Mob News The Return!:

(September 3^rd – September 10^th)

Hello Ladies and Gentleman. And….Gallifrey. Ew. Welcome to the return of the Mob News! Be bringing you the 3^rd best paper in the Mafia Underground since the 1900’s. Let’s begin.

Competition:

Well. As I hope most of you know. My little frog Albert has been stolen. By the evil man name Gallifrey. I wish to have it return. So the person who pickpockets the man Gallifrey the most by the next addition and sended me the personals of every single PP to him. Will get this Reward Money of: 500,000K. Thank you for the supporting of Mr. Albert. He doesn’t love you.

Story time with Anonymous:

Well this girl hits me up at like 10am.... saying she is going to stop by and smoke a cig... so I said yea come on by. She stopped and asked if I could get some drugs.. I said yeah we had to wait the dude showed up and we smoked like 3 sherm sticks back too back to back... next thing I know she is on my couch just laid out telling me about her “toys” and all next thing I know we are hooking up on the couch and all we stopped for a second turned on the to turn on the music and smoke again... next thing I know her mom and sister just walk the fuck in my house and things just hit the fan... then I guess her mom has people calling my phone saying how they are gonna come fuck me up and all that fun shit.  It was so fucked up.... then after i receive threatening phone calls someone is banging on my door so I go out the back grab a crow bar and walk up on my porch only to find the girls mom saying I owe her 70$.... and yet her daughter walked away with my weed and my car.... so I got fucked in all the wrong ways.

Oh and to top it off I was so fucking paranoid I basically barricaded myself in my house at night... event put chairs in front of the doors as extra protection... then my phone was ringing in the kitchen so I walked down totally forgot about the chair I put in front on the basement door and took the chair to the face.

The morale of the story is..... Always keep your front door locked so you don't get cock blocked....

Based on a True Story

Chicago Blues.

So little news this weekend. I was quite worried that there’ll be no news what so ever! But, thank god for Roman coming in to the streets and announce that we have some endangerments in this thing of ours. Wait. That a good thing? Er…Who cares? Let’s start out with their names: Silvio EvilClown, Space Pole, and Cruel. This past week all four have been angering the city of Chicago. All have past ancestors of rouges or conspiracies and etc. Aside from the past of Silvio. I can’t really tell you why his choices to leave his family and start one of his own. Roman continues to talk to himself? Asking and answering his own questions. To see the rest of the story. Here’s what my reporters caught from the speech: http://mafiareturns.com/comm/thread/184798

The Hit-list Change:

As I was walking along OOC Avenue. Squishy (The kings of kings in the mafia world.) was in the streets preaching about the new changes of the mafia world! Because, of the high prices of these Hit List lately such as the 25M hit on Stamina two weeks ago. The prices to pay off the police to take down the posters along the streets from 2X the price. To 1.25X the price. So to make example of the Stamina hit. The price besides of 50M to pay off the hit. It be 31.25M. A 29M decrease. And, it well make everything cheaper for people.

Tributes:

Current Tributes to Mob News: $0

Tributers: None.

Well er… This is embarrassing. But, if you like your name into the paper or just quite enjoy it. Help the fund to Mob News to help my Mnt Dew addiction. Any price will be welcome. Thank you very much.

Good Bye:

Well this was a poor paper I have to say for myself. The lack of news I could gather this week was quite sad. Next weeks issue will be a lot better! Next week I hope for another story. A contest. And, an interview with a Crew Leader or RHM. That is all for this issue. Thank you and help me get Albert back!

Also like to include. Any mistakes I made or offend anyone is strickly to me. If a story offends you please mail me. Thank that is all.

HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!

Don`t worry Sweeney I`ll get Mr. Albert back for you.

The hulkster holds up his hands to clap and applaud when all of a sudden this happened...

The hulkster hits the floor. The tears that began streaming from his face were out of sheer pain, the emotional kind. Hogan was just about to say something nice about sweeneys paper when Sweeney hit him in the face.

WHY DUDE!?

The fetal position. The hulkster. The cheap shot. The pain.
-------------------------------------
To: Hogan
From: Sweeney
Subject:

Punches you in the face and runs

MWHAHAHAHA

Great to see Mob News back on the streets.

Looking forward to the next edition already, and can't wait for some high quality interviews and contests.

Keep up the fine work, Sweeney.

Marionette took the words straight from my mouth,

Excellent job Sweeney

Pretty entertaining, takes some seriousness off things. I'm looking forward to your next edition!

Will get this Reward Money of: 500,000K? thats 100million

Are you sure on that thepunchingbag?


Surely 500,000k is 500 million....

It's actually 500 million, that's a great reward, though I bet it's in peanuts or some obscure currency.

Nice read though and not too long for my weary eyes.

Stroking Mr. Albert Gallifrey hears people talk about MobNews and the pp comp. Gallifrey only chuckles to himself and scampers back into the dark alley

500* haha my bet

LATER THAT DAY IN THE NANNY SYNDICATE HQ!:

Sweeney's steady eye traces ThePunchingBag like a hulk while he's talking to Mrs. Doubtfire in the distance. Sweeney looks at his leg. The same leg that took out Hogan. Sweeney peeks out the corner and see if anyone is looking. Sweeney took his chance. He starts sprinting to ThePunchingBag and high kicks him. Then, turns around and pushes down the Nanny over ThePunchingBag's body. Sweeney runs off to the dark.

It's fucking 500K!

Sweeney feels proud and skips the way down to the streets hoping for Mr. Albert to return.

Mobsters don't skip, Sweeney. Great paper as usual. Keep em' coming

A great read Sweeney, good job.

Great read Sweeney, can't wait for the next issue.

love the Paper! Can't wait for another read!

TionShyne walks up with puffing on his cigar.

Hey Sweeney, was a decent read this time around. Shame It was a tad bit short, but I still enjoyed it. Hopefully next time things may be a bit more eventful. Yeah that's about it for me. Story time with anonymous was a bit awkward, but hey at least it was something different. Keep up the good work. Looking forward for the next issue of Mob News.

Takes a few more puffs from his cigar then tosses it into the gutter as he wonders off down the street and around the corner.

Good read, look forward to the next issue.

"Quite a bit different from Chuckle's papers, which is what I'm used to, but it was quite good nonetheless."

Simplicity said as she read over the Mob New's. She then looked up and smiled.

"I look forward to you next piece of work. Sorry for taking so long to pick up one of your papers! I've been quite busy with my work this week."

Then nodding to those around her, she made her way down the sidewalk before making a turn to head back to her family's bar.