As the sunset on a Monday night, Barney leaned back further into the barstool. He had a handful of envelopes in his lap. Staring down at them, he knew the contents would only depress him more. Barney had taken to performing for local kids' birthday parties. Any gig he could swing, he would be there with bells and whistles. He loved seeing the joy on their faces as he sang and danced the weekends away. Was it worth it? These cash-filled envelopes suggested otherwise.

The bar was empty enough and a regular haunt of Barney's, so he poured the contents of the envelopes on the bar. There were lots of bills to sort through, but that was thanks to his clientele. Mostly ones and fives covered the dark countertop. Barney sighed and began organizing them. He was so lost in the monotony that he didn't even notice his old friends walk in. They waved but went unnoticed. Taking a side at the opposite end of the bar, leaving him in peace to count. 

"$248.. $249... $250. Five parties and two-hundred and fifty dollars on the dime," Barney muttered to himself. 

The life of a performer appeared to be less lucrative than he had hoped. Another weekend come and gone, but the bills kept coming. And not the kind that Barney had been vying for. His internal struggle grew every day. Finally done counting, he picked his head up and looked around. Catching the familiar faces in his peripheral, he tried to avoid making eye contact. Much harder to do with a gigantic purple dinosaur head. 

"Barney! Where the hell ya been, man?! We've been rackin' it in all month! Just knocked over the post office... again. You'd think they'd learn by now, but they never do. We're in, out, and on our way to the bar to celebrate in less time than it takes you to sing one of those silly songs. When are you going to give it up and join us?" one of the nameless gangsters queried. 

"I told you, I gave up that life. I don't want to harm anyone. Only want to bring joy to others and see their smiling faces," Barney responded while quickly trying to shove the bills back into their respective envelopes unsuccessfully. It was too late and they had already seen the meager stacks. 

The nameless gangster approached boldly. 

"That can't be more than two-hundred dollars. You realize that I make more than that conning every poor schlub that crosses my path? How are you gonna live off that?"

Barney put his head into his hands. 

"I... I... don't... know. I just don't know. I can't go back to that life. I didn't like the person I was," Barney choked out.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. You just gotta start small. Look over there. See that lady by the front door? She's clearly had one too many dirty martinis tonight. Her purse is right there on the back of the chair. You could snatch it and be out the door before she even puts her glass down. Why don't you give it a try? You'd probably double your weekend earnings with a simple grab and go. Hard to pass that up!" 

Barney meekly stood up from the barstool and crept towards the door. His inner monologue weighing the pros and cons of the crime. He was almost within striking distance when he froze. The cons were rapidly outweighing the instant gratification. He turned to face the gangster and, in the process, his tail struck the women's barstool. Realizing this, his eyes widened. The turn changed into a full spin and Barney bolted out the front door, leaving the purse hanging from its owner's barstool. The gangster shook his head in disgust.

"You failed the petty."

Barney barrelled into Justice as he left the bar. Seeing him visibly shakened Justice grabbed him by the shoulders and slapped some sense into him. Then slapped him some more. Sometimes the urge to slap just took over. 

What's wrong Barney, my law abiding friend?

Barney explained about his crisis of faith. It saddened Justice. Barney had originally come to him to turn his back on the life of crime he had been leading. To build a better tomorrow for the kind and prosperous citizens of the fine city of Detroit. And Justice had welcomed him with open arms. He had seen the change come from within, and now Barney was one of the leading figures in the anti-crime movement Justice had started. It would not do to see such a pillar of society have to stoop to attempting petty crimes just to get by.

If you're struggling my friend, I am here for you. I'm like Jesus for gangsters. I will provide. My house is your house. Except when Greg is over, then it's time to skidaddle and let him and my wife work in peace. 

Turning back to the bar, Justice made his way in. The doors blew open from his presence, a gust of wind billowing his gown around him. A righteous aura emanated from the cloaked figure.

WHO DARES TO TEMPT MY NON EXTINCT DINOSAUR FROM THE PATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS MAN. WHO DARES TO BETRAY THE OATHES OF HONESTY I HAVE BESTOWED ON THIS CITY. 

The criminals cowered in fear. They had never seen such a handsome man look so scary. He oozed. Just oozed, no descriptor. 

Justice handed them all fines, and with the cash stuffed in his pocket headed back out to Barney. 

Here you go my friend, remember you don't have to worry when you're with me.

And with that, he handed Barney the newly collected money. 

Now go do childrens parties to your hearts content. Just make sure they don't exceed noise levels and have all the correct permits. 

Barney was ecstatic as he left the bar. Don Justice's intervention with the local thugs put him right back on his crime-free path. The extra money would go a long way towards his entertaining career. He could be seen skipping down the streets completely carefree. Petty crimes were not going to be paying his bills. Surely, there would be a more honest way to make a living. 

Arriving back at headquarters in Bricktown, there was a telegraph waiting for the friendly dinosaur. It was a job offer! Another birthday party, but this time in Chicago! Word was spreading quickly throughout the youth-party-scene. The parents demanded the song-singing-dinosaur and were willing to pay. The father comped the cost of the flight, a lofty two-hundred dollars from Detroit. They wouldn't take no for an answer. Barney packed his luggage hastily, making sure to bring the guitar. He wasn't even sure if it would fit on the plane. It had been far too long since his business last trip. Fortunately, the gate agents and flight attendants were more than accommodating upon hearing Barney's tale of adventure. Spreading joy was definitely a cause worth aiding. With his bags checked and ticket taken, Barney was now a flying dinosaur on his way to Chicago, the Windy City.

With the party well underway, Barney stepped up to perform his hit single for the children:

Barney is a dinosaur
From our imagination,
And when he's tall, he's what we call
A dinosaur sensation!

Barney's friends are big and small;
They come from lots of places.
After school they meet to play
And sing with happy faces

Barney shows us lots of things
Like how to play pretend,
ABC's and 123s
And how to be a friend.

Barney comes to play with us
Whenever we may need him.
Barney can be your friend too,
If you just make-believe him!

It was meant with a round of applause and cheers from the crowd. A dinosaur could truly get used to this lifestyle. He didn't stop there though. Performing a handful of well-thought out jingles. The kids ate it up and the parents were beaming. As he finished his set, he took a bow before leaving the stage behind. He was quickly met by the father of the birthday child, his employer for the weekend.

"Barney! That was a terrific performance. I can't thank you even for taking the time to fly up to Chicago for the weekend. What do you have planned for the rest of your stay?" he questioned. 

"You know, I hadn't really thought that far ahead. I'm a performer first and the rest just has a way of working itself out. Got any recommendations? I haven't spent much time in Chicago before now," Barney responded. 

"Well, that all depends on what you're looking for. You could catch a baseball game while you're here. It's nice to be outside with this lovely weather. There are delicious restaurants if you want to enjoy the local cuisine. Or..." he peeked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation, "...there are always opportunities to make some more cash while you're in town. An outsider like you could make a killing and no one would be the wiser." 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not sure what you're getting at, but it doesn't sound as earnest as kids' birthday parties."

"No, no it's nothing like that. But it is like babysitting. Let's just say, I have some female friends that need to be watched. You go with them, they work their magic, you sit outside, and collect your cut when they're done. It's really as simple as that."

"...What kind of magic? Why do they need to be watched?" Barney asked innocently. 

"If you don't know, you're best not knowing. These ladies of the evening perform services for paying customers and they need protection in case anything happens. Look, buddy, you made your keep singing today, but you could easily double or triple it by helping these ladies out. What do you think?"

Barney pondered the offer. He had earned a fair bit of money today. The temptation was alive. He could put it towards more instruments, costumes, and perhaps even a manager to help take this show national. With stars beginning to form in his eyes, the offer sounded promising.

"Okay, just tell me what I need to do," Barney said, shaking the father's hand.

When their hands separated, a piece of folded paper was stuck in Barney's hand.

"Just be at that address at 10 PM tonight. Bring whatever you need to make you feel safe."

Barney sat in his rental car across the street from the address given to him earlier. He checked the time on his comically large watch. It was 10 PM on the dot. A lady walked across the street, passing the front of his car and giving him a friendly wave. Confused, Barney waved back as he watched her enter the building. He wasn't quite sure what that was about. Maybe it was the 'friendly lady' the father had mentioned. Barney wasn't quite sure what to do now, so he just kept sitting in the driver's seat staring straight ahead. 

Suddenly, there was a tapping sound on his window. He had been in such deep focus that he hadn't even noticed the flash of the blue lights behind him. There wasn't just one cop car on the street though. There appeared to be another unit entering the building he had just witnessed the lady enter. The panic was immediately setting in.

"Roll down your window, sir," the officer commanded.

Barney was terrified and complied. His confusion was definitely lost on the officer, since the masked smile never changed. 

"Can I ask what you're doing here tonight?" the officer questioned.

"Umm... your guess is as good as mine, officer. I was told to wait in this spot and someone would come give me money for some reason," Barney offered.

"So you are running a prostitution ring? You know that's a felony, son," the officer retorted.

Barney was shocked, though it didn't show... as usual.

"No sir! I swore off crimes the moment I moved to Detroit! Ask anyone!" Barney pleaded.

Just then, the other unit exited the building with the friendly lady Barney had seen earlier in handcuffs. They were putting her in the back of a police car. Things were not looking up for the embarrassed dinosaur. Another office wandered over to flank the car in case Barney was considering a hasty escape.

"Sure, sure. I'll believe that right after you show me what's in the case in your backseat. I know you criminals like to keep your weapons hidden until you need to use them. What were you doing? Waiting to see if you needed to break out that rifle? Why don't you step out of the car?"

Barney slowly stepped out of the car. He walked towards the back doors lost for words. He silently opened the case while the officer kept a pistol pointed at him the entire time. The opened case revealed his guitar. As another officer approached the car and saw the dinosaur and the case's contents, he practically screamed.

"Hey! Are you Barney? I saw you perform earlier. You were great! I would love an autograph. Hey, this guy is clean. You don't have to worry about him," the approaching officer chimed in. 

The guns were lowered and out came the guitar. The cops gathered around and the mood changed swiftly. 

"Sorry for the trouble, Barney. How about you sing us a song?"

"Barney is a dinosaur, from our imagination..."