Smash! Jalopy Crash

Stoned idiot appears

Addresses his peers

"Hello folks, you may wonder what the fuck I'm doin' out he'a' in the middle of a thoroughfare, standin' a top'sta soapbox. Well I've got good news and I've got bad news. I'm just sellin' books!"

Jank unleashes the beast of one of his pristine looks like it came from a machine hand rolled spliffs. A jolly roger on his left forearm can be seen dancin' as Jank searches his left front pocket. The mark of his kin stops dancin' on the skinny arm as a lighter is pulled out of the pocket. Jank proceeds to light his spliff and continue.

"I have two encyclopedia's that can teach any member or associate the rope's to the fundamentals of a rope in the dopes. How to throw a cross into your boss while not spillin' any of your sauce. The goal that my entire bloodline spent it's time in teachin' the youthful bloodlines of a certain secret organization that we all know run's the show. We grow the stinkiest dank and crankshaft cranes with the swankiest of swank. We cook up the peppiest pop's that knock even the Chicago's WettSoxXx from Capwnyyville off their blocks. We craft our own trench sweepers, but we do not sell our wares of weapons to outsiders. We make our own suits. We know the ways of the underworld. And for one hundred thousand dollars I'll give you the basics to this strange walk of life we all chose to go down. For twice and a half I'll give you the up to date so far on how to take a man's life, and hunt down those that have crossed the bigger than us heads down here on the ground floor. Those with generations upon generations of soul to read back upon, these books may not be of any use to you. But the fresher bloodlines may be able to pick up on my families usage of the English language a bit more than most bloodlines are known for teachin'."

A familiar poster hung on the wall of every family members headquarters rules came to Jank's mind. Thinkin' back to all the cut'n dry overly elaborate ways to say one thing that never conveyed the bigger picture. A ping of a metal pipe hittin' a dumpster in a back alley is heard as Jank takes a drag of his spliff.

"Hell I'll take on a challenge of a veteran bloodline for five-hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars."

A wiggle of the eyebrows and a smile take over the stoned idiots face. Jank wiggles his ears as he focuses on takin' a fat drag of his spliff.