Tipster - please contact me 

UR picks up the Herald Times and reads it. He scoffs and has a few words to say. To no-one in particular he begins to speak.

Did we not have NPC's recently in another city and we eliminated them without any action on the city? Should one lazy family be the cause of the takedown of a city? I don't think so!

Is Fareham and his cohorts all about creating wars and conflicts within this thing of ours? Damn straight they are! Should they be listened to? HELL NO!

While I agree Philly has a family of recent slackers, it is the Holiday season and people do have family and friends they must entertain. They might have even had to travel. Who knows. Because of the Holidays I believe this family should be given a break and time to begin a normal routine here.

UR takes the Herald times, places it in a trash can and throws in a lit match. Pointing at the trash can he says

THAT is what I think of this Herald Times and I encourage others to have the same reaction. Feel free to pick up your own copy and BURN IT!!

With one last disgusted look, UR walks up the street shaking his head livid about this issue of the Herald Times.

I do NOT want wars, Don Rabbit.  I am a newsman. 

I have friends in PH, and I want the city to thrive.

Why did you insult the poor city of PH? 

The Rabbit sends angry telegrams and then refuses me right of reply. 

And we wonder why there are no newspapers any more?

Infamy, infamy. 

By setting the newspaper on fire, it has now not only become a metaphorical beacon of light in the dark, but it has also quite literally become one in the physical realm.

Stunning. Curious. Daring. Thought-provoking.

Is this artistry? Is Unique_rabbit performing meta-social-post-ironic performative art? Am I part of the art exhibit since my name is slandered in the same performance?

I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS

Tipster - please contact me too.

The headline grabs his eye on a crumpled newspaper left on the café table, He picks it up and reads the article.
With a surprised chuckle, he mutters under his breath.

Admire the bravery of the newsman,
Maybe foolishness is a more accurate description,
Nevertheless, I do admire it.


Moves his eye from the newspaper and looks up at nothing in particular and says to himself

Like papa used to say,
'Respect above all else!'
The word has definitely changed.

Puts the newspaper back down on the table, pays for his ristretto and leaves

Fareham walked over to LiquidFareham and handed him a stuffed envelope, and started to whisper something into his ear.

Hmm... Oh.. Ok.

LiquidFareham puts the thick envelope in his pocket and shakes Fareham's hand. He then proceeds to speak extra loudly to make sure all present would hear.

Oh yes I also definitely heard from anonymous sources that the murder of Monroe has slandered Philadelphia's good name, and that taxes are at an ALL TIME HIGH, causing economic ruin and leaving many a mobster unable to afford a ticket to the 12th Street Public Toilets HeadCoach memorial site. A tragedy.

Now if you'll excuse me I wish to continue to watch this BREATHTAKING piece of performance art involving a burning newspaper.

UR laughs at all the bullshit he is hearing. He does have a questions though.

Hey LiquidFareham, tell me, if this Fareham is the imposter you say he is why do you back him or take offense to my words? Seems to me you'd be furious at this "imposter" no? Are you one and the same and I hurt your lil feelers? You both stir the pot after all. 

Mr @FarehamI recognize you lacked the intelligence to write a paper with facts. Your imagination on the other hand I will grade you a D. Your ability to function in the mafia world is lacking much. I grade you an F.

If your CL lets you live today, I am certain one of the above you have blatantly disrespected with slander will have no problem silencing you. 

Wellerman was feeling refreshed after digging through 12th Street Public Toilets 'Literature' section and perusing the ancient texts they call reading material. 

On his way home he heard the familiar sound of feet stamping. As he rounded the corner he saw several small children and women running down the street in abject horror. This could only mean one thing. 

A new issue of his favorite newspaper has been released, Harold of the Underworld. Even though Wellerman never learned how to read, he always enjoyed looking at the pictures and sometimes One-Eyed Larry would sit down and read it to him. 

As he approached he was able to quickly overhear what all the bustle was about. A sensational piece about Philadelphia was included, an attack on the good folks of Philadelphia? Right around the holidays? Could this be true? 

I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS, BUT DO WE DESERVE ANSWERS? 

Yes, of course we do. We pay taxes don't we? I've never known a Fareham to lie, but could he be misinformed? I can not wait to find out in the next issue of Harold of the Underworld. 

Unique_Rabbit I have taken no offense, I just wish it be publically known that Fareham is a fake, and that I am the real Fareham. I AM furious at the Fake Fareham for stealing my good name.

To say "Fareham is an instigator" can and will be interpreted as a statement against me by the public, since I am Fareham (the other is one of my many impostors).

Please refer to the other Fareham as Fake Fareham in the future to prevent confusion. Thank you.

You also say I stir the pot, but I don't understand what pot you mean. If you mean a pot of gold then yes, I am very wealthy. I'm not sure if Fake Fareham is though.

I also do not understand your hostile tone towards me after I've showered your performative art with many praises (I have sent a positive review to several journalists already).

I AM CONFUSED

Another murdered journalist. 

WHY? 

Seems like a dangerous profession

Tutte, you are a powerful man.  Can't you protect writers and journalists?

To say "Fareham is an instigator" can and will be interpreted as a statement against me by the public, since I am Fareham (the other is one of my many impostors).

Please refer to the other Fareham as Fake Fareham in the future to prevent confusion. Thank you.

Considering you didn't make the statement that I was addressing, it was not against you.

Now that he is pushing up daisies you can reserve the name Fareham and stop it from happening again now can't you? Lets try being a little proactive eh?

fake news is cheap to produce genuine journalism is expensive.

Let's call a spade a spade.

This is just a mouthpiece for someone's propaganda.

Unique_Rabbit, Right. You know that, I know that, but will the random passerby who just happens to hear 2 sentences know? No, they will see me as a public menace instead of a connoisseur of the public arts like I am.

They will be pelting rotten tomatoes at the windows of my humble appartment. I don't like tomatoes.

Sure, I could write the city hall and lay official claim to the name of Fareham, but what prevents someone from using one of the many possible variations as a persona? SolidFareham, SolidusFareham, John_Kukham, FarehamTheGreat, HandsomeFareham, LordFareham, SpaghettiFareham, Unique_Fareham, FarehamsMom, you name it.

Hell, I've even heard the name "Farham" being muttered at a funeral recently.

No, I think it would be far more practical if other impending impostor Farehams would be referred to as "Fake Fareham" from now on.