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A Toast to the Infamous Started by: enkindle on Mar 17, '23 07:15

In a city where chaos reigned supreme,
Where illegal hooch flowed just like a dream,
A player emerged with a style so fly,
Shooting in the streets, not a care for the sky.
A reputation spread, both far and wide,
His name so cool, no one could hide.
He'd sling the drinks, making a fortune or two,
All while his name grew, folks had no clue.
With each passing day, his notoriety soared,
The whispers of his name struck a vibrant chord.
But despite his fame, he remained quite discreet,
A master of disguise, not an easy feat.
So, raise your glass and tip your hat,
To the man who ruled the streets like a sly aristocrat.
For in this world of darkness, one name stood tall,
A legend in his own right, none other than... Balls!


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In my completely humble and entirely unbiased opinion this is the best thing I've ever read.


Thank you enkindle and ChatGPT for enriching all of our lives by creating and sharing this.

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A new version...

In the roaring twenties, a gangster rose
His reputation preceded him, everyone knows
Physical altercations, he'd come out on top
Illegal booze trade, he couldn't be stopped

Auto theft was his bread and butter
Shootouts in the streets, he'd never stutter
A competent man, feared and respected
But little did they know, he's quite inepted

His plans always seem to go awry
Mistakes that would make others cry
A bumbling buffoon, he couldn't catch a break
But he kept on trying, for goodness sake

His crew tried to teach him the ropes
But alas, he just couldn't cope
He tripped and stumbled, fell on his face
A complete mess, all over the place

And then one day, the truth was revealed
His name was Balls, it was quite surreal
The gangster who couldn't get anything right
His reputation was tarnished, it lost its might

So let this be a lesson to all
No matter how big, no matter how tall
Even the toughest can be a joke
And sometimes, their name is Balls.

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Ok, one last version. This one got a little mean.


In the Roaring Twenties, there was a gangster so grand,
A man feared by all across the land.
He was known as the Bee's knees, the Cat's meow,
A bootlegger, a thief, with a violent know-how.

Balls was his name, and he ruled with an iron fist,
His foes knew well to cross him off their list.
He started out strong, with a serious demeanor,
But soon it became clear he was a clumsy schemer.

Physical altercations were his forte,
But his aim was often astray.
In shootouts in the streets, he'd always be found,
Firing his gun, and hitting the ground.

He ran a Speakeasy that served Hooch,
His Jalopy was fast, but always in need of a tune-up.
Auto theft was his game, and he had quite a racket,
But with every job, his plans, he'd always hack it.

His dough was running thin, his gang on the brink,
And Balls' incompetence, he couldn't think.
His grand plans always seemed to go awry,
His bumbling actions always led to a sigh.

But he never gave up, no matter how dire,
For Balls was determined, with a heart full of fire.
He may have been a buffoon, but he was still a gangster,
And in the end, he'd always come out with a swagger.

So here's to Balls, the bumbling mafia king,
A man of many faults, but always wearing a bling.
He may not have been the best, but he never gave in,
And that's why we'll always remember him.

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Damnit enkindle, I was enjoying this until the latest two. Why you gotta do me like that bro?! Could've had people fooled into thinking I was awesome, but now they know the sad and slightly funny truth. 

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