I AM STARTING TO DOUBT MYSELF

Ever since someone lost to history bestowed upon my lineage the nickname 'Kuku' I have always felt like I was, indeed, Kuku.

Whilst many have imitated my style, literary witticisms, praxis and pose, few have stolen my name.

Until recently.

WHO ARE THESE SELF-IMPOSED KUKU EXPERTS?

TheBeast and Outkast claim to be Kuku, or to know who the 'real' Kuku is.

Why aren't they asking themselves why Andy_Campo has the word YES tattooed prominently on his person?

If I am not Kuku, then who is?  Who is Kukham, and Fareham?

WHO KILLED HESTON?  AND WHY?

Heston was killed yesterday, and Cousin_Eddie had a narrow escape.  Who did it?

Why?

Does Zoom owe anyone $7m?  

Why won't anyone answer these questions?

I would like to announce that I am also currently looking for kuku.

I want to plan a sit down with a certain feral beast and have been told by my reconnaissance team that kuku is the preferred master of concert for such occasions.

Why won't anyone answer these questions?

Let me answer a question and then substitute it with a new unanswered question:

Who is Fareham?

I am Fareham, heir of the John Fareham lineage, known for causing at least one war and likely the cause for a future war as well (though I cannot share too much information on that just yet).

Here is the new question: WHERE IS FATHERMACKLEPENNY?