It was business as usual in the gambling capital of Las Vegas and preparations were beginning to get underway for the up-and-coming celebrations. Huge parties were being planned and invitations were being sent out to the people across the six cities. It was a lot of work and most of all, it was going to be very expensive. Decorations, musical bands, the organ grinder with his Monkey Abu too. There would be food from all around the world and more. Let's not forget to mention enough champagne and cocktails for everyone to drink. 

However, The leaders of Las Vegas and their hands had decided they also wanted to throw a little event as a warm-up to the celebrations to come. They sat in a meeting room at The Forest, as they tried to brainstorm ideas. Nearly all of them had ideas to throw in for suggestions of what they could do. All of them except Hobbs, who was not paying any attention at all. He was way too busy in his dreamy world looking out of the window, overlooking the wonderful greenery of the woodlands and its birds. He was so preoccupied that he did not hear his 'king' shout.

"AHEM!," Giorgio-Esposito said out as loudly as he could, as he rolled up a piece of paper into a ball and lobbed it at him to get his attention, missing him by just an inch. "You missed!" Don twigs laughed, as he tried to do the same. He too missed his shot, as the paper ball hit the wall and bounced back to land by Treebeard's feet. "Noob" Treebeard snapped, as he picked it up to try also. He threw it too far and fast that it flew out of the window. Hobbs then turned abruptly around, "What the hell?" he blurted out, whilst looking confused.  "Stay still please!" Daiquiri said with a little bit of a smirk on her face, as she rolled up a new paper ball and threw it at him. Hobbs ducked "HA!" he yelled back towards her just as Climax threw hers, "Success!" she shouted with absolute joy. "Well, that was fun, if only he didn't move for my throw!" Daiquiri said as they all went back to sitting at the table to get back on with their meeting. 

Barely a minute went by when Giorgio-Esposito stood back up. "And that's the meeting over. Hobbs in stocks. Sort it out Daiquiri!" he said with a smile as he tipped his hat and bid a good day to all in the room as he went on his way. The others stood up, "Enlist Void to help you" twigs said to Daiquiri as he too wished everyone a good day and left with them. Hobbs just sat, rocking on his chair, slightly confused, but still, he loved the city and he sure loved his king Don. He wouldn't let them down.

Later that day, Daiquiri made her way to the streets with Void, where she had arranged a stage to be erected in the town square. At that stage were a medieval-style stock to place Hobbs in and stalls giving out refreshments. She could see crowds gathering as she stepped up onto the stage to begin to speak. 

"Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to a fun occasion. Today a 'volunteer' from the city of Las Vegas, by the name of Don Hobbs, will be placed in those stocks over there..." she pointed at the stocks, as she continued to talk. "He is not here to be punished. Well, at least, not by Las Vegas! He is here to entertain you! If you wish to participate you can buy 3 ripen fruits from Void. Just throw 3 cents into his top hat and he will provide you with the squishy fruits!" she paused again only this time to point to Void, as he took off his top hat to turn and spun upside down. He was dressed in a true gentleman fashion for the occasion, top hat and tails. Anyone would've thought he was either about to get married or was some swanky magician about to perform tricks. "Oh, before I go off this stage, to let you all enjoy the fun, there are refreshments on offer too, in the way of free food and drinks. Free balloons for all 'children' who come also! All courtesy of Las Vegas. It is now time to welcome Don Hobbs to the Stocks!" She finished up saying before placing up a sign board next to Void and exiting the stage.

- Hobbs In Stocks -

Lob At Hobbs. 

3 Ripen Fruits = 3 Cents 

Please Throw Coins Into Void's Top Hat!

Please Form An Orderly Queue. 

Disclaimer: No Pears Will Be Used!

---

Free Refreshments For All

Free Balloons For Children

When Void was initially given the rundown of his assignment/role at the 'Hobbs in Stocks' expose by Daiquiri he was rather nervous about it. Surely Hobbs would not like Void's involvement in this affair and this would probably earn Void a couple of new insults to be hurled at his person.

Flashbacks to previous insults shouted at him by Hobbs came to mind such as 'sympathiser', 'man lady beast hybrid', 'peace pervert', 'potato', and perhaps worst of all was one of the more recent lines from the Hobshite that Void had overheard when dining in the halls of "Vegas Only": 'I've had shits in the 12th street toilets with more style and personality than Void'.

But, knowing that this was for an event leading up to the upcoming festivities in light of a very important event Void was determined to put his fear for his arch-fremesis aside and showed up dressed ceremoniously. He could only Hope that the beating he'd be likely to receive from Hobbs later for this display wouldn't be too harsh.

With a cart full of the ripest fruit he could find at the local market he arrived at the stocks. Ripe peaches, pugnent raspberries to throw a handfull of at once, mellons for the basketballers and even the cheeky banana here and there could be found in the richly stocked cart.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Get your throwable fruits here for the low low price of a cent a pop (3 items minimum)! There is not many occasions where one is able to get a free chuck at the Prince of Summerlin! Don't be a jobber, throw a fruit at the Hobber!"

Void started juggling a triplet of oranges (a trick he practised this morning especially for the occasion) whilst calling out to the now slowly gathering crowd.

"You there, BBB, are you not interested in a toss at the Hobgoblin? Remember the beautiful office of the Better Baskerville Bureau? What about you Headcoach, how about a melon to dunk in light of the recently admitted accounts of shaming you? MikeTyson, surely your appetite for a toss must be immense after the 21 million big-boys mugging incident, may I suggest the humble lemon?"

"Remember people, this is a rare opportunity! We cannot guarantee how long we can keep him tamed and compliant in the stocks!"

It was a different view of the World from this angle. Sure, had Hobbs spent some time before bent over in a compromised position with his ass sticking out in the air? Yes. Did he like it? Yes. But that was back when he was on friendlier terms with the denizens of 12th Street Toilet. Now he was a changed man, and banned from the general area. Since then he'd become a respected man. A man of pinstriped suits and fedoras. How had it come to this? He felt like he'd been set up but as he wasn't paying attention properly he just nodded his head in agreement as if it was all part of the plan.

It definitely wasn't part of the plan.

He looked around for Void waiting for him to release him from the stocks and take his place. It's what a true friend would do, and Void was surely a true friend to Hobbs especially after Hobbs saved Void's life from a dangerous fire that he had started5. 

Timing wise this couldn't be worse. The streets were full of violent activity with people needing no encouragement to beat each other. He reviewed the board and the price on display and frowned. Was that all he was worth?

"3 cents is ridiculously cheap. If you made it more like $3 million you'd raise much more money, and there'd be way less food wasted by throwing it at me. There's people over in merry old England eating spam out of cans with dried cabbage and you're here wasting food.

Void, increase the price for me will ya? When you get 5 minutes spare can you also scratch my nose?"

Hobbs sighed. He hoped his shift would be over soon so they could get Gnoch over here for his turn. Gnochs in stocks on a box with socks.

Hobbs paused hearing what Void was shouting. What was that 'Peace Pervert' up to? This wasn't peaceful. This war horrific and violent, the very opposite.

"Void...? Void? Those potatoes better not be yellow" he shouted in a mixture of disgust and alarm.

He was the Prince of Summerlin. Pride of Las Vegas.

This would not do at all.

The smartly dressed man was wandering his way though the streets. He was tired but content. He had be up all all night preparing for his own celebrations. They were own small compared to what was to come from LV. HeadCoach has finally decided to make him a full time member of the squad. The hazing process had been quite tricky to get through but he got by. He spotted an interesting sight as he turned the corner. He saw Void prancing around collecting money in a hat. Well he thought it was Void. Who knew anymore. There seemed to be many allegations of hired actors and body doubles. Perhaps Void never really made it out of that fire. Perhaps Hobbs constantly mentioned Void due to his crippling guild in causing the death of the only man he truly called a friend. Or Perhaps the stylish gentlemen was just feeling a bit philosophical after the heavy night of hazing. He would never eat rhubarb again.  

He watched as countless people hurled fruits at Hobbs at an event arranged by his own city. He made a note in his book just in case he ever needed to provide conclusive proof of LVs spilt opinions on Hobbs view. He chuckled to himself, and they call us barbaric. He approached the man that appeared to be Void. 

"I suppose I better partake, I cant really give up the opportunity of a life time".

He paid he fee and pick up his fruits. One by one her hurled them accurately at the face of Hobbs. He took it in the face like a champ. However, it did not fill the eloquently dressed man with joy or happiness. Maybe he had become accustomed to the cheering crowds and never-ending monologues. He looked into the eyes of the man who man had allowed him to become who he was. Even after all the hate and shouting Hobbs endured and without Hobbs there was no BBB. He walked up and hand fed Hobbs a HobNob and patted him on the head. He gave his nose a scratch as Hobbs tried to bite him.

"I will see you around Hobbs"

He turned to Daiquiri 

"Any chance I could have some of the scraps for the goats" 

He gestured to the goats who had now surrounded Hobbs and were eating the wasted food. One was rather delicately licking Hobbs on the face.  

Could this day get any better? Iron Mike had already smashed Dmitry into lumpy porridge & given HeadCoach a beat down a less girthy man wouldn't have survived yet here is the real cherry on the cake. Iron Mikes favourite worst nightmare Princess Hobbs in stocks.

He listens to Hobbs sorely abused sidekick Void mention the mugging incident. A grimace crosses his face.

Little do these guyth know the mugging incident is just the tip of the iceberg of Iron Mikes financial losses related to Hobbs. It had been a normal Friday night when Hobbs had approached Iron Mike with a proposition. 'Look Mike, while you are undoubtably the better athlete & most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment but Ol Hobbs is the number 2 VIP poster in these parts. Between us we already own a shit ton of lottery tickets. We can buy this pot & split it easy peasy man.'

Now Iron Mike doesn't do calculating probablilites or any of that weasely geekth shit but he likes free money. A temporary truce was called with Hobbs & an additional $10 million of lottery tickets purchased. Iron Mike went to sleep dreaming of all the creatine, HGH & who-errth which he would spend his winnings on. He may even splash out & add changing rooms to 'Iron Mikes Muscle Maker' the possibilities were endlethth.

Needless to say when Iron Mike awoke and read the news serial drunkard Salvatore-Lucchese had won the lottery prize of $51 million with a measely 1% of the tickets in the draw, his piss boiled. He had called Hobbs at his 3 star at best motel to find out what maths geekery had worked against them but had been given the cold shoulder. 'Hobbs isn't available sir' was the response from some peon on reception duties. "WE HAD 50% OF THE THUCKING TICKETTH" screamed Iron Mike into the phone before smashing it into pieces. 

Well now Mike knew why Hobbs had been indisposed. He was in the stocks. The right thucking place for him with his madcap schemes. 

"Give me all the lemonth you have Void...I have deep pocketth."

   The sights and sounds of the strip were always exciting for Dimilazzo.  There seemed to be a real buzz on the street.  More people were wondering around than normal.  He had come out to Vegas along with BBB and Mike Tyson to help bring back some product and to help ensure  basketball was still being played despite the asinine efforts of some.  As Dimilazzo slowly wandered down the strip, something caught his eye.  He could make out a platform and someone actually in stocks.  It was Hobbs.  This had to be a joke.  Dimilazzo rubbed his eyes to make sure they were not playing tricks on him.  Sure enough it was Hobbs in stocks.   Dimilazzo watched as Mike Tyson filled his pockets with lemons and took aim at Hobbs.  Based on the velocity and accuracy with which those lemons struck Hobbs, Mike could have been a pitcher for the Brookyln dodgers.   Dimilazzo wandered over to a nearby vendor and bought a bag of apples.  Time to make some fruit salad.  As he stepped back towards the platform, he uttered a phrase he was sure Hobbs had heard many times before  “brace yourself Hobbs”.  While Dimilazzo did not have the same velocity as Mike Tyson,  he still managed to hit Hobbs with several of the apples.  One of them aimed at his ass, seemed to have struck it’s target and disappeared.

"I would like to throw things at Hobbs," HeadCoach announced.

He stood in a power stance, looking like a rock formation after a landslide. He was limbered up, prepared, ready to exert every last reserve of his strength today, at this blessed place. It would be a different experience for him, holding fruit but not eating it. That alone would take a force of will previously untested. He was confident that he would manage, knowing the prize that lay in wait for him; the humiliation of one of his greatest foes. 

"Where is Void? Where do I toss these pennies? I've pickpocketed that man so many times, it's basically his money coming back to him anyway."

Jun 20, 17:19:44    You caught up with Hobbs, beat them within an inch of their life, and took $9,389 You also stole their gun.
Jun 20, 17:19:27    Hobbs tried to PICKPOCKET you.

"Did I get started too early? I haven't even paid anyone yet. Those long, creepy Slenderman fingers nearly found their way into my pockets all the way from the stocks. Nice try, ding dong. I've got nine-thousand bucks more to use on fruit now."

Hobbs couldn't understand why the people kept coming. Well. He could understand why those meatheads in Detroit would come, he could only hope their fruit throwing aim was as bad as their three point game. Void had clearly gone temporarily deaf and was thus far not helping to stop the barrage of fruit. It left the only real possibility of saviour coming from a last minute reprieve from King Giorgio-Esposito, or an outside chance of resident very nice, very evil Illuminatiated making the save.

Hobbs stared up at Mike and pleaded.

"When life gives you lemons. Make Lemonade. Right, Mike? ...Mike? MAKE LEMONADE?"

Hobbs only hoped there was a modicum of decency in the barbaric ear biting, pigeon chested midget bastard. In his heart and his soul he knew there wasn't. Mike was clearly allowing the tension to build, and whilst he waited a wannabe chef arrived on the scene to hurl apples.

"Is this because I said I had no bulbs of garlic?" I shouted as the apples hit home. "I used a bulb of light! That's the same thi... mother fucker." he squealed like Gnoch on prom night when the apple found it's mark.

A gentle reprieve before the ground began to shake announcing the arrival of 'The Big Easy' Headcoach.  Headcoach kept rubbing his belly like a bowlful of jelly. Whilst he was distracted Hobbs went for the grab and failed, and some how lost his gun in the process.

"How did you get that? I keep it in my Prison Wallet. I wouldn't use that if I were you..."

Void had been absent for a while, today was a big day and he had been busy helping out with the administration of the planned festivities. After his busy day he quickly dressed up in his costume again and rushed back to the scene.

Seeing the crowd get such joy out of hucking fruit at Hobbs Void could not help getting melancholic feelings. On the one hand the crowd was obviously getting a kick out of this (and this appeared to have been a nice ante for the festivities to come), but on the other his frenemy must surely be having a hard time enduring the overdose of vitamin C.

"Hobbs I know that right now the situation might not look as sweet as the fruit that's being thrown at you, that one might wonder when the fruit pelting will finally stop. But though I will not release you from the stocks just yet brother, know that it will be you who gets the last throw before this is over. Also the price is staying a cent a pop."

Turning to MikeTyson after hearing his tragic recounting of the failed lottery swindle Void couldn't help feeling sympathetic here either.

"Mike though the lottery may have been a bad investment, these lemons surely won't be. Though Vegas is known for its many gambling opportunities, this bet is luck free and only relies on your own skill at throwing your loyal sidekick the lemon. As a token of sympathy for your sad lottery tale here's some lemons on the house."

Void covered his head as he had loose change thrown at his cranium, turning around he saw Headcoach digging into the fruit cart testing if he could dribble a melon. Several melons had already splattered on the floor after proving to be insufficiently bouncy.

"Headcoach the change is supposed to be going into the hat!" Void pointed at the tophat on the floor which was slowly filling up with change. "Though you are correct in saying that the pennies which assaulted me just now have probably been mine before, I would like to remind you that only yesterday I managed to get my mitts into your sandwich-stuffed pockets without getting my ass beat!"

Finally turning to Hobbs again Void yelled once more "Endure Hobbs! It shall be your turn to do the tossing soon enough!"

Void picked up some leftover lemons and started juggling them again while proceeding to yell out more sales pitches for the throwable fruits.

One of the things that made Daiquiri the happiest was seeing people enjoy themselves and for sure they seemed to be at the 'Hobbs In Stocks' event. Crowds were coming by the dozen and the top hat, that belonged Void was over flowing with lots and lots of coins. She just could not understand it at all. The food stands with refreshments for anyone and everybody was beginning to go off, no one was eating. Yet it was all free. People seemed to want to just buy the food they could throw instead.

She witnessed earlier BBB and his goats had visited and was kind enough to help with keeping the stage and Hobbs somewhat clean. After all no one wanted the nasty flies to start buzzing around. "That was nice of you Sir!" Daiquiri mentioned to him, as himself and his four legged friends were leaving. He stopped her for a moment and whispered in her ear, "Here is some extra cash, throw some more fruit for me please!" he said to her. Daiquiri nodded in agreeance as she made her way towards Void. She threw BBB's money into the top hat and told Void to let some people have some extra fruit, on behalf of BBB.

She could not believe how full the hat was getting with all the coins that people were throwing into it. "I will have to get some of this to the bank soon Void, This event is a huge success, wouldn't you say so?" she asked him, whilst looking over in Hobbs direction. She kinda felt sorry for Hobbs. With a little more sympathy each time someone took their go. "Bless him, he has no idea what a great service he is doing for Las vegas" She chuckled as she continued to chat with Void. 

She got the 'throwing of fruit' paused for a few moments to walk over to Hobbs, "You look like a giant fruit salad" she mocked at him, trying her hardest not to laugh. She couldn't tell if he really was smiling or was it the way some of the fruit was lodged in the corners of his mouth. He just looked up at her like trying hard to use his eyes to communicate. She turned to face the crowds of people waiting patiently to throw more.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are taking a short break for maintenance, please help yourself to some refreshments in the meantime or get your fruit ready!" she shouted to the crowds.

She had arranged a couple of locals to hold up a huge sheet to shield Hobbs and to let him out of the stocks temporarily to get cleaned up and hosed down until he was fresh as a daisy and no longer looking like a smoothie that had gone wrong. He got dressed into some clean clothing. "You are being a real sport doing this," Daiquiri told him as she handed him a large glass of whiskey, "Have this, drink up now" she insisted, rushing him as he did. He was about to speak to her, he had things to say to her, when she noticed the time. "Oops we are almost late, to get this show back on the road!" she blurted as she nodded to the assistants to help get him back into the stocks. "But but but" Hobbs tried to mutter to her, but it was too late, the crowds have been summoned back.

"Attention, please. Sorry for the delay. Hobbs is back in Stocks!" She shouted as she moved away from the line of fire to allow the games to begin again. 

She made her way back to where Void was standing and looked in the direction of the food stand, with all its hotdogs, hamburgers and more just sitting there going to waste. There was even the Ice-cream and Jelly on offer. All of a sudden it was like a a light bulb had lit above her head, as she leant into Void and whispered "All that wasted food over there. What say you, in a short while start a food fight amongst the people?" She giggles as if she was then the little devil on his shoulder. "When the fruit is almost gone?" he whispered back to her. She nodded "Yes, then let Hobbs have some fun too, let him loose. Don't forget to yell 'FOOD FIGHT' when you do" she replied. Void grinned, as Daiquiri just knew he would be the perfect man for the job.

She emptied the coins from his top hat into her handbag as she then made her way to the bank.

Void had arrived back at the scene of the fruit flicking after yesterday's party in light of the newly ascended Godfathers/Godmothers, one could easily spot that Void had difficulty walking in a straight line. Seeing how the lobbing of vitamin-C had died down Void figured it was time to take up Daiquiri on her suggestion. First however he had some business to settle.

He stumbled towards Hobbs in the stocks and released the fruit-covered fiend, still keeping a firm hold on his arm. "Now, Hobbs! Yesterday... there was an incident... I think! Ashyou were gettin hosed during the ... intermission you tried to take our hard earned pennies STRAIGHT outta the hat".

"But no Hobbs! *hick* We bothe knew that would NOT do. You ffuck with the bull... you get the... the hornets!" Void yelled slurring his words. One may wonder just how strong Treebeard had made those cocktails last night, however much it was, the lanky Void clearly hadn't been able to hold his liquor as well as most.

"Now Hobbz, assan old friend of mine from thiz way of life used to say ... 'a fair days pay for a fair dayz work'." Void set down a tightly packed briefcase in front of Hobbs. "For being a goodssport in this here... event."

The crowd present was baffled at this bizarre display, but what happened next was perhaps even more puzzling. Void grabbed the last remaining piece of fruit from the cart, a massive watermelon and after almost falling flat on his face he loaded it into Hobbs' arms.

"Now hobbz! Issaid before that you wood get the lazt throw..." Void proceeded to stumble his way into the stocks, before having it be clicked shut by Daiquiri. "Now! Smash that watermellon STRAIGHT onto my... my head. Juzt please try not to knock me out cold. And yell FOOD FIGHT for me will ya? I don't have the strenght in me right now..."

Void turned to the people still left in the crowd and half-consciously shouted "YOU LOT. ASSOON AS THE WATERMELON HITZ ME HEAD. YOU CAN USE THE REMAINING... FOODSTUFFSIN THAT THERE SSTAND FOR A FREE FOR ALL."

Void had to give it his all to remain conscious as he awaited his baptism by watermelon.

It took Hobbs a really, really long time to realise he was free from the stocks. He had done his time proudly without any real complaint and had survived mostly intact except for his now ruined reputation as as serious Mafiosa. What's more, his best friend and nemesis Void was now inside the stocks, looking more vulnerable than ever. It seemed he'd decided to bulk up for the occasion and his usual retinue of 10-12 slightly built men had swelled to the realms of 200 slightly built men.

"How do you work for a guy like that? Oh.. because he likes Peace you'll think he will be a soft mark? An easy source of revenue? You'd be right, and I respect that. I respect that a lot."

Hobbs stood up and stretched. Being in the stock was painful business but now he was free. FREE.

He looked at the assembled mass of rotten fruits, and noted the watermelon he was supposed to use first. 

"I think I'll use that last. I think I'll start with this conveniently arrived pile of fresh potatoes first, and move onto the turnips after..." 

Hobbs turned to his bodyguards, his paid friends, and lined them all up to throw.

"Aim for his face, boys. Try and break his teeth the same way he tried to break my spirit."

Daiquiri was still making her wayhome when a small lad ran past her, shouting at the top of his lungs "Hobbs got Void in stocks!" he yelled. She stopped in her tracks and turned right around to make her way back to streets. Upon arriving there she could not believe what her eyes or ears could see or hear, as she saw Hobbs tell the crouds to break Void teeth. "I am shocked!" Daiquiri yelled towards Hobbs as she witnessed his face go from utter joy to utter 'Oh shit!' as he spotted her. Right away Hobbs was no longer banging on his chest as if he was Tarzan in the jungle. Right away he tried to look at her and tried to put on his charm. He failed.

As Daiquiri summoned for Void to be released from stocks, luckily with all his teeth still placed, she got two of her biggest guards of almost seven feet tall to scoop up the shorter Hobbs and put him back in the stocks. "It was meant to be a happy occasion here Hobbs, you had to go ruin it. You were let out to have some fun with a massive food fight. You have failed me again. For this you can spend twenty-four more hours here..." she told Hobbs, she was about to tell him she wasn't mad and just a bit disappointed, but felt she had said it many times to him before. In her head, she could hear Treebeard ushering the word 'noob' at people. In fact, with that in mind, she decided to go with that, "Hobbs you noob!" she said as she walked away from him to get to the centre of the stage to talk to the crowds.

"Ladies and gentlemen. For twenty-four hours longer, we will continue to hold this event. Only this time he did not volunteer, this time we will not be charging people for the fruit to throw, this time it's all free! So I leave it to you..." She looked around at the mass of people before she yelled,

"Hobbs Is Back In Stocks!"

She made her way off the stage and towards a shaken-up Void and handed him her flask. "Drink up all the Whiskey lad, you got fruit to hand out and anything else you can get hold of, the only rule is it must be food!" she said to him as she again tried to make her way back home.

Word had quickly spread to Detroit that the villainous swine and all round quite nice guy Hobbs was back in the stocks. Of course this wasn't something that could be missed. He appeared on the scene quickly after Hobbs had been placed inside the stocks AGAIN. He approached Void. 

"Hi Void, I see you are back handling things. You must be getting a little bored of it now. Ohh I have some something for you and Daiquiri."

He gestures to some of his bodyguards and they begin carrying large bags over and placing them down in front of Void.

"So these ones"  he says pointing at the first five.

"These are for Daiquiri, they are special goat treats, I import them to give to my goats, it keeps them in tip top condition. These other five" he says point at the next few bags. "This is special bird seed, We robbed a pet store the other day and I thought you could use it for Hobber, I know he is fussy but its good stuff. 

"Now friend" he said patting Void on the shoulder. I believe you have a an offering of some whacking fish to be used. Void pulls out his large trout and also a seabass. 

Void smiles and says

With a trout, slap 'em on the snout

With a bass, kick their ass

The smartly dressed gentleman picks up the two fish and wanders over to Hobbs. 

"Ok Hobbs, this is going to hurt me, more than it hurts you"

The smartly dressed man proceeds to use the fish as instructed by Void. He finishes and returns the items to Void. 

"Thank you Void, I enjoyed that. Enjoy the gifts. Bye Hobbs, see you when you get out". 

He mounted his goat cart, whipped up the goats and headed off across the city in search of his hopes and dreams. 

The word had worked its way back to Iron Mike that Hobbs had once again ended up in the stocks. 'Best place for the bathtard thavage' had been Iron Mikes response. He was much too busy collecting the winnings from his SUCCESSFUL horse racing bets to get over to Vegas to throw fruit at his fremesith. He makes a note to send friend Daiquiri a case of his new 'Thupreme Formula Sports Recovery Shake' as a thank you and well done for finally dealing with Hobbs in the harsh way he deserves for his thhenaniganth. 

Void was not amused by Hobbs' refusal to give him the baptism-by-watermelon that he had so deserved. Even worse still was that Hobbs had thought it OK to get his grand-armee of bodyguards to act as an artillery battery with potatoes for ammunition. But worst of all by far was that Hobbs had even suggested to throw turnips next at the poor Void knowing FULL WELL that Void was allergic to the menacing roots.

Void had felt a great sense of relief when Daiquiri had come to rescue him. She had known just the medicine he required to get his senses back in order after drinking a few too many cocktails, more booze. "Lady Dai! My guardian angel in times of need." Void made a bow so deep that he nearly slumped over.

His confidence bolstered by the influx of even more alcohol into his bloodstream Void stumbled back to the food-cart and started handing out random edible items for throwing to the once-more gathering crowd. He looked over his shoulder back at Hobbs. "You know... Hobbs! I gave you a GOLDEN opportuntiy but you... you just wouldn't take it." Turning to BBB and almost falling over he handed the lad the fish.

To several other bystanders he handed some of the potatoes that Hobbs had brought in. He saw MikeTyson standing across the street. "Mike, buddy, pal, frequent assailant, bringer of beatings. What's it you want for the final throw at... at Hobbs here eh? eh? May I perhaps suggest the watermelon that Hobbs left untouched? This way the fruit that the mobster refused may become the head-fruit of the pelting."

Daiquiri had awoken early and decided to try some of the 'Supreme Forumula Sports Recovery Shake' that was gifted to her by MikeTyson. She was midway drinking the shake when she realised she has made an awful error. "Oh no!" she blurted out as she accidently dropped what was left of the shake. She had no time to clean it up and bolted off towards the streets. She had forgotton Hobbs was still in stocks and that he shoud've been out of them on the 4th of July. "Surely Void or someone of got him out?" she mumbled as she continued to run towards the location of the stocks. 

She got there in no time at all. She looked at her watch and noticed she got there in double quick time, "Just what is in the MikeTyson shakes?" she said so cheerfully at Void, who wasn't looking very fresh at all, She could see he was trying to talk to Mike too, Daiquiri smiled at the gentleman. "I know I know, you been here a while and you need some rest Void, my bad. Why not send a note to remind me of this stuff?" she continued to say to him as she made her way over to a slightly bruised Hobbs. 

"Hey there Hobbs! Lets get you out and send you home for a clean-up?" Daiquiri said to him as she tried so hard not to let on just how much he stank of rotton food and fish, "Where did they get the..." she went on to say, as she stopped herself, she didn't want to know where the fish came from or from whom. "Oh yes, I must send a thanks to BBB for the goat feed. Awfully nice of him, wouldn't you say Hobbs?" she spoke further as she nodded to her tall guards to get Hobbs out of the stocks. "Please see he is cleaned up and taken care of please" she asked them as she backed away from the stocks. 

Hobbs watched from the sidelines as his hired actor doppleganger was pelted with fruit. He'd opted for the tried and tested fake moustache and glasses combo as a disguise and finished it off with a long trench coat. Nobody had suspected a thing which did give Hobbs the philosophical dilemma of how he was perceived as a person if A) People wanted to put him in the stocks and B) People didn't notice it wasn't actually him in there. Was he nought but an invisible speck of dust in the eyes of these people?

As he was pondering his life existence a rogue apple rolled towards his feet. He flicked it up and caught it before taking a bite. He then spat it out immediately in disgust. He thought of the old adage; 'What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Half a maggot.' Shaking his head he frowned. That was disgusting but no less than he could expect from a Pervert like Void who couldn't organise an Organised Crime in... an Organised Crime factory. Hobbs doubted his ability to even pull off a successful post office robbery without spilling the proverbial spaghetti everywhere.

The poor 'Hobbleganger' was taking a beating. Hobbs winced as rotten fish sourced from the hands of a gorilla like Headcoach reigned down on the poor guy. Fish guts and blood went everywhere. Some random goats appeared. Mike came for a nibble on the old earlobe, a tactic he normally only saved for the bedroom chamber these days. 

His frenemy was gesticulating wildly with a watermelon. "Drop it, drop it, drop it Hobbs chanted to himself hoping Void's weak arms would not be able to hold it up and it'd fall on his own head. That did not happen. Daiquiri finally came by to release the fake Hobbs. Real Hobbs (me) and his 180-200 friends got ready to spring into action. They were armed with potatoes and turnips and would wait for the right time before beginning the bombardment. 

As Daiquiri walked towards Hobbs in stocks to get him released, she noticed something strange. He looked somewhat more solid of a man, his arms were not so thin as if they were noodles. His chin was more masculine in shape. Hell, even his eye colour seemed to be slightly different. She couldn't figure it out at first and her sole intention was to release Hobbs. She went up to him to speak "I am so sorry it took a bit longer, I will make it up to you Hobbs" she said as she went to remove a bit of lettuce from his hair and as she did a whole lump of hair came with it. She gasped as she realised she was holding a wig.. the hair fibres sure didn't feel 'human-like' either. As she looked at Hobbs more she realised he was sporting a bit of a fake nose, she pulled that off too. Shock, distress and horror all at once these emotions washed through Daiquiri as she cried out "Oh my god it's not Hobbs its Gnoch in disguise!".

For a few brief moments, for what felt an eternity, everyone and everything went silent. Daiquiri's mind was racing with all the 'How' questions possible and as the shock started to disappear she asked Gnoch a simple question, "Why you?" she asked him. He responded that Hobbs has requested his assistance and with Gnoch being him, he didn't question with what. "I was promised he would not go after my pot of gold," Gnoch said blurting out as Daiquiri got him out of the stocks. "I am really sorry for this trauma, why did you not say anything to anyone?" she asked in response, to be told its very hard to speak whilst being pelted with food. He was looking a bit bruised up. "You will be taken care of" she promised Gnoch as she summoned for a few of her guards to get him taken to a local bath house "Get him the finest bubble bath and a bottle of bubbly, he deserve a lot of pampering," she said as she witnessed Gnoch get carried off.

She walked over to Void, "How did you not notice it wasn't the real Hobbs?" she snapped at him. "In my defense, he didn't speak!" Void responded fast. She could see his point. You could easily miss Hobbs in a crowd unless he spoke, he was just that type of guy.

"Well here we are, Hobbs played us for fools.. Guess we are playing a new game now Void." she finished up saying as Voids and her guards began to gather around to make a plan of action. 

Whilst they carried on with their meeting Daiquiri had a sign place up.

WANTED ALIVE:

HOBBS

REWARD:

1 Million

Please locate and put him in the stocks and contact Don Daiquiri