JubTheNub, the humongous grub-fueled mass that he was, thought that it was time that his voice was heard by the public at large.

It was a right HE HAD EARNED through his own hard work, his own blood sweat and tears: He had an impressive track-record of purse-snatchings, he was known for expertly cleaning the "worm HQ" soup kitchens. And most important of all, he was a Goomba (a most prestigious rank, though a somewhat endangered species due to the Goomba-poaching frequently perpetrated by "the kukus").

Yes, JubTheNub was filled to the brim with confidence that the masses CLAMORED for the sage wisdom contained in his Intellectually Developed Philosopher King's mind, to be given form through his pudgy mouth.

Jub, in old and cliched fashion, grabbed the nearest soapbox he could find and slammed it down with a loud crash onto the street to grab the attention of passerbys. Several people looked startled.

JubTheNub, with great difficulty, managed to lift his right leg onto the soapbox, but something unexpected happened. As he was shifting his uncountable weight into the soapbox, the wood creaking in pain under his corpulence, the box gave out and simply caved in.

Feeling the box give out under him, and being unable to stop the mighty movement that already set in motion (Force equals mass times acceleration after all, and there was a lot of mass involved here), Jub started falling forward.

As he was falling, Jub, in an inexplicably calm state of mind considering his impending impact into the pavement, reflected that perhaps he had gotten too ambitious. Perhaps he was wrong to try and climb that box. Perhaps he had flown too close to the sun. Maybe he should've just spent some more time in the soup kitchens.

Eventually Jub hit the ground with a loud thud, causing a tremor comparable to that of a magnitude 5 earthquake. He kind of looked like a fallen over, and rapidly deflating, inflatable mascott. It was a sad image. Not one that would inspire pity, but one that would give rise to contempt.

The public was not to hear a speech from JubTheNub today, only the broken wail of a man who fell flat on his face.

"AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE".