It was a cold and biting morning across the Land of the Six Cities (LOTSC - (also Leader of the Streets Council)) and JimmyBaxter awoke to the sound some sort of screeching behemoth.  He shook his head and laughed, probably just KennyRusso releiving himself in the upstairs apartment, he thought to himself.

He had been the BDLOTSC for some time now following his fathers death and although he had been able to rule with a fair hand and the people prospered, there was one thing that threatened to upend his rule - the Ring of the 6 Cities.

This ring was a powerful artifact that held the essence of the six great cities and was key to Jimmy's ascension to the porcelain throne.  His grandmother, JaymeBaxter had been it's keeper and protector until her untimely death, and had more recently been COVETED by his father DanielDayBaxter who was betrayed by Tutte, a slayer of innocent people.  He had stolen the ring and disappeared into the shadows, seeking to use its power for his own sinister purposes.

Jimmy wouldn't have been bothered AT ALL about this but The Ring of the Six Cities was no ordinary ring, it was a magical ring that held the power to unify the six cities of the LOTSC and this was all that mattered to him.  Without it, the cities would never be able to work together effectively, and the rule of the LOTSC would be weakened. 

Jimmy however, was no slouch, and having picked up some of his mothers SLEUTHING skills was determined to retrieve the ring and restore order to the land. He summoned a group of brave warriors to join him on his quest, including James: a plumber, LOTS SilentAssassin, and a small balding Erotic Pet and Exotic Bookshop owner from Philadelphia who NOBODY really recognised. Together, they would make their way through the treacherous hills and valleys between the cities, facing countless dangers and obstacles along the way as they searched, some would say in vain, for the SLAYER Tutte.

As they traveled deeper into the heart of the land, they encountered strange and powerful creatures, including SAD CLOWNS, RANDOM MISCREANTS and strange folk dressed as MERMAIDS, who sought to deny Jimmy the Ring; But JimmyBaxter and his companions were determined, and they forged on, facing every challenge with courage and determination.

Finally, they reached the lair of Tutte, where they found him surrounded by a host of evil minions.  His partner in crime HIRER OF ROGUE TRADESMEN and named ENEMY OF THE STATE, TheBeast stood behind him looking confused. 

In a fierce battle, JimmyBaxter and his companions fought valiantly against the forces of darkness, and with a mighty blow from Jimmy's FINGER SAUSAGE ORAL FACILITATOR, which he had obtained just yesterday, chrome keys and all, Tutte was defeated and the ring was reclaimed.

With the ring safely in hand, JimmyBaxter caught the first red eye flight back to the LOTSC and claimed his rightful place on the porcelain throne.

The ring was placed back in its rightful place, and the six cities of the LOTSC were once again united. The people of the LOTSC celebrated their victory and the return of the ring, and JimmyBaxter was hailed as a hero.  The people cheered as he was crowned, and peace was restored to the land.  As the citizens looked on, they knew that the world would never forget the four brave warriors who had dared to quest for the Ring of the 6 Cities.

FOR CONTEXT: PLEASE SEE THE BELOW NOTE/MEMO - You probably should have read this before you read the above, as Jimmy has now RUINED the story for you, HE APOLOGISES PROFUSELY:

Jim takes a deep breath of the Philadelphia air, after being in the Bella Vista public toilets for so long his lungs needed it like a Randy Nun needs a Jimmy Saville.

Good evening, citizens. 

I am honored to be standing before you tonight as the newly proclaimed (by myself) leader of the streets. I am humbled by the trust you have placed in me and I promise to do my utmost to serve and protect the interests of our community.

As we stand here on this cold, villainous evening, it is a time of great change and uncertainty. The winds of progress are blowing, and we have a chance to steer the future in a direction that will bring prosperity and stability to our streets and to our nation.

As your leader, I will work tirelessly to address the pressing issues that face us. From unemployment to poverty, from crime to discrimination, I am committed to finding solutions that will make our streets a better place for all of its residents.

But I cannot do this alone. I need the support of each and every one of you. Together, we can create a brighter future for our community, a future where everyone has the opportunity to succeed and thrive.

So let us work together, let us rise to the challenge before us, and let us build a better tomorrow for the street, for America, and for the world.

Thank you, and God bless you all.  Apart from JamesBaxter, my NEMESIS.

JAMES DIES. 

Dear VALUED members of our community,

It is with great EXCITEMENT and PRIDE that I, JaymeBaxter, invite you to join us in celebrating the crowning and ascension, of one of our own, to the prestigious Porcelain Throne.

This is a momentous occasion for our community, and it is our honor to be able to share it with you.

The celebration will take place on Saturday, 4th February, and will feature a host of entertaining activities, your very own personal "little person" to do with what you please, delicious food and drinks, and of course, the crowning ceremony itself.

The event will be held in a secret location (in order to keep out the likes of JamesBaxter, with the poll revealing he's not really a very popular guy) to be revealed to those who have confirmed their attendance.

We kindly request that you RSVP by 14:00 to confirm your attendance and to receive further information about the location and schedule for the event. We ask that you respect the CONFIDENTIALITY and SECRECY of the event, as it is VERY IMPORTANT we avoid any possible INFRACTIONS, violence is kept to a minimum and we keep James out.  Journalists will also be present so, known JOURNALIST SLAYER Tutte is also NOT ALLOWED to attend.

We look forward to seeing you there and celebrating this historic event with you.

Sincerely,

The LOTS council (of which the LOTS is the highest position)

The air was electric with excitement as the guests arrived at the grand estate, and, up until this point, SECRET location for the SECRET ceremony. The theme was mermaids, the game was rat shooting, and the purpose was to crown the new LOTS Crown Prince, SilentAssassin. 

A few people had noticed pigeons flying around but that was nothing new, Someone, possibly JamesBaxter had been ignoring our advice and using them to send us messages of support, despite the OBVIOUS DANGERS

As guests arrived, they were greeted by a sea of vibrant decorations, colorful pinatas hanging from the ceiling, and the sound of music and laughter echoing through the halls.  A large banner reading "Congratulations SilentAssassin, New LOTS Crown Prince" was displayed proudly above the entrance, someone, possibly TheBeast or Tutte had scrawled some sort of obscenity on it but Jayme had a team ON THE CASE seeing it was removed before SilentAssassin's BIG MOMENT came to pass.

At the center of the estate was a large open area where the RAT SHOOTING CONTEST would take place. People gathered around the edges, cheering on their favorite participants as they took aim and fired at the RODENTS scurrying through the area.  KennyRusso tried his hand, he was USELESS; Kenny was a POPULAR guy though and took it in his stride admirably.  Someone mentioned something about pigeons.

As the night wore on, the excitement grew as the crowning ceremony approached. The guests gathered in the main hall, eager to witness the historic event. The room was filled with a hushed silence as SilentAssassin made his way to the stage, his eyes shining with pride and determination.

The ceremony began with a fanfare of trumpets, and the crowd erupted into cheers as SilentAssassin was crowned with the symbol of his new position, the CROWN of the LOTS.

He stood tall as a MEERKAT SCOUTING FOR EAGLES, a proud and noble figure, beaming with pride as the crowd erupted into applause.

Meanwhile, THE PIGEONS, they were becoming a PROBLEM.  Jayme glanced over to one of her most ardent supporters, KennyRusso, and nodded slowly.  Kenny KNEW what to do.

With the crowning ceremony over, the party really kicked into gear. The guests were treated to an extravagant feast, vegans and vegetarians alike were accommodated with culinary treats that made their LOINS WET; It wasn't eating like most had ever experienced but HOTDASHDANG they enjoyed it and, afterwards, the music and dancing continued well into the night.

The pinatas were smashed, raining shower of candy, HEROIN and COCAINE onto the revelers below.  Jayme certainly knew how to organise a party, the donations plate was filling up nicely and she left to powder her nose......

The PIGEONS really were starting to become a PROBLEM.

SilentAssassin, now the new LOTS Crown Prince, hoped he would go on to lead with wisdom and grace, always remembering the joy and excitement of his SUPER DUPER CEREMONY and the day he was crowned.  As he stepped up to the stage, there was a moments HUSHED SILENCE before the citizens began to realise what was going on. 

HE HAD VANISHED. 

The guests began to BECOME AGITATED, a SOMBRE PANIC set around the place, people didn't know what to do, Stefon_Braxton SHIT his pants........

The Pigeons, they had started attacking people.  Too many had found themselves in a confined space and, being unable to land due to their BLOODIED AND FESTERING stumps for feet were beginning to PANIC.  Marston was having his left eye pecked out by what can only be described as an avian blur as the bird went at it with verve.  Dawson was struggling to hold off not 1, BUT 2, rabid birds, quietly succeeding, FOR NOW.  MrHans had managed to grab the poker from the fire and was giving it a MIGHTY effort holding off the ONSLAUGHT, especially considering he was a man of small stature

Surely, this couldn't be JamesBaxter's doing, could it?

Jayme had VANISHED.  She was the closest link they had back to James, her BROTHER.  The citizens CLAMOURED for her..........

The coup was SWIFT and BRUTAL, THE PIGEONS HAD DONE THEIR JOB and JaymeBaxter and her loyal followers stormed the headquarters of the Leader of the Streets Committee (LOTSC).

The unsuspecting members of the command were taken by surprise, and soon found themselves overpowered by the well-trained forces of JaymeBaxter.   Sniffler had become quite the addition the the team, Jayme, and her highly train team of SPECIALISTS had devised a way of keeping Snifflers pipe attached to his mouth; he was MUCH more USEFUL this way, despite the new apparatus being cumbersome (no animals were harmed and we have Paul_Finch express permission to use Sniffler).  He went about making sure any remaining RABID PIGEONS were ELIMINATED.

As the dust settled, and it became clear she had succeeded in her COUP attempt, JaymeBaxter declared herself the new Benevolent Dictator of the LOTSC (BDLOTSC), taking control of the organization with an iron fist.

A Banner was unfurled above the Porcelain Throne:

JaymeBaxter, BDLOTSC 

|

SilentAssassin LOTS

Her first act was to solidify her power, purging any members who opposed her rule and installing a new regime loyal to her.  She decreed Tutte and TheBeast to forever be NEMESIS #2 AND NEMESIS #3, respectively, and both were declared ENEMIES OF THE STATE.  Her list was growing longer, but she didn't care, she knew if she persevered she could bring DIRECTION and LEADERSHIP to the streets.

One of the few who managed to escape the coup was SilentAssassin, a respected member of the LOTSC.

Despite his escape, JaymeBaxter allowed him to continue in his position as LOTS, but under her watchful eye. She knew that SilentAssassin's skills would be VALUABLE to her rule, but also wanted to make sure that he remained loyal to her cause.  She also had damning evidence in a case about a mermaid in Philadelphia which she could, if required, bribe him with.

The new order brought FEAR and UNBRIDLED TERROR to the streets, as JaymeBaxter's forces patrolled the city, hunting down any who dared to STAND AGAINST her. The POWERFUL LOTSC was now a tool used by JaymeBaxter to enforce her dictatorship and she intended to do so with the COURAGE of a NORTH AFRICAN BISON.

Despite the fear and unrest, JaymeBaxter was not worried, she knew the detractors were few and she was determined to bring order to the land, to EXPAND the POWER and PRESTIGE of the LOTSC, and to rule with a firm but fair hand.

The people of the city would learn to respect and fear their new Benevolent Dictator, and under her leadership, the LOTSC would surpass any previous level of greatness they had achieved so far..

JAYME DIES 

DanielDayBaxter, a part time METHOD ACTOR from Philadelphia woke on the afternoon of 5th February.  The air had an ominous feel to it, it was almost as if........

The Phone rang, startling him fully awake from his morning snoozing.  It was KennyRusso and he had some TERRIBLE news.  Daniel's mother, JaymeBaxter had just been gunned down in cold blood, probably by Tutte, KNOWN SLAYER OF JOURNALISTS, PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS and INNOCENT PEOPLE.

Daniel was DEVASTATED, but he wasn't going to let this destroy the beauty that was coming to pass outside, the streets glowing orange as the cobbles BASKED in the morning Sun. 

Daniel quickly grabbed his mothers ring, knowing that only the holder of the ONE RING could hold sway over the LOTSC and CITIZENS alike, it was all HIS now, his PRECIOUS.

Quickly snapping his gaze away from the flames dancing in the ring, he quickly made his way downstairs to the SECRET UNDERGROUND PASSAGEWAY to the LOTSC.

As he ascended into the PORCELAIN THRONE room he was glad to see all of his followers and adjutants waiting for him and after making his way to the lectern, addressed the EXCITABLE crowd.... 

Good morning everyone, I want to thank you all for coming today. As you know, I have taken over as BDLOTSC following my mother's passing. I understand that this is a difficult time for all of us, but I want to assure you that my mother's legacy will live on through this REPUTABLE organisation.  AN organisation where we do not hire ROGUE TRADESMEN or condone the SLAYING of INNOCENT citizens.

Chris, a balding man with a large red birthmark on his face piped up.....

Daniel, we're all really worried about the future. Jayme was such a benevolent leader and we're not sure if you'll be able to fill her shoes.

I understand your concerns, Daniel cooed softly, but I want you to know that I share my mother's values. She was a fair and ethical leader, and I intend to carry on her legacy in that same way. I believe in treating everyone with respect and making sure that our business practices are always above board.

James, a plumber offered his 10 cents........

That's great to hear, but can you tell us more about your vision?

Absolutely, Daniel replied, scoffing. I believe that the LOTSC should not only be successful, but it should also make a positive impact on the world. I want to expand our reach to include more sustainable practices and give back to our communities. I also want to ensure that our employees are happy and fulfilled in their work. After all, a happy workforce is a productive workforce.

Chris, a no name C, threw his question into the fray with verve.........

It's great to hear that you have such a positive vision for the future Daniel. We're all excited to work with you and make it a reality.

Thank you Chris. I want you, and ALL CITIZENS to know that I am open to any suggestions or ideas you may have. This organisation belongs to all of us, and I am here to support and guide us towards a bright future. Let's work together to make the streets the best they can be!

With that, the meeting adjourned, and the employees left feeling reassured and excited about the future of the streets under Daniel's leadership. They all knew that he was a happy and ethical man, who would lead the company with the same values that his mother had instilled in him.