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In defense of Fareham and a eulogy for D0m3n1c Started by: LiquidFareham on Nov 28, '22 20:37

Today has been a bizarre day. I wake up, put on my warm socks, look outside, and see bodies littering the street.
A clown-car full of screeching babboons under CorktownCL's command drives by shooting at random strangers.
My arch-rival Toodle-oo-Kangaroo (who unfortunately never made it past Senior Wiseguy) turned into roadkill.

Then my doorbell starts ringing incessantly.

When I open the door I am greeted by several hotshot news reporters asking for my comments on recent events.

 

It turns out that Detroit was brutally, violently dismembered.

 

I am framed for having masterminded this move with the help of The Plumbers, whilst I am wholly innocent. The reporters are eager to slander my name in the next issue of The Herald of The Underworld, or other less prestigious newspapers.

Why am I being framed? Just recently I forwarded the following letter sent to me by Zoom to the press (oh what terrible timing).
For brevity's sake I've omitted the preceding letters where we discuss the ALLEGED 7 million dollars Zoom still owed my lineage.

 

To: LiquidFareham
From: Zoom
Sent: Nov 02, '22 18:07
Subject:

Fareham > Kuku is all I'll say on the topic.

Faint basketball noises emit from the radio before Zoom smashes it with a brick.

I am but a humble and weak mafioso, I don't do the killing thing!

 

It is obvious to anyone that this was a direct threat against my person as a KukuFareham. I am also compared to a noisy radio, which I find horribly offensive.

I want to make it very clear that despite Zoom's obvious plans for my own demise, I had no hand in his.

 

Let us put this horrible rumour to rest.

 

Instead I think we should direct our energy towards mourning the loss of D0m3n1c, the last surviving heir of Mafia Basketball.

It has been said many times already, but D0m3n1c was a survivor. First he survived 3 days of Basketball Detroit (and very quickly left), then he survived the many assaults on his businesses by an enraged HGH fueled gorilla which followed, then he lived through Acting Godfather Chairman Illuminatiated's Chicago and its takedown, then finally he returned back home to a Detroit (perhaps his basketball roots called to him?) which most ironically ended up becoming his final resting place.

If ever there was a man capable of reviving the ancient customs of Basketball-Detroit it was him. I can only express grief and sadness that he was not offered an amnesty and given the opportunity to fulfill his destiny by the recent agressors.

 

Their ruthlessness shows.

 

With this man's death, the thread of prophecy is severed. All we can do is persist in the doomed world we have created.

I would like to make a toast to D0m3n1c's Memory. May you secretly dribble on in heaven brother.

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Nice and easy read, thank you for the article.
Love to see more light articles.

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Terrible times for the mafia & our world. All of "The Band" will be wearing black arm bands at practice as a show of respect for the last mafia basketball star. Who sadly left the world in a shower of lead, piss & blood. Which was much of a similar reaction given by ol D0m2n1c when the girth god told him to take a lap during practice. His speed on show as he escaped basketball Detroit showed physical prowess which could have made a baller if he could have "understood what the fuck was going on".

The skull and cross bones on the HMS Hornee will fly at half-mast for an indefinite period following this tragedy. All that is left to do is try to honour D0m3n1c by persisting in this doomed world we have created. 

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After reading the article he thanked the author for good writing-skill. More such and we have more fun to read about.
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