ℍ𝔼ℝ𝔸𝕃𝔻 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕌ℕ𝔻𝔼ℝ𝕎𝕆ℝ𝕃𝔻

USA • Sunday, January 15th• Vol 2, No. 8

Violence against journalist/evangelist, saved by a miracle

Today in the coffee-shops TheBeast could be heard blaspheming against the cornerstone of modern mafia-philosophy, Systematic Immolation of Thought, after which one of our journalists rushed to defend its maidenly honour:

21:36 <TheBeast[MR]> SIOT is a failed system from a failed group
21:37 <KingCharlesIV[MR]> Please don't insult SioT

A heated discussion in written communication was initiated by TheBeast after this, at the end of which TheBeast made the solemn vow to wipe our reporter off the face of the planet (this is ordered chronologically for your convenience):

To: KingCharlesIV
From: TheBeast
Sent: Jan 15, '23 20:41
Subject:

don't start shit again friend

To: TheBeast
From: KingCharlesIV
Sent: Jan 15, '23 20:42
Subject:

What have I done this time good sir.
I am only trying to persuade you of Systematic Immolation of Thought's DEEP MEANINGS
AND TRUTHS

To: KingCharlesIV
From: TheBeast
Sent: Jan 15, '23 20:43
Subject:

I said stop. your "friend" started shit. and will soon be dealt with.

To: TheBeast
From: KingCharlesIV
Sent: Jan 15, '23 20:45
Subject:

We are not friends, merely 2 people with a common appreciation of SIoT

To: KingCharlesIV
From: TheBeast
Sent: Jan 15, '23 20:52
Subject:

you can get him to stop spreading shit or you both with be destroyed

To: KingCharlesIV
From: TheBeast
Sent: Jan 15, '23 21:02
Subject:

you'll never live to be in another crew. I've never killed you before, but now you're done

BUT FATE HAD A DIFFERENT PLAN

As is obvious from the conversation above, our reporter is a preacher of the Systematic Immolation of Thought gospel. As such he carries around a leatherbound copy with him at all times.

Always ready to quote a line about "where'ing the attire", or to elaborate on the often misunderstood and hotly debated "toaster chapter". Or perhaps to just idly read it themselves on a park bench.

Then suddenly a shot rang out. For a second our reporter saw his very short life flash before his very delicate eyes.

But when he expected to see the great light in the sky, instead he saw his assailant being dragged off by two police officers:

Jan 15, 21:44:03

You wacked TheBeast back

The reporter pulled his leatherbound copy out from his jacket, the bullet was lodged firmly into the pages filled with wisdom. The paper was scorched with burn markings around the point of impact, the bullet flattened. A life saved.

Our reporter was saved by his copy of Systematic Immolation of Thought.

A miracle.

WHAT IS NEXT?

Undoubtedly TheBeast will strike again, possibly within a few hours. Our mailbox is already overflowing with new threats.

Though it is with great sadness that they had to part with one, our reporter still has at least 20 leatherbound copies of Systematic Immolation of Thought left.

We will use this time to study that ancient tome of wisdom once more, after all the miracle that occurred today only increased our conviction of its divine nature.

Scratchy grabs a paper from the paper boy before realising it's a full grown man on his knee's with a eye-patch, missing multiple teeth. Kinda glancing while reading the newspaper, seeing the weird paper"Boy" glare with intrusive thoughts.

After reading, Scratchy gives back the paper, instead of throwing it away as it might be useful as a quilt as he lays on a concrete bed before looking and asking, "What is a 'SioT'?"

Scratchy: SIoT stands for "Systematic Immolation of Thought", one of the few works of mafia-philosophy that has stood the test of time.

Here is a free copy.

I always carry extras on hand and I fear I won't need it any more after uhh... two and a half hours.

Well, it seems it's over for the late, great kuku. I, the last of the great many duped individuals, tried once again to persuade this poor little excuse of a man into joining the fold and maybe, just maybe becoming a member of society again. As it happens, I failed. Many before have tried to reform this villain to no avail. I have come to the conclusion that this miscreant is beyond any repair and is lost to his disgusting thought processes and is unable to fix. Many have tried and all have failed, to try and redeem him. Therefore it is with great sadness that I have to declare that any member of the the kuku line is to be destroyed upon entry on to these shores. 

The old man started taking stacks of the free SIoT books and taping them to his body, from what the one fella said they seemed like a pretty decent defense all things considered. While busying himself with the extra protection, another man came to the streets. Half listening, mostly taping, Harold ended up coughing to cover up his laughs while he kept his eyes on the prize. 

A full bodysuit of SIoT body armor and far cheaper than any bodyguard he's met. 

TheBeast, I can't decipher what exactly has happened here that's insulted you so gravely? The talk of an old speech?

I, the last of the great many duped individuals, tried once again to persuade this poor little excuse of a man into joining the fold and maybe, just maybe becoming a member of society again.

I applied for work, but was quickly shunned by your job-offering henchmen, then when I asked (a hand) if I could join your flock in writing I was told no and to contact someone else.

And then, you approached me making threats, after which you offered me a spot if I shot an innocent man.

This I refused as I do not have a firearm nor am I a violent individual.

So this guy turned away someone from their job board, returned to tell them they could join if they randomly shot someone, before attempting to murder the applicant themselves when that offer was rejected, all while being enraged over references to an old speech? Interesting behavior.

Kuku and all of his bloodline will be systematically erased from these shores. 

TheBeast has to look up to see the bottom of the barrel.

TheBeast is a fantastic CL who taught my sadly departed father (Wearing a shiny blue suit no less) a lot about loyalty. Apparently my family line has been doing it wrong all these generations.

Let it hence be known that if someone murders your GFC to who you swore a blood oath. It is fine to not retaliate as long as you were asleep at the time it happened.

To clarify:

• GFC Is alive. - Be super loyal.
• GCF Is killed & you are awake - Smite thine enemines with the rage of Jesus Buddah & the devil. Kill them all as your blood oath intended.
• GFC Is killed & you are asleep - Fuck that guy. I am still alive so its all good.

The prophet Jesus The Gangster has clearly been attending the SIOT study group as he made clear his feelings "99% of this community will turn their back on anyone or any morals to suck the next cock that keeps them alive a little while longer. All to do nothing of note with that time" (Paraphrased) 

I think this will be a fitting epitaph for TheBeast & city jumper JamesBaxter

What has our glorious street leader JamesBaxter got to say on the matter?

If one were to listen to the prophet Jesus (The Gangster) one would summarise that "Leader of the streets" JamesBaxter is busy slurping down a sausage sub to contuine his wretched existence for another day. 

Adonna heard people gossiping about Kuku and his lineage. She found this strange. She started talking to herself.

Well, well, haven't things changed. I remember not long ago when TheBeast was saying he was an old friend of Kuku's and had been instructed by Philly not to give him a home. Around the same time, TheBeast's right hand intercepted a letter to TheBeast instructing him to kick the Kuku lineage that he had given a home to. 

And here we are today, TheBeast has put a bounty out on Kuku and his lineage. Strange times. Strange times indeed.

I HAVE QUESTIONS 

What happened to the journalist who wrote this piece? Is nothing sacred anymore? Did anyone else see Jerome and TheBeast in the same room at the same time?

Mar 15, 23:14:19

You wacked TheBeast back

Those who do not learn from History, are apparently doomed to repeat it... 

ObviousAF, The leading intellectual minds of this country (and also Jub) are dying to know: did you happen to be carrying a leatherbound copy of Systematic Immolation of Thought on you when this occurred?

A theory is starting to form in certain scientific circles, one which could revolutionise the protective clothing industry as we know it.

Does TheBeast accept that not everyone he tried to kill and misses on are Kuku?

Both times he's missed on unsponsored gangsters, neither have been related to Kuku. Not even ideologically.

Indeed, Kuku's only interactions with TheBeast have been to con him out of $80m.