WIN A SITDOWN!

We all know what it's like!  You really hate someone, you boil with resentment.  You can't shoot them, let alone lead an underground group to kill dozens of their members.

You want to drag their ass into a sit-down, and say your piece, but the miscreant's upper structure just won't grant it!

WELL SAY GOODBYE TO FRUSTRATION AND SAY HELLO TO SIT-DOWN SATISFACTION!

We are offering YOU the CHANCE to win a SIT-DOWN with the enemy of your choice!

HOW IT WORKS

Simply nominate the person you want to see compelled to justify themselves in a sit-down, give a good reason, and we will do the rest.

Yes, if you give a good, compelling reason for someone to attend a sit-down we will arrange that sit-down!

AND THAT'S NOT ALL!

And that IS NOT ALL!  We will also give the nominator of the sit-down a HUGE CASH PRIZE!

We've got $9m in prizes so far!

so get NOMINATING!

I'm going to request a sit down with quiet because we're mortal enemies and I might have stolen her olive trees and spanakopita. 

Standing at the back of the crowd, Valinor listened as Doctor_Melfi delivered his pitch. He wasn't quite sure if it was a competition, a paid meetup, or a combination of the both designed to snub out conflicts, and maybe even deepen the anger amongst some competitors. 

He smiled to himself as the idea grew on him more and more. He waited for Doctor_Melfi to finish his speech.

"What an absolutely excellent Idea."

Reaching into his jacket pocket Valinor pulled out a piece of paper and wrote "two million" on it and handed it over to the Doctor.

"Find me after you're done here and I'll send you another couple million to add to the prize pool or to just help pay for the trauma of the competitors. This should be exciting."

Yes hello ma'am. I'd request a sit down with my greatgrandma. I reckon she didn't raise me right.

Hands over the note his Mee'maw that says poi'ple gave him.

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A turn on his heel 

Skett'inn shield from perception

TimesGonePastFowlBall

I would like to make something clear: I do not hate anyone, ESPECIALLY not Hobbs. I love Hobbs. There is no proof on this planet that I do not like Hobbs and, unless a transcript were to be presented otherwise, that will remain an unequivocal fact. Like GuybrushThreepwood yearns for the hearty yo-ho-ho's of the sea, I simp for Summerlin. But I feel a tension growing. A misunderstanding. A cold shoulder here, a bit of gossip there. A barbed look, a splash of wine spilled on his fishnet shirt.In order to prove our friendship is true and dispel any doubt in the minds of Hobbs and the world at large, I wish for a sit-down with the man himself. 

"Stan S Stanman? Is that your actual name? Let guess... The stands for Stan as well? That is blatantly the most ridiculous name since Haywood Eggleston, and I should actually be awarded compensation and a sit-down for just having to speak to you. In fact, the only way this sit down happens if we are on separate sides of a cubicle wall and communicate through a glorious hole in the middle.

Please let me know if this works for you."

"I for one would be a staunch supporter of this verbal beatdown sitdown between Hobbs and Stan_S_Stanman."

"We have all seen Hobbs face off countless times against the mafia-basketball athletes (god rest their beautiful souls), but a yo-ho pirate cabal is a first."

"Speaking of that, my pet parrot Carrot has taken great interest in this recent emergence of mateys and has recently started screaming 'AHOY MATEYS' at me just before assaulting me with his sharp claws as he does every so often on a whim. Not even my usual method of sating his rage with peanuts is working anymore."

Barney hears the words magically spoken on the Streets summoning him. He magically appears out of thin air next to Doctor_Melfi. An entrance that would shock and delight may. He bows to the crowd gathered around. With arms wide and raised, he greets them.

"Hey kids! I'm here by your imagination! You might want a sitdown with me, but I'm here to make my own nomination."

He reaches behind him and pulls out a gigantic poster board. 

"Here it is! Let's read it out loud together, kids. Barney picks TheMorrigan. She didn't believe in the dinosaur. She didn't even respond to my mail. We need to teach her how to dream in pure imagination. Procrastination won't get you anywhere!" 

Hobbs noted the arrival of Void.

"Void, my friend. It's great to see you out and about again. I had feared that you'd entered a period of quiet contemplative peace perverted mourning over the death of your friends in the Mafia Basketball capital of the world. It is of course no secret that your final conversation with Skidmark you were discussing your hoop prowess, even boasting that you'd recently acquired your 64th hoop unit whilst out in Detroit visiting the local landmarks. I'm proud of you for coming out here today a refreshed and revitalised man. 

As for your parrot? I'm convinced he's a demonic entity and must be put down.. possibly with a nice rosemary and red wine jus"

Picking his head up from the trough full of slops left by TheMorrigan he continued smacking his lips while sizing up the purple dinosaur.

"I'm sorry you felt like the supreme scrapleader ignored you, I can assure you it wasn't intentional, or maybe it was because she already has an animal to take care of.. that's right, this pig here! I require all the attention daily so she probably just was busy feeding me scraps. It's a full time job I assure you."

Hawk belches, causing some bits of trash to fly out of his mouth.

"Oh my excuse me, anyways, it sounds like you weren't cute enough to get her attention. Try being a pig next life and MAYBE you will get that sit down!"

Hiding crouched behind SirHawk, though as small as he was, she wasn't very hidden. Looking over his little shoulder, she opened her mouth. "Is he gone?" she asked, her voice shaking a little and her eyes darting everywhere as she searched for Barney. Crap, he was still there. "I'm uh... erm. I'm s-sorry Barney. I'm just scared of you. You terrified me as a child." She tried to hide even more after finishing her sentence. He was so intimidating, she didn't even listen to the sit down part of it as she quivered behind her trusty pig before darting off to safety.

"I'd like to request a sit down with Doctor_Melfi. I'm in possession of documentation that proves he is in fact not a real doctor, or a real Melfi."

Hobbs heard the gasps of 180-200 friends, associates and bodyguards.

"I'd be keen to understand how he intends to set this right, lest this go down the route of several poorly ran writing competitions of yore."

Barney's permanently crafted smile remains unchanged as SirHawk and TheMorrigan approach the gathering. He is unphased by their statements and instead approaches the magical talking pig. He is careful to approach, as you should with all wild animals, talking or otherwise. Once he is close enough, he turns to the crowd.

"Hey kids! What sound does the pig make?"

He is met with only silence and confused looks.

"Oh, come on. You know it. What sound does the pig make?"

The second attempt elicits some mild oinking from the crowd. 

"That's right! The pig goes oink! Thank you for your help in wrangling TheMorrigan, Mr. Oink Oink. It looks like she has already left after proclaiming her fear of the big purple friend. Would it be alright if I pet you now?"