It had been a long couple of weeks for the Justice system. So many illegal killings had gone down that his office had been plagued with paperwork. Extra hours were needed, more hammer banging than ever before. But it was the work that kept Justice going, he revelled in it. 
Justice allowed himself a well earned break, pushing himself back from his desk, the lamp light throwing shadows against the walls. It was late and his hand hurt from all the signing and land hammer smashing he was having to do. He looked at the gavel, the symbol of his office. It was worn down, a level of measure as to the increasing amount of criminals he was seeing pass through his courts. He had had enough. It was time to do something about this. And he could only think of one solution. 
Gathering his gown around him, he headed to the streets. These criminal scum needed to know that there were consequences for their actions. They needed to fear the hammer of this land hammer nerd. Taking the stage, he began his announcement. 

Ladies and gentlemen, undesirables of this world. Too long have you gone unchecked, allowed to do as you please as law abiding citizens cower in fear. No longer will I stand for this. You have forced my hand. 

With the recent illegal take down of Detroit, I have decided to move my Court there to clear up any wrong doers and send a message to you all. CRIME DOES NOT PAY. My courts will be working overtime to make sure judgment is doled out upon you miscreants. No longer will Hobbs have to fear walking down dark alleys. Detroit will become this countries first crime free zone. 
Having said that, I lost many people I respected recently. They may have been criminals but their work ethic and tenacity certainly inspired admiration from me. In honour of the late HeadCoach and his band of irregular shaped athletes, Detroit will remain a mug at will city. Apart from that, any crimes found to be committed within our city limits will be punished by ThisCharmingMan holding you down whilst SassyPeach performs a lap dance on you. You have been warned. 

Now you may be wondering why someone who has been inactive has decided the city is for them. Well I just got back from holidaying in Barbados with my third wife, Destiny. She spent all my money on postcards to send to a paralegal from her office called Greg. Must have been an important case they were working on. As such I need the extra money and have all the time in the world. And an amazing tan. 

So I say to you citizens, are you sick of looking over your shoulder? Are you tired of hearing blood-curdling screams at night as another 7 day old baby is murdered just for snatching a purse? Do you hate crime but love mugging as it helps bring you closer to the spirit of IronMike? Well come give us a visit in Detroit. 

Directing ThisCharmingMan to hand out little gift bags containing tiny hammers and scales (that are definitely not for weighing drugs), Justice left to go and catch his flight. Lots of work was needed, and there was so little time. A bit of stress he was no stranger to, he smiled at the prospect of dealing a heavy blow to crime. 

Barney listens to Justice's impassioned speech. He nods along with the promises.

"A crime free zone? What a wonderful idea," Barney thought to himself. 

His carefree nature, overly friendly nature, and optimism would fit in nicely. 

"Well said, Justice! I appreciate your words and wish the best for you in this endeavor." 

DLZ pushed past the crowd, he had heard they were giving out gift bags with miniature scales of justice out. After nearly thirty minutes of ducking and diving he finally got to the front and managed to snag himself one. 

"Woohoo" He hollered out loud "I believe in Justice!". DLZ then quickly escaped the crowds and darting into a dark and dingy back alley. 

His neck cocked to the side as his eyes bulged a little too conspicuously. I don't think I heard that right, he thought as his feathers ruffled spraying cayenne pepper and garlic salt on everyone near him. 

It's only a crime if you get caught, or if your a rat, he pondered. The latter being the worst crime he could think of. Soon, Chickenboi's chicken brain began to wander and hopped a train of deep thought. He did afterall reside in Sin City, where anything could be bought or sold and patrons did as they pleased, if they had the money. Regrets were left at the border and not mentioned again. 

But Justice was coming for Detroit, the man said and that made Chickenboi smile. 
"Good for you! GO GO GO", he crowed. "Get those motherpluckers..in Detroit. Way, far away.. in Detroit".

Chickenboi realized the cornstarch he thought he used to keep his wattle from chaffing was actually premium cocaine. His tongue was numb and beak was clicking from side to side uncontrollably. He had no clue what he was saying anymore and needed a massive spliff to take the edge off. 

Hobbs was proud of Justice. He had pivoted from being a fortune teller into a judge who settled celebrity disputes. From then, he'd pivoted into trying to be a real judge. It was a good career move for him, but also contextually very hard to balance with the demands of running his own criminal organisation. He had moved to Detroit to fill the large squashed shoes of Headcoach. So far he was on the right path. As the rumours went Mrs Justice was as loose and feral as Mrs Coach.

As he listened to Justice he became more and more confused. A no crime zone?! How would that even work. Justice had lost his marbles. He clearly wanted all the crime for himself. This could not be allowed to stand. Hobbs made it his mission on this day to commit as many petty crimes as he could muster, which in all honesty would only be something like three due to his impending retirement from the main stage, but that three was still more than the zero that would be mandated by the ban. 

He looked Justice in the eye and handed him a purse and a bundle of dollar bills adding up to $256. She was a rich broad, or had been till the impressive might of Hobbs and his 180-200 friends rolled into town

Success! You grabbed yourself $256.
You found a bobby pin but you have so many you decide that it's not worth keeping.

He didn't tell Justice where the money came from, of course. That would be silly and blatantly breaking the rules was not something Hobbs would do.

"For you, my friend. Consider it a tax I will pay every three minutes and twenty seconds whilst visiting your fine town."

Hobbs had always been an obstinate individual, so it came as no surprise to Justice that he would try to circumvent the crime ban in his city. Fortunately for Hobbs, Justice was too busy trying to root out all the LA gangsters that seemed to love attempting organised crime in his region. The only reason more effort wasn't required was they were so damn bad at organising that they seemed to fail every time. It had nothing to do with the fact he was intentionally sabotaging them whenever they invited him. The purse Hobbs had handed him was heavy. Heavy with the blood of innocents. Heavy with crime. Heavy. So heavy. Justice sighed and realised he would have a challenge on his hands enforcing his new rule. He checked the purse over, noting it's contents. A lot of bills, a picture of a long lost lover. And fuck yeah! A bobby pin! Justice fucking loved bobby pins. The thought of punishing Hobbs left his head as he thought about where he could place this bobby pin in his collection. And boy was it a big collection. His time as a youth from the wrong side of the tracks had left him with hundreds, if not thousands of the things. Maybe he'd make a large scale model train out of them. Or extend them all out to make a long poking stick to annoy Hobbs on the other side of the country. Might need a few more for that though. With tears of happiness in his eyes, he looked up at Hobbs

Thank you so much, I can't begin to tell you how much this means to me.

It had been a rather hectic two weeks for Daiquiri. She felt she was constantly having to juggle since the death of her be Godfather. Then the wars came along before anyone in Las Vegas had a chance to grieve. Let's not forget that amongst all that craziness, a mob of two hundred men split over four families brought horrors to the streets of the city of sin too.

Daiquiri had found herself in a new position of trying to keep the plates spinning, it felt like she had a lot of heavy weight on her shoulders all of a sudden. Trying to find solutions to how to fill the now vacant cities of the country with the Godfather Chairmens of the other cities. Luckily that wasn't too tricky to work on and solutions were soon found. It was said that Las Vegas could work on Detroit's future. 

With that information in hand, Daiquiri held talks with the leaders of the families from Las Vegas, whilst she also sat Don Justice down for a bit of one to one chat too. She gave him the option to move and to try to rebuild the city. She made it clear to him that Las Vegas would continue to support him if he decided to go. He had been with Las Vegas since the forever war and had been there for them whenever he was needed. Sure, some things dragged him aside for a while but he was back and getting in form again. Ready to get back to working hard for his family and the alliance. 

Justice soon agreed he would give it his best shot. He had the ambition of how he could grow the city and he it has rekindled his drive in doing so. Daiquiri was relieved. One, because she believed he could do it and two was one less thing to worry about solving. She was ever grateful for Don Justice for being willing to step up and willing to take a chance to grow his own empire.

A couple of days had gone by and things were now more settled. She popped onto a flight to go and see how things are going. A new Detroit was being built. She had heard what he has been saying on the grapevine and now it was her turn to go visit him. She arrived and walked up to greet Don. "Hello Justice, you are looking rather well there," she said, as she started to speak as the two Dons got the pleasantries out of the way. They talked for a while, checking in on how each other was doing and their cities. Soon enough it was time for Daiquiri to get ready to leave again, "Justice, before I go, I never got around to just saying congratulations to you. So congratulations and I hope it all works out well for you here. Who knows, maybe now the Supreme Court will please the masses of things" she finished up saying as she went to go on her way. 

Hobbs arrived to hand in another tithe to the new Don of Detroit.

"I've had another great, successful haul my friends. An old lady tripped before me, and as a thank you she handed me her purse and another chunk of lovely, cold hard cash, with some more pins that I know you just find delightful, Mr Justice. You are welcome to them, they'll help keep your wig in place."

Hobbs handed them over and then continued

"In other news, I have to tell you I witnessed your Charming Man engaging in an organised act of 'Art Theft' where he no doubt pocketed at least $40,000. I'd like you to understand I'm not breaking any codes by bringing you this information, but I thought you should know since he's flouting your no crime policy. What a terrible, terrible thing to happen to a Land Hammer Nerd."

Four days...four days it had taken ThisCharmingMan to hand out the gift bags. No wonder there was never any money in the crew coffers, Justice had been spending all of it on his silly miniatures. Next it would be toy soldiers. "I'd bet my last credit on it" he murmured angrily to himself under his breath.

He was proud of his hard work though, and was looking forward to whatever reward was instore for him when he made his way back to HQ.

Upon his arrival however, he noticed that the boss was already being paid a visit. Eavesdropping wasn't considered a crime here in Detroit, so he kept to the shadows and listened intently.

He couldn't believe it! Of all the treachery, the duplicity, the scumbagery!

ThisCharmingMan turned away from the door in disbelieve, rubbing his chin, not knowing at all what to do next. He would need to take some time to think about this. He carried on walking back down the street, heading to his new record store Cemetry Records (sale now on!).

Suddenly, ThisCharmingMan felt excruciating pain in the back of his skull as he stumbled forward, losing his balance and crashing to the floor. Then more pain, everywhere, again and again. He closed his eyes and threw his arms across his face in a futile attempt to block the attack.

The punches started to subside...then stop entirely, ThisCharmingMan opened his eyes slowly. Through blurred vision he saw the culprit. He was more shocked than ever...

So much for his 'no crime' speech the other day, he thought. The guy is losing his marbles.

Justice couldn't believe it. His whole dream was falling down around him. Whilst members such as Barney were taking to the life of non crime with such eagerness and totality that it made him proud, other members he held higher hopes for were failing him. He'd received word that none other than his RHM ThisCharmingMan was starting to not only commit crimes, but organise them. This went further than just a crime of opportunity. Something stank and he needed to get to the bottom of it. His reputation was on the line.

He was sure ThisCharmingMan must have an explanation. Maybe he was being forced to. Someone might have got a hold of his personal collection of lace garters that he liked to wear to all meetings. Justice knew it gave him a buzz to feel the lace against his skin. Or maybe Justice wasn't paying him enough. He was useless though, so any amount was too much to pay him. Justice set in motion his investigation.

Whilst following ThisCharmingMan to his record store one night, Justice lost track of him. Suddenly he felt the barrel of a gun in his back. Oh no! The crime free city of Detroit was experiencing crime! Not on my watch! exclaimed Justice

Aug 31, 05:37:38 ©ThisCharmingMan tried to PICKPOCKET you

 Justice beat his assailant half to death and for good measure took his gun. He might be a law abiding citizen of the highest calibre, but he was also the toughest SOB out here. IronMike would have been proud of the beatdown he had just bestowed on his would be assailant. Bending down, Justice got a good look at the miscreant. Oh no! It was none other than his trusted Right Hand. How far he had fallen. Record sales must have not been going too well recently. Justice sighed as he walked off, deciding on the best course of action to rehabilitate not only his Right Hand, but the city in general

This was going to be a tough one, something that the Peach never wanted to do in the first place, but at some point you have to really look at yourself and accept who you are and what you want in this thing of ours. Meekly at first, they walked up towards Justice and handed them some extremely legal cigars that were bought from one of the most premiere shops in all of the United States, then they extended their hand to give his a hearty shake.

"Congratulations, Justice. I love what you're doing with the place and I think that you deserve commendations for attempting to be such a peaceful city, but..." the tone in their voice shook a little at this point and took a more somber inflection, how could they say this without breaking their bosses heart?

"..I... I like crime... and I've been contributing to it greatly here in Detroit." there was a small sucrose tear that slowly fell from their eye and down to the ground, contributing to the puddle of tasty goodness as they had been crying now for a good twenty seconds. Finally admitting these things was difficult, but had to be done.

"I've taken old women's purses. I've... I've even discharged my gun a good twenty or so times at random post offices just to get that valuable stamp money. Oh god, I've sold drugs right on the street corners like a common criminal. I don't know if I am cut out for Detroit, and I... I think that it might be time soon for me to spread my wings to a city that is okay with this kind of thing."

It would be a lot for Justice to take in, but seeing as how they hate crime they would surely act in a civil manner and allow for the peach to spread their fruit-based wings and fly somewhere else. "Again, I think you're doing wonderful things here. Very impressive stuff, and congratulations to you for all of your accomplishments."

There was a weight taken off of their shoulders and in this moment the Peach finally felt like they could breathe again. A few picklocks dropped from their pockets as they quickly waddled away from Justice, hoping that he would take this news well. I guess the locks of Detroit would be a lot safer with them out of the city...

Success!
You earned a total of $757

...one more for old time's sake before they left, though. No one would miss that money, would they?

Tuggin' along the sidewalks of the beautiful thoroughfares of this thing of ours, Paddy found himself at the head of the news in Detroit. The freshly authed Don dawned his gavel in the streets. A beautiful speech. The young mobster took a drag of a spliff he had, zoned out inside is own head. A man of few words usually, provided he was bored with his immediate company anyways. Paddy took to doin' what he did, focusin' on honin' one of his many crafts. The free'r den a Freemason, Chicago born sleuth that left his stoop slopes his back downwards. He turns his shoulders port side, and his bag slips off the left side of his back. Hitting the ground, the sound of paint cans clinkin' together can be heard. He grabs a purple can to commemorate the color of caps worn by the street smart soldiers of Detroit.

May yer venture be

Bountiful and full of glee

Safe for you and me!

Paddy steps back from the wall, takin' a drag off of his spliff. He quickly picks the pocket of a passerby as he saw the openin' and took it. He ventures along until he finds a set of stairs. He just plops down and dances in his seat. Countin' the money off of his freshest take he took with style and ease. The grease from Capwnyville was unleashed.