When asked why Wilson joined a cult he simply said:

"They offered the moon and drugs"

He said it as he dazed off into the sky. His eyes were big as saucers. The happiness of a child spread across his face. The officers didn't know what to do with him. 

"Let's just leave him here." One said. Giving up.

"Leave him here??!" Another hissed. As if his buddy just suggested they leave a live bomb right there in the middle of the park. Wilson did look...roundish. But he wasn't no bomb. He was much better looking than a bomb. However, he didn't taste better than a bomb. And that was a story for another day.

"Yeah, I don't see the big deal. What are we supposed to do with him?"

"Tim, there are children everywhere." The hissing cop dragged out the word everywhere. He also used his arms as if he was that lady in the alps spinning on the cover of the sound of music as if to emphasize the kids being everywhere. There were no kids. Anywhere.

"There aren't any kids anywhere." Said Tim, validating my point. 

"Yeah, but there could be." Hisser was getting sassy now. He even rolled his goddamned eyes. 

"Sure, with that logic there could always be kids round always."

"Stop it, Tim. I don't want you to get an attitude with me."

"An attitude??"

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb."

"No, Jeff. I don't think I know what you are talking about."

Jeff sighed. It was a big sigh. It almost pulled Wilson out of his trance. Almost. But then he went back to looking at whatever he was looking at and the officers continued to squabble above him. 

"Tim, what is going on with you today? First the scene you pulled at the donut shop and now this. Did Betty join that book club again and hasn't had a decent meal on the table for you in weeks?"

Jeff said book club with air quotes. Like he literally used his fingers to quote book club as he said it. Everyone knew that book club in air quotes meant that Tim's wife Betty was cheating on him again. Well, everyone except Tim knew. 

Jeff would feel bad for the guy, but Jeff mostly felt bad for Betty. Tim was an okay guy, but being mediocre didn't get you into as many places these days. You had to be something to make it in a city like this and Tim just wasn't something special. Honestly, Jeff had more respect for Betty when she stepped out of her marriage with Tim than when she was in a bout of faithfulness to him. Betty was living her best damn life when she was getting that not Tim D. 

"Jeff, I told you not to talk about Betty like that. She's a good Christian girl."

"Sure, Tim. Sure."

For a moment Tim looked like he was going to cry and then it looked like he was going to punch his partner, Jeff. But then he just turned around and grabbed his face and just held his chin in his palm. If it was anyone else you'd think he was deep in thought. But it was Tim and Tim had no thoughts in his damn head. I mean, he was a police officer. They were kind of required to not have much of a brain. Simple math, sure. Anything else and it'd be a problem.

Jeff looked at Tim for a little longer, but when Tim still just stood there looking like he didn't have one damn thought in his big head probably full of air. Seriously y'all. It was the 1920's or 30's. Modern science wasn't really a thing and Jeff really thought his partner's head was full of air with an itty bitty brain. To match his.....his....shoe size.

But Jeff liked Tim's....shoe size. He liked it way better than Betty did. One of the other reasons Jeff liked it was when Betty was out with other guys. Meant Jeff could have slumber parties with Tim at Tim's house. 

Just as Jeff was lost in fantasy regarding Tim's....shoe size, Wilson burped. 

"Damnit" Tim shouted. Who I guess had forgotten about the streaker. Tim turned around quickly. "What are we going to do with this damn guy."

"Sir, sir, what are you doing here?" Jeff asked Wilson once again.

"They offered the moon and drugs" Wilson replied. 

The sun was high, but it was past noon. The officers stood around Wilson, who had been running naked through a park, and that is why he and the officers were in the park in the middle of the day but past noon. The officers still didn't know what to do with him. It was because Wilson was running naked in the park. Which I guess was against the law?

I mean, how, me, the cult leader, how was I supposed to know that?

"Fuck. Let's just leave him here." Jeff said, his shoulders dropping.

"Good call, bud." Tim said. He knew this decision defeated his friend. "I'll give you a massage in the car. I can see your neck muscles are so tense."

So, the officers, the partners, the friends, and the lovers left Wilson naked in the park. 

"They offered the moon and drugs"

Wilson wasn't wrong. We did offer him the moon and the drugs.