Following my report on the muzzling of TheBeast, who still has not been seen on the Streets since his bounty declaration and subsequent verbal whipping by GFC quiet, a bevy of tipsters and informants have sought my attention. While most of this information has come to nothing, given how boring you all are and how little goes on around here, one man has pushed some very deeply held concerns in my direction:

To: BarbaraWawa
From: SilentAssassin
Sent: Jan 25, '23 17:07
Subject:

it has nothing to do with the competition commission  other than a person under false pretension saying he was new on the streets knew way too much. im just giving you something to go dig into. you know nothing about them? are you affiliated with Liquid Fareham Jr,HAH-Rolled (Harold) long john fareham,? look into it. be useful. find out who belongs to this supposed competition commission who apparently have been around for years. 

come on be a real journalist unlike those pretenders. i need something to read while im on the John 

To: SilentAssassin
From: BarbaraWawa
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:57
Subject:

Those facts don't tell me anything. Kuku joined a crew once and your uncle killed him. What does that give me? What does that have to do with the Competition Commission? There's still zero information here. 

To: BarbaraWawa
From: SilentAssassin
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:55
Subject:

i know at one time a kuku or fareham was given one chance to exist in Chicago and allowed to join a family even though it turned out under false pretension.  because it was believed he could change and be given one last chance. 

it lasted 4 days before he started to talk about the writing competition and LostBoy and justifying lower members of  chicago crews including the one he was in for  being  killed. The godfather quoted saying " i guess a leopard really cant change his spots" and "ZZ TOP (great name by te way they should name a band after that) ended up laying in alley way with bullets in the back of his head laying in his own blood. 

My uncle was the one who brought him in believing that ZZ Top really wanted to be a member of a great Chicago family and ended up with egg on his face. 

that i know. those are facts! 

that interesting enough for you or did you already know this information?

To: SilentAssassin
From: BarbaraWawa
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:41
Subject:

That's not a scoop. That's you looking for a scoop. A scoop is information, not questions that you have and don't know the answer to. Jesus Christ, SA. The only scoop here is that you don't know anything. 

To: BarbaraWawa
From: SilentAssassin
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:40
Subject:

do you know anything of htis competition commission? are they legitg how many members are there? were they the ones who validated the accuracty of the survey numbers?

To: SilentAssassin
From: BarbaraWawa
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:37
Subject:

Haha, sure man. Very believable. 

To: BarbaraWawa
From: SilentAssassin
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:37
Subject:

i did have a story but yet you said you were not looking for one so...you blew it. 

To: SilentAssassin
From: BarbaraWawa
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:36
Subject:

You didn't have a story. You had a dumb threat about doing your jobs. That's so BORING, SA. I thought you were going to say something interesting for once and you failed. 

To: BarbaraWawa
From: SilentAssassin
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:35
Subject:

boring? i gave you one chance ot get a good story and you said you werent looking for one. but you are happy to shoot your mouth off in the streets. frankly the kukus farehams harolds and yourself are getting to be boring.  happy ambulance chasing

To: SilentAssassin
From: BarbaraWawa
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:33
Subject:

Ugh, was that it? You're so boring, SA. Who cares. 

To: BarbaraWawa
From: SilentAssassin
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:32
Subject:

i dont want any jobs done by you or any kuku or fareham or harold or what toher people you are affiliated with . your kind is not welcome in any family in Chicago ever. 

To: SilentAssassin
From: BarbaraWawa
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:29
Subject:

Get to the point, jesus christ

To: BarbaraWawa
From: SilentAssassin
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:29
Subject:

you are journalist are you not? always looking for a hot story? maybe im mistaken and are a want to be journalist like the farehams and kukus

To: SilentAssassin
From: BarbaraWawa
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:26
Subject:

I haven't asked for one at any point so I don't know what you're on about

To: BarbaraWawa
From: SilentAssassin
Sent: Jan 25, '23 16:25
Subject:

you really want a scoop?

So, there you have it, Competition Commission. A series of innocuous questions about a ratification panel for mafia competitions, asked for some reason through me instead of just by him. Would a representative of your organization please step forward?

LiquidFarehamJr, perhaps you could answer whether they were the ones who validated the results of your survey?

SilentAssassin, would you like to sit down with the commission representative and get it all off your chest? Was this about LostBoy all along? Why are you so interested in all of this? Are you afraid the Kuku lineage may have damaging information on you from your shared history? 

I have in my possession a typewritten letter which should answer all of SilentAssassin's questions.

Let me say first of all that, no, I had not expected to be the mouthpiece of The illustrious Competition Commission today. And secondly, that of course I am not a member of the Competition Commission myself, but merely their pawn of the day.

It is well understood that usually communication with the Competition Commission goes through a method which protects their identity, for obvious reasons.

I've heard tales of ouija boards, dead-drops, voice-messages transmitted by parrots, and other outlandish things.
But what they've done this time trumps all of that. Today The Competition Commission delivered me a letter by stuffing it in the barrel of Tutte's gun while he was asleep, knowing it would find its way to me:

Jan 25, 20:37:22

You caught up with Tutte, beat them within an inch of their life, and took $209,189 You also stole their gun.

Why would they convey their letter this way you may ask? The CC foresaw Tutte's and my own actions, and is well aware that I am a Journalist, which means I am honour-bound to publish this letter. This indirect communication-path is utterly untracable.

A WORK OF GENIUS.

Now without further ado, here's the letter in question for you, SilentAssassin:

Dear SilentAssassin,

 

are they legitg how many members are there? were they the ones who validated the accuracty of the survey numbers?

Yes, we are legit, but we will not publically disclose our member-count. In general it's also a question that's hard to definitively answer without specifically knowing what you count as a member. We have many different divisions with different tasks and levels of involvement/clearance/authority.

And yes, we did validate the accuracy of the survey numbers. In fact, we were the organisation that did the entire counting process to begin with. We had undercover spies posing as street cleaners to do a head-count of the number of participants, had other spies posing as participants hand in control-ballots, had the ballots sent to us by dead-drop and checked the control-balots to rule out tampering/foul play. Finally, we gave the results of the counting to LiquidFarehamJr by broadcasting it over a public radio frequency.

 

find out who belongs to this supposed competition commission who apparently have been around for years. 

The Competition Commission would advise you not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Enjoy the Competitions we oversee and guarantee the fairness and safety of.

Do not bite the hand that feeds you with fair and enjoyable competitions.

The Competition Commission is an organisation with very, very, long arms.

All I can say is.

I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS.

simpleton stands on the street corner looking perturbed...arms cross and foot tapping with anxious energy...

"Ms. Wawa, you are really getting on my bad side today. First you refuse to participate in an organized crime with me (the penalty of which is death, according to mafia basketball bylaw Sec. 3 Pp. 14a.), then you make me read some garbage from bottom to top, and at the same time you try to make SilentAssassin look bad by publishing his exact words."

"If you keep this up, you will find yourself on the hitlist for TWO MILLION DOLLARS".

Mr. simpleton, though I greatly admire your knowledge of mafia basketball penal code, I have long since retired from participating in crime, let alone organized crime, following a 22 million dollar tip I received for my part in questioning the winner of the John Fareham Memorial Quiz. I'm rich now and therefore above those things and also most people. If you were to put a two million hit on me, I would simply buy it off, while lighting a cigar with a flaming hundred dollar bill. The thing about becoming filthy rich is that it isn't something that simply changes your lifestyle, it is a duty, and it becomes your job. I am professionally rich. 

This was the mistake SilentAssassin made when he presumed I was still a journalist, obviously having read and agreed with my insightful report on the muzzling of TheBeast. Though attempting to follow the chain of logic in his 'scoops' gave me brain damage, it still left enough in the tank to facilitate this meeting between himself and the Competition Commission representative, who promptly died after his arrival. RIP Hah_rolled. Was there something more sinister at play here? Could SilentAssassin have used me to draw out the CC rep simply to murder him? Perhaps. But I'm not a journalist. I'm rich. 

Do people just go around advertising to all the criminals in this country about being rich? The Son of Grool, Mac Grool thinks aloud.

Better start converting that money into gold and bury it well-hidden, because I can only assume you might have a bullet with your name in it.

MacGrool, it's obvious you have absolutely no idea what it is to be rich. This is very embarrassing. Have you even been to Carmel-By-The-Sea?