It was a fine afternoon. Ian was enjoying a double patty hamburger when he noticed a young boy staring at him from the other side of the restaurant. At first, he ignored the little guy and continued eating but then the boy started laughing at him. Slightly annoyed, he called him over and asked what he found so funny. 

"You're so fat," the boy chuckled.  

Ian was speechless for a while. He had always been fit and all he heard about his figure had always been positive. It was the first time someone called him fat. It was at this moment he realized he had indeed gained some weight. He could no longer finish his food and decided to get back home. 

Ian decided it was time he started working out and following a healthier diet. All the junk food he had been consuming lately had made him put on more than just a few pounds. However, bad habits don't die easily. Ian ended up eating a bucket of fried chicken the next day for lunch, which made him regret so much he skipped dinner. 

At the HQ that night, Ian was about to leave for home when he smelled something delicious nearby. Looking around, he found SassyPeach munching down hot sausages. He felt tempted to join him. 

"Hey! Want some?" asked the Peach. 

"NO. Don't tempt me. I'm on a diet," replied Ian. He was determined not to eat anything that night. 

"Oh. Run a few miles then." 

Ian thought for a while. Not a bad idea. But he couldn't let SassyPeach continue enjoying the sausages so he came up with a reply. 

"Only if you join me."

He was sure SassyPeach would never choose running over the tasty food but then he put down his plate. 

"FINE!" he said. 

Ian grinned at his reply. "Woah, you agreed! Five miles it is then!"

A lot had been going on these past few weeks, with searching for nuns and attempting to figure out who kept stealing his bicycle parts, it was almost enough to make a man hire his own personal private investigator, but instead of all that he was instead attacked by IANYU who began talking about how they want to run or something; truth be told, the peach didn't even really pay attention, but he nodded a few times and then agreed to whatever the man was speaking about.

"Wait, did you say five miles? Of what?"

There was a bit of a pause in his line of thinking while he attempted to argue his way out of this one, after-all his legs weren't entirely built for running nor was his peachy insides able to handle what would assuredly be a march to his death. "What about half of a mile? You know, take things slow?" while he attempted to talk his way out of his, he noticed that Ian had already began running and were too far away to even hear the concerns of the young peach.

"Fuck, well, maybe I'll enlist some help then..."

Rushing over to the headquarters of the Kayakers for a moment, he rapped at the door a few times until Lizzie had answered him. Then he peered inside and noticed that Isabella was over, probably for a conversation or two as sometimes they would have those from time to time-- these two would surely be the perfect fit for his scheme.

"Long story short, I agreed to run five miles. I need your help, there's no fucking way I can pull that off. Quick, before Ian notices, I need someone to go pick up the car and pull it around. We're going to invest in a little bit of cheating."

The word was such a nasty one, and this was more just getting a leg up on the competition more than anything. Once the car started up, he hopped inside and quickly caught up to where the man was still running hard. Jumping out, he looked back at Isabella and Lizzie and nodded, they would need to slowly drive behind them for if he ever needed to be picked up again.

"This is quite the refreshing run, isn't it?" sweating just from the lie itself, he hoped that they hadn't noticed his minor deception, or the dozen or so attempts at making shit up that he would do for the rest of this afternoon. 

Mile 1 - Completed

Only four more to go, he thought to himself. This should be easy enough with a car in tow.

Lizzie isn't into much running herself. She rather sit around eating pizza or spending the afternoon at a spa. So when SassyPeach came tumbling into the HQ with the most ridiculous idea of running five miles, she almost passed out. "Phew, you didn't mean me to run five miles? That's okay. I thought I was going to have to pack my bags and move away" She laughs at herself while looking at Sassy's dead serious face. "Oh, you're not joking???"

"How about you, Isabella ? Are you running five miles?" 

Jumping into the car, she turns the key and gets it started. Lizzie chuckles to herself as she mumbles.. "This is so stupid, how did I let him talk me into doing this?" She slowly drives behind Sassy as he is running along with IANYU next to him. 

Just as they finish mile one, Lizzie feels a few rumbles in the car as it comes to a stop and cuts out. She turns the key again and it doesn't start. She gets out and kicks it...that usually works for things, gets back in and turns the key again and....nothing. "Damn, this is unlucky" She thinks as she is slowly building up a rage inside. He makes her run a stupid errand which consists of following him because he is too damn lazy to run and now she is stuck in the middle of nowhere with a broken car. She gets out and starts walking down the marathon route by herself hoping that Isabella will turn up soon. 

Blrrrt... 

Blllrrrrttt...

Blllllllllrrrrrrrrrrrrttt....

What was that sound? The peach looked back as he was doing a mild jog during this second mile and noticed that the car had hit a complete and utter stop with Isabella and Lizzie both inside, while on of them got out the other seems to stay sat inside, but before he could really pay attention to what they were doing he snapped his attention back to IANYU who was a few dozen feet ahead of him in what was supposed to be a light marathon.

"S-so are we almost done? What mile do you think we're on?" he was a bit exasperated after the four actual minutes that he had jogged with Ian, but it was looking like his cheating would have to take a backseat for actual running. Maybe the two ladies would even join him on this adventure, if not just to keep him from passing out like a pathetic peach.

Looking around he noticed most of these building still, they couldn't have been even two miles away from where they had started their race. Wait, was this a race? If it was, he was surely losing. Why didn't they spend more attention to the conversation when it was happening? The poor peach always does things like this and it always ends the exact same way.

"Can we... can I call a timeout? TIME OUT!" 

Having mustered up the strength to shout those words, he quickly spiraled down to the floor and began to sort of roll around a little bit. This wasn't helping his pathetic peach persona, but hopefully no one would think too little about him after this display.

"What is that peach doing?"

"I don't know, dear. Just keep watching. Those talking fruits are becoming a real nuisance, did you see what that Pear was doing a few days ago? Just disgusting."

"Where did we all go so wrong as a society?"

He could hear the murmurs of some people walking past, but that did nothing to either motivate or upset him. He was pretty sure that he had passed out, but finally coming out of his groggy state he could now see a few figures that were people he had remembered from his headquarters, including Ian who had stopped racing to see what was going on.

"Sorry about that, I'm fine. I must have just... tripped, you know?" his explanation was a weak one, but easily enough to be believed, and the race would be able to at least start again now. Or they could end it early? That would be preferable, really. 

Lizzie takes off her heels and starts running after SassyPeach and IANYU . She steps on what could only feel like a slug, she yells loudly and sits on the floor wiping the bottom of her foot. Isabella finally catches up and approaches her while holding out her hand to pull Lizzie up off the ground. They both start running after the Peach. As they approach him totally out of breath they try and tell him what had happened to the car. 

"Well that's that" Is all SassyPeach could say.

 "No more cheating now. The game is up and you actually have to complete this marathon fairly. It's not a race. Just get on with it." Lizzie says firmly as she is feeling some relief putting on her shoes. 

"Where has Ian gone? I don't even see them anymore. They didn't stop running!" there was clearly some cheating afoot, and Lizzie was helping out the competition. This was definitely a race, and he was going to win it at any cost! That's when he slyly looked over at Lizzie and nodded to her.

"Yes, of course this is not a race. Of course."

The peach walked around her in circles for a moment, before he jetted as quickly as possible towards where Ian could be seen as a little speck in the distance, he was almost ready to turn a corner when all of the sudden the peach jumped onto an oncoming truck and rode it up the street just enough until he managed to make it to where he was supposed to be.

"HELLO, IAN! I AM BACK!" 

Jumping off of the truck, his poor peach body hit the ground hard and flung into the skies. His peachy juices getting all over the place as he rolled a bit down the road, surely this would get Ian to stop now. Maybe the race was finally over? His entire body hurt, and he had peeled some of his skin off, but otherwise it'd all mostly grow back, peaches were known to be one of the tougher fruits which didn't bruise very easily.

"Are you... ow, give me a minute. This hurts more than I thought it would. Do I look okay?" his body was fucked up, but when he looked around the realization hit him that he was in an area he had known was at least two miles away from the starting line. Everything was definitely going as planned and they would hit mile 5 in no time at this rate.

Revitalized, he started to rush past Ian as fast as his tiny legs could take him. He was going to win this!

Mile 2 - Complete

After SassyPeach agreed to join him on the run, Ian had immediately started off and in no time he had run a mile when he noticed something or someone was missing. 

​​​​​"Hmm... something doesn't feel right. Do you know-" Ian turned around to talk to his boss and found no one. 

The Peach hadn't joined him! 

He stopped and waited a couple minutes thinking it was a prank and that SassyPeach was actually around, messing with him. When he didn't turn up anymore, Ian knew he was bluffing when he said he would run. He sighed and decided to keep running the marathon by himself when suddenly he heard a familiar voice that made him almost trip over.

"This is quite the refreshing run, isn't it?" 

Ian started feeling creeped out. Was this a ghost? An imposter? It couldn't be the Peach himself! He picked up his pace to get away from the person behind him and ran as far as he could. Before long, he could see only a silhouette of the round figure in the distance behind him. 

He stopped to catch his breath when he saw a couple more people join the imposter of the Peach. He squinted to see who they were but the darkness made it difficult to make out their faces. Soon, they had come close enough for him to recognize them. They were none other than Lizzie and Isabella. He was glad they had joined him as he had started to feel lonely and was almost losing the motivation to complete the five miles. Perhaps they felt the need to lose a few pounds as well. Ladies are particularly self-conscious about their weight, after all. 

Just then, he saw SassyPeach, whose skin was now peeling off at places and juices spilling out from his wounds, dart past him. He was either trying to finish the run as fast as possible or was racing him to show he was more fit than Ian. If it was the latter, he had to show him he was no less either! 

Ian started running faster to catch up with SassyPeach but was starting to feel tired.

There was a long trail of peach juices following behind him, and at the point he didn't want to look back to see exactly how much he had lost but if his ability to think or pay attention was any indication, along with the dots appearing all over the place, and the random blacking out that kept going on; using all of these calculations only one conclusion could remain, he was going to pass the fuck out. But if he did that, how would he be able to make it all five miles, no, he had to carry on.

"You can do this...

...you're a powerful peach..

...you're the best peach there isssss"

While the song wasn't the best, another cup of juice had evacuated his body and soon there would be nothing left of him except for one rather oversized pit. So he did what anyone would do in this instance, and rushed onto a nearby house porch and grabbed one of the blankets a rather old lady was using for protection from the winds-- wrapping himself inside it and throwing her a few dollars, the peach went back onto his running adventure now with a large blankie keeping his insides from going out.

"This isn't working, fuck." he immediately realized his problem when the blanket just began to immediately become soaked, and became so heavy that he rolled up into it, his body now stuck and on the floor, this was all such a giant mess at this point that he surely wouldn't be able to win this race; rolling, however, was still an option.

"Ian, you better not be ahead of me. Where am I going?! Oh, fuck."

Using all of his bodies power to continue rolling forward, he hit the hill that he knew was coming up and began to make his way down it with relative ease. After a few seconds though, he realized this hill was a lot steeper than it at first looked and now he was most likely rolling directly into oncoming traffic. He needed help, fast.

"IAN. LIZZIE. WHERE IS ANYONE?! HELP ME!"

Suddenly, with a thump, the blanked unfurled and he flew a few feet into the air yet again, this time rolling into some grass. Most of his body was spared any further injuries, and looking up he could see a few friendly faces that were right behind him. Could this be the end of the marathon, or only the beginning? 

"Which mile do you think this is? Still 2... I might need, uh... I might need stitches."

As Ian kept trying to keep up with the leaking Peach who was now running faster than ever, his left foot hit something on the road making him trip and fall right on his chin. He got up but couldn't move his jaw anymore. He moved the strands of hair away from his eyes and saw SassyPeach running with a blanket wrapped around him when he tumbled down a hill and into the traffic from where he flew into the air and onto a patch of grass. 

Ian tried to run down the hill in order to save the Peach but he had forgotten that it was a HILL, a steep one too! He lost his footing and rolled down as well before landing right on top of SassyPeach, who had now almost passed out due to loss of juices. 

Ian heard him muttering something about needing stitches before he lost his own consciousness from hitting his already half broken jaw once again. 

After leaving the others to go find another car Lizzie is driving back along the road that IANYU and SassyPeach were running the marathon. She rolls down her window to let in some fresh air. Not a care in the world. She will catch up with them soon enough she thought and then she can give them a lift home after. In the distance she can see two people, well one person and what looks to be something round running frantically sideways and all the wrong ways. All but forward. Lizzie puts her foot down and drives a little faster until she reaches them. She gets out and stumbles up on a leaky peach and IANYU with his jaw hanging off. "Guys? what has happened? You both look like you've been ambushed..."

Lizzie helps IANYU into the car and pulls off her scarf from around her head and wraps it around IANYU's Jaw and head to keep it insitu. The blood was already seeping through. She runs over the other side and pulls SassyPeach up on to his feet and squeezes him into the car with a big push. As she is driving to the emergency room all she can hear is moans and groans from the back seats. 

Finally they arrive at the ER. 

How had this all gone so wrong? It was just a simple five mile run-of-the-mill race, a winner-take-all battle to the finish line, the type of race that most average people do every single day of their mundane lives. Yet the peach couldn't, and wouldn't, give up; even as he was being shoved onto the gurney, his little legs began moving at almost the speed of light as he ripped out all of the peach-juice filled IVs and began to run again.

"Which mile is this?! WHICH MILE IS THIS?!" he shouted at a random person standing haphazardly in the hospitals parking lot, and when they stammered and didn't know what to answer, the peach sighed loudly and took off in a flight again. He felt great now that all of this medicine was inside of him, but it sure did make it a lot more woozy.

"Whass going on here?" 

Pictures swirled around in his brain, so vivid and yet so far away. What was happening to him? He was suddenly so very sleepy, and without another word he flopped to the floor once again.

Mile Three (Completed?)

Whatever they put in this stuff was good shit... heeeh...

Ian opened his eyes to find himself staring at the ceiling of a busy room. It was a place he knew very well. The ER. He felt his jaw covered with bandages. He looked around and there were people rushing and talking about some fruit patient escaping the ER and being found in the parking lot. 

He knew it was none other than SassyPeach, who he thought was already dead from all the leaking of juices. Hearing that he still had the energy to run out of the ER, Ian felt relieved. He almost laughed but cried out loud when he realized his jaw was not in a condition to be used for laughing. 

After a while, he saw the huge Peach being brought back to the ER and attached to bags of peach juices and some other things. And this is how a late night marathon turned into a race to the hospital!

It had been a couple of days now, and the Peach was finally allowed to leave the hospital without needing to drink from out of a straw. They said that his peachy body healed ten times faster than that of any ordinary mans, which was something that was already well known by him but still always a shock to others.

"So where is that IANYU who forced me into such a state?" walking outside of the drab white walls of the Las Vegas Hospital, there was a thought inside of his head that continued to rumble on. They were nearly to the fourth mile and could still do this thing, all they'd need is some extra belief in themselves.

That's why instead of paying attention to where Ian was, instead the young and powerful fruit decided to pat his fuzzy skin dry and run towards the finish line, so to speak. They must have not eaten for a few days, however, because his body felt all sorts of fucked up and his eyes began to glaze over. Not wanting this to be the finish line of his life, he walked over to a stand that was selling hot dogs and other types of food and paid for two of the tasty treats.

"That'll be a quarter, good sir."

"Yeah, yeah. No problem. Keep the change.", the peach said proudly as he set down an entire dollar onto the stand. While he stood there and ate his food, he noticed Ian was only a few feet away, having most likely just left the hospital himself. "Is our race still on, or should we call this the end of our misadventure?"

Ian got discharged from the hospital with his jaw still bandaged. It was less painful now but it would definitely take some time to be fully healed. He bought a bunch of medicines from the pharmacy and was about to leave the hospital when he found SassyPeach eating hotdogs just outside the building.

He went to greet him, but he started asking about some race. 

"Race?! I don't want to take part in a death race again!" 

Saying this, he ran away towards his home.