed dorkazoid, thus fitting in with the clientele perfectly. He tucked a stolen copy of Virginia Woolf's The Waves into his front pocket for all to see; an awful work that featured a hundred freaking characters, not a single one of whom could dribble a basketball. It was just the kind of worthless drivel you'd find at that eyesore of a library Hobbs had opened. It seemed to do the trick of convincing the bouncers he belonged, however. 

"I adored how she used the waves as a device to describe the rhythms and patterns of life", one of the wispy patrons had begun, gesturing to the book, while Coach dug in to a couple plates of appetizers he'd requested the wait staff just leave at the table, rather than offer around the room. His face went a violent shade of purple suppressing his will to mug, the pulsating girth of his mighty torso now threatening to break out of his clothes completely and revert him to his natural state. Breathe, Coach. Breathe. Conqueeftador's sudden exit from the toilets distracted him from his rage. Close one. Too close. 

Gnoch had gnoch-ed up a great place here. It was a sanctuary within the very heart of Detroit. A place Las Vegans could go to have a good time and talk about anything other than basketball. Hobbs set up camp in one of the corners of the room that he dubbed 'Little Summerlin'. On the walls there he hung "No Ball Games" banners and signage, and put up a picture of Headcoach to use as a dart board. It was the largest dartboard in the world given the size of his giant meaty head.

"Anyone want to play?" I asked the room. I picked up the darty things and begun to throw them. Most missed their mark but the odd dart hit the target true and centre.

"I wonder if I could pop one of his chins in real life? What do you think Gnoch?" 

I was being extra nice to him at the moment due to the vicious beating he'd given me all over 4,000 dollars.

"I love this place. Really love it. Where's that smell coming from though? It's disgusting. You really should try sort that out..."

Assistant Coach FrizzleFry enters the Vegas Only establishment.  Instead of his trademark assistant coach gear, he is wearing an I HEART LV shirt, dark sunglasses, and a fake mustache to conceal his identity.  He strides into the dining room and takes a seat on one of the ivory jewel-studded chairs.  He looks up at Gnoch and muffles his voice, thus disguising it with a very strong Las Vegas accent.

Oh hi Gnoch.  My name is MCThunder.  So how's things going?  Any interesting or confidential Las Vegas information I should know about?

Void had heard of another sanctuary being built in Detroit that the visiting Vegasians could enjoy. Detroit had many venues, but yet there were few where one would not have to worry about basketballs being thrown at their heads or where there wasn't the constant threat of being ridiculed for your muscle-to-bodyfat ratio.

Gnoch's establishment claimed to be "Vegas only", Void wanted to test the legitimacy of this suspected marketing ploy and thus went into the place undercover dressed up as the infamous Detroitian FrizzleFry. It was time to find out whether "Vegas Only" would live up to its name.

Hair slicked back, teeth whitened with some special brand of toothpase and dressed in a white polo sporting an uncanny smile Void managed to disguise his normally gloomy and scruffy appearance. To complete the outfit he also brought the basketball handed to him the day before by BBB, when Void had refused the honorary BBB membership card.

Void entered the building and spotted Hobbs in the corner of the lobby throwing darts at a picture of a gorilla on the wall. After the initial confusion brought on by this scene Void was afraid that his arch-frenesis would recognise him through his masterful disguise so he quickly skedaddled off into the dining hall.

Entering the dining hall he immediately spotted a sunglasses-wearing individual who he suspected that, due to their love for LV made plain by their t-shirt, would immediately call for a bouncer if he saw the disguised Void. For this reason he sneaked to the complete opposite side of the room before taking a seat at one of the tables.

Turning in his chair Void leaned forward over its back and said to the guests behind him enjoying their dinner "What it do my fellow GIRTHY athletes, anybody fancy shooting some mad b-ball hoops after downing this GRUB? Man's gotta eat to get those MAD GAINS".

MCThunder looks at the man posing as Assistant Coach FrizzleFry and frowns so deeply his fake mustache almost comes unglued and falls into his bowl of gumbo (a traditional Las Vegas meal), unamused by the impersonation.  Probably twigs up to his usual anti-Detroit mockeries.  It takes a real lowlife to walk into a place pretending to be someone he or she is not, he thinks to himself.   MCThunder maintains his composure though, as to not blow his cover.

After a few minutes of stewing over it, he decides to expose this imposter by using the cunning he acquired over the years as an assistant basketball coach and approaches the costumed man.

Oh hello Assistant Coach FrizzleFry, it's an honor to meet you.  My name is MCThunder from Las Vegas, the city that we are both from.  I hear a lot of people from our hometown (Las Vegas) say that it should actually be you running the city of Detroit, not HeadCoach.  Say, what was the name of that Right Hand Man you used to have?  The one that used to force you to change your crew name to the Detroit John_Farehams and wouldn't allow you to buy bodyguards?

Let's see how that despicable twigs gets out of this one, MCThunder thinks to himself.

Hobbs finished playing darts and left Little Summerlin  to find a drink. He passed M There was a well educated gentleman reading a book a top an ivory tower that Hobbs was dying to conversate with, but he felt too embarrassed to do so not knowing enough about that particularly book. 

Instead he just nodded his head as he passed and said "Those shades are dope fire. Tots lit bruh". 

It's what he was told the cool kids were doing these days.

Speaking of cool kids, he saw an unusual sight in FrizzleFry in the corner with a freshly groomed moustache looking fetch, but also, banned from the establishment.

He was probably hear to recruit that motherfucking god damn peace pervert, Void. Fuming, Hobbs stormed over pushing past McThunder looking a bit more put together than usual to get there.

"You shouldn't be here" Hobbs hissed. "Are you here at Void's invitation? Is he forming a basketball team after all? I knew it. Wait till twigs here's of this.

Heads. Will. Roll. (But not like a basketball.).

Though Void had guessed to be approached by the staff to throw him out he had not expected to be approached by the visiting clientelle instead, seems like The Moustachio'ed Vegas Lover saw him sit down after all. This plan seemed to unfold like most of his OCs and was headed for disaster.

"Why hello MCThunder, I hadn't recognised you! Didn't know you were growing a moustache, looks sick broski. 'The city we are both from'? Haha I don't know what you mean I'm from DETROIT the CITY OF B-BALL and PUBLIC TOILETS after all haha."

It was at this point that the @FrizzleFry-disguised Void had begun to get the nervous sweats.

"Oh wow haha I guess I'm getting one of those post workout sweats, a common occurence when going HARD at the GYM and a sign that I'll be getting MASSIVE GAINS. I most definitely go to the gym very often!!!"

"The right-hand-man that made me change my name? Why of course that would be John! A shame the fellow's no longer with us, it's unfortunate what fatal consequences an accident in the boxing ring can have." Though Void was not very up to speed with Detroit's history (the section in the Public Library's single book on the subject was already lent out to another visitor) he hoped this answer would satisfy the interrogative MCThunder.

Another person who Void had hoped would not notice him seemed to storm towards his table. Hobbs looked like he was about to pull a HeadCoach on the dining room and start throwing chairs.

"Here on Void's invitation? What? That unathletic off-topic-noise-spewing pencil-necked mug-virgin? That guy wouldn't even be able to catch a basketball if he gave it his all, running a team would be way out of league for that schmuck."

Void had looked around him and noticed that several of the guests had stopped eating their Big Daddy Steaks and were now looking over their shoulders at the unfolding scandalous scene. The nervous sweats intensified.

Hobbs LAUGHED. He agreed one thousand percent with Frizzlefry's insulting of Void, and decided to publicly say so for all to see. 

"Do you know what, FrizzleFry? You're alright. You're the best of them. I agree one thousand percent with your insulting of Void. Fuck me pal, that guy is TERRIBLE. He is literally the worst. I've had shits in the 12th street toilets with more style and personality than Void. Not that I'd say that to his face. He thinks I'm his friend. WELL I'M NOT."

Hobbs laughed. He wasn't sure why he was telling Frizzle this, it was supposed to be a safe Las Vegas space for the most part though so it should have been

"Between you and me pal, I think he's close to negotiating a 5 year contract and signing a deal to join JFMAST. Might not be in the worst thing in the world for him. I think what the BBB has shown is Void just wants to play ball and live a peaceful life. Breaks my heart in a way.

Hobbs turned away walking past an astounded McThunder as he passed.

"What are you so shocked at? Finally won a dice bet?"

Shit, he didn't fall for it, Assistant Coach FrizzleFry thought to himself.  He nailed all his questions, somehow even eluding his clever trick question.  He was becoming increasingly nervous himself, as his MCThunder costume was coming unglued due to his own nervous perspiration.  "Think fast, think fast, come on..." he assistant coached himself in his mind.  The arrival of Hobbs could only spell doom for him, as his closeted obsession with Detroit basketball would most likely prove his MCThunder costume as a sham.

Oh hey what's up Hobbs!  What brings you here to this lousy city all the way from Las Vegas, the city that you and I are both from?

Thinking quickly on his feet, he addresses Hobb's remark about MCThunder's dice betting skills or lack thereof.  Unsure if MCThunder was known for his winnings or losings at dice, he gives a neutral answer.

Well you know what they say Hobbs, you win some you lose some, right?

I should have said "The House always wins" which is a gambling trope used around the casinos in Las Vegas.  He hoped that this would go unnoticed.  He had unfortunately gotten the expression wrong as he was confusing it with his own motto to explain his own basketball team's win/loss record, which is 'You lose some and you lose some'.

As for Void, I couldn't agree more.  Am I thinking of the right guy?  The one from OUR home city Las Vegas right?  

Void.  THAT'S who the imposter was.  He should have been able to smell his treachery as soon as he walked in the door.  How can I work this to my advantage?  Think, Assistant Coach FrizzleFry, THINK!"

Sooooooo anyways, enough about these trivial matters.  Let's talk about Detroit and OUR plans to wipe the city clean of all things basketball.  I was thinking maybe we take out HeadCoach which will make room for myself to take over the city.  I mean for that guy over there to take over the city.

He points to Void who is still masquerading as his own good self in his insulting costume.

"You know Thunder, I never used to like you. But today? This version of you? I LOVE IT." 

Hobbs thumped him on the back and noted he'd spent some serious time in the gym lately.

"Bulking out for Hot Boy Summer huh? I respect that MCThunder. Hey, what's your opinion on MidpoinT? That guy knocked me clean out, so now I'm not sure whether to vote for him or try have him thrown out of the competition for foul play?"

Hobbs left McThunder to think about it and went back to FrizzleFry.

Hobbs was concerned when FrizzleFry continue to drool in front of him. It was weird, it was the first real in person conversation Hobbs and Frizzle had ever had and well... Frizzle was not living up to the hype. "Your moustache is thin as shit" he said. He had to continue to show that Las Vegas was the preeminent city in all of the cities that people could travel to.

"The only thing I admire about you is that you happily insult Void, as I have serious concerns about him. In fact..."

Hobbs walked away and came back with a satchel that contained a folder. Inside were all the documented cases of Void being a 'Peace Pervert' and Detroit lover.

"Get a look at this? Go on read through it - it's fine. As soon as I'm done here I'm going to take that very valuable folder to twigs."

Hobbs continued to walk aimlessly around the room looking for other LV Only Patrons

Void noticed MCThunder was sweating as well. Maybe it wasn't Void's nervous state that made him exude more sweat than Hobbs after his recent beatdown, perhaps it was just generally warm in here and "Vegas Only" had poor ventilation.

Void had been pretending to drool/have dozed off in order to spare himself from more interrogatory questions which could reveal his true identity and expose his FrizzleFry cosplay. If word had gotten out that he had disguised himself as a Detroitian a public scandal was sure to have been made. Detroit no doubt would not have been impressed by his antics, and Hobbs would use this as more ammunition to paint Void as a sympathiser and to question Void's allegiance to The Forest. twigs would probably start refusing him payday slips as well.

Void noticed that Hobbs had set down a file before him and that he had walked off elsewhere looking for more trouble. Seeing his own name printed on it his pupils widened and another bout of sweating ensued, he stopped pretending to snore and started reading the contents of this slanderous document.

There was some truth to it (an "Organised Crimer" heading, a section on participation in the local tradition of mugging) but there were also many slanderous lies (no doubt acted out by the stage actor Hobbs hired that Void had spotted at the boxing ring the other day). What was Hobbs planning with this? Why was he so intent on publically slandering Void? Having decided that he could not permit this mix of truth and fiction to go public Void had devised a plan.

"Uhh MCThunder it seems I am VERY SLEEPY and dozed off after consuming my grub. I guess that's what going HARD at the GYM and the mandatory post-workout YOGA SESSIONS do to you. I hate to take take my leave so early but I just remembered I need to go walk my flowers and water my dog." Void quickly slipped the "Peace Pervert Report" under his coat and ran off as fast as his legs could carry him.

He did note that none of the "Vegas Only" staff had attempted to throw him out of the venue as a presumed Detroitian. It seems like the place's name was a marketing ploy after all, he would be forced to leave a negative review about this in the local newspaper.

Hobbs completed his mathlete circuit of the room. 

"One four is four. Two fours are eight. Three four are twelve. That's what I care about. Do do do." Hobbs hummed happily as he went around the room. He got back to his starting point. Everyone was gone. McThunder wasn't technically gone He eas dead on the floor, but Frizzle was gone and SO was his binder.

"MY BINDER. MY INTEL."

Hobbs screamed in anguish akin to the scream of a man who just killed a load of kids, choked his wife, had his mentor chop off his arm and legs and become some form of futuristic robot man.

"NOOOOOOOO".

Without that Void would be able to live a normal peace filled life. He would get to be a pervert in all walks of life. Hobbs had failed.

It had been known around town that Godfather-Chairman twigs had taken up a new hobby as of late. Instead of his previous pursuit of perfecting the art of bulgogi-making he had now plunged bark-deep into the ancient game of chess. Many Las Vegians were ordered to play a match, but few had proven to be up to his standard.

Today the Godfather-Chairman had chosen "Vegas Only" as the host of his battles of strategy and skill. Void had gotten a letter in the mail this morning summoning him to a specially prepared table in the back of the Casino Area of the aforementioned joint. When Void had arrived there he saw a dejected Hobbs walk past him away from the table and a king knocked over on the side opposite of twigs. Evidently Void hadn't been the only challenger today.

Void shook hands with his boss and some pleasantries were exchanged before the battles started. The pair of matches had ended rather quickly, in both it could be observed that Void had made some blunders here and there and was mostly playing defensively, but the defence had proven to be insufficient for twigs' continued assaults on the king. In the end Void had gotten utterly felted.

It was when Void was walking away from the table with the intention to go into the dining hall to order a Big Daddy Steak when he came across Hobbs once more. Void calmy said "Hey Hobbs, were you here for a game of chess against the big boss as we—" before he got interrupted with a violent slap to the face with a golden glove sporting a Three Star Hotel logo.

Jul 08, 19:33:30

Hobbs has issued a challenge to duel to you. Hobbs will shoot first. Click here to accept or decline the duel.

Void lifted his left hand to his reddening cheek "Hobbs, what are you saying? Is this really how it will end for little old me?" Hobbs pointed back to the chess table and said in an angry voice "No Void you moron, chess. What the fuck are you staring at me with such fear in your eyes for you useless peace pervert." Void responded with some relief "Oh I see. Chess. Heh."

The contestants sat down at the table that twigs had used earlier in the evening, twigs had felt it would be interesting to watch the two unskilled losers go head-to-head so he joined the table as a spectator as well.

The match was an intense one, at the beginning Hobbs had made a misplay by placing his bishop in a compromising position, being under the impression that he was putting Void's king in check. But it was Void's queen he was putting in check instead so the bishop was swiftly gobbled up. Hobbs was loudly cursing "NO NOT DIAGONAL MAN." as this happened. After this kerfuffle defensive lines were set up and skirmished were had on the board between the two Vegasians. On many occasions twigs had facepalmed before muttering "so many holes..." to himself as he got frustrated by the amount of misplays put on display by the two chess novices.

Hobbs had appeared to be making a comeback through a succession of moves which had twigs nodding his head in approval but the match ended rather suddenly when Hobbs had put his queen too far forward, realising shortly after he had done so that it could now be killed by Void. Void was moving his hand towards his own diagonal man to strike the vulnerable queen when Hobbs went berserk and violently flipped over the table, scattering the chess pieces all over the floow. "VOID I RESIGN, YOU TREACHEROUS BUFFOON" he shouted before turning to walk off.

Before he could walk out of the casino however Void's hands were already in the Summerlin Captain's pockets to take his due for the win, which Hobbs and his grand-armee of guards had immediately noticed. Hobbs turned around and looked at Void with hate-filled eyes. A violent scuffle followed.

Jul 08, 20:44:41

Hobbs caught up to you and beat you down. They took $1,029 back. As they walk away they say, "gonna beat the migraine out your skull. FOR DIAGONAL MAN".

It had been a wild night at "Vegas Only" for Void.