Well, hello again my friends.  This is simply me, MrKuku, here to share some stories from my lineage.

I don't do requests, so don't even bother asking, unless you have some cash.  Yeah?

First up is a story from the Detroit basketball era.  Maybe Duchess can help me out here, but my journals talk about how that crew were riding high having won the war having only killed one allied pro-wacker.  Keeping that pace of excellence up was challenging.  Also in Detroit was a fellow of the Dave lineage.  Dave captured the attention of a few big cheeses with his hugely successful counterintelligence practises.  This was noticed by the late, great HeadCoach and also "Grin"

A fellow named Fareham also hated Grin, and HeadCoach, in a stunning piece of management theory, allowed his members to occasionally shoot at each other to "let off steam"

But it was managed well.  Only one shot.  Fareham was granted auth to pop a shot off at Grin.  He missed.  All good. 

BUT WAIT!

Dave auth'd a second shot.  This was a bona fide inter Detroit attack.  Grin was furious.  Fareham was scared.  Dave...  I can't imagine how he felt.

Nobody died.  But it was close.

Interesting, i promise i didn't slept during the reading. Also, whete is the focus (or whatever its called) group proof MrKuku? I'm waiting. You offered, i said yes, because truly i want to know if people (and who ffs) wants to read about Grin/Kuku lineage. 

It appears the whiskey was travelling fast into Roya's organism and she gagged a little mistaking the word "where" for "whete". She giggled thinking what the fuck was a whete anyway?

Jub's face contorted into a look of such abject disappointment that it had more wrinkles than that of Duchess.

"I came here expecting to hear stories of the systematically immolated kind but I've only heard a historical reminiscence of a time when men were still skillfully dribbling basketballs, slapping each other's buttocks with wet towels in the showers after a victory in the b-ball courts, and when friendly BG wackings were both an encouraged and celebrated practice."

"How is this related to SIoT? What part of this story (or future stories) is Systematically Immolated? Is branding this as SIoT just a cheap marketing ploy? Where is the bribe money I was promised in vague terms for not writing more issues of Systematic Immolation of Restaurants?"

"My questions are numerous."

After a while Roya came back and addressed the good people listening to MrKuku's speech.

"Hear, hear people. I exchanged letters with MrKuku, because he told me he could provide evidence that people really wanted to read about the little Twilight story of Grin/Kuku, which i personally never even heard about and couldn't give more fucks. But i was so curious to know who in their right mind would want this jurassic story on a newspaper, that i accepted and asked him twice for the so famous proof. I received a letter from him today and answered, knowing well that exposing it might seem at the least rude, but i felt i needed to share with everyone, as i've saw other people asking for proof of the existence of this 'focus group' and needed to warn them for possible scams. Good to know i'm not the only one. Anyway, i digress. He sent me this letter and i replied. Some words are changed for the sake of our own streets, but i assure you that this is real. The changed words are highlighted and cutely surrounded by *'s.

To: MrKuku
From: Roya
Sent: Apr 28, '23 12:27
Subject: Focus group

Loooool, you're a piece of art. I regret even accepting your "invite" for proof. Go scam someone else. You embarrass yourself, anyone with a little tiny bit of dignity would gladly and eagerly provide evidence. You simply dont care about your honor and how people see you, you like being hated, annoying, you like being viwed as a conflict starter and as a stone in the shoe. You're not a simple, you're not a complete moron, you could make something good, but you insist on this shit. Please, wake up to spit. Also, i never fucking see you in *AA REUNIONS*. The minute i get into an argument i see you there meddling and rovering like a vulture and trying to pervert my words. Gee, man. I always wonder if you're in front of your *SOAPBOX* laughing and thinking how silly people are for getting angry at your *OPINIONS* or if you really serious about all of this. I really hope you're the first option, because if you're serious, you've got some insane mad deep crazy fucking issues.

To: Roya
From: MrKuku
Sent: Apr 28, '23 12:06
Subject: Focus group

I could give you access but I'd need a $25m deposit as I'd be giving you my *DIARY* details 

"And that was it. As for my attitude, i must justify that my blood isn't the same as a cockroach's, meaning to this roughly translated nonsense about gross insects, is that my patience has limits and the wondeful Lord of the great bullshitness MrKuku has already used it and danced the rumba on top of it, so the end."

"Oh, also about your newspaper: you have been measured, weighted, and you've been found wanting. Cheers!"

Roya raises her whiskey flask.

To be fair, this isn't evidence there isn't a focus group, just that you didn't want to pay 25 million for the privilege of knowing. I choose to believe in the focus group. The focus group is good and it is real. All hail the focus group. 

Duchess, if you give a brief into Dave's spycatching, you can see the entire focus group(s).

Even my enemies will acknowledge that I have extreme talent when it comes to this community's media operations.

I'm also proving all my critics wrong by being a productive member of my crew, paying debts, and writing newspapers.  I haven't shot anyone.

"Duchess, once upon a time the Catholic church said and demanded and squeaked and sweared that the Earth was the center of the universe and the peasants, because the poor fuckers were illiterate and would believe that chicken feathers if burried in sacred soil during a full moon would bring the power of lice imunity, believed anything that were throwed at them. Of course, they could question it, but they were so dumb and accommodated and used to being leaded like fluffly sheep's (and also that they would be put into an oven, rounding and being roasted to death), that they didnt question and believed blindly. Simpleton fuckers, bootlicking asskissers and terrified shells of human beings, they were. Anyways, i forgot the point. But a swag guy named Galileo i think, was it Galileo or Isaac Newton? Im confused, i smelled the hair of the girl seated in my front chair, her name was idiotic but her hair smelled like Spring, Jane Austen's romances and anal orgasms. Thats why i'm confused, missed the lessons because i was sniffing hair. But it was probably Galileo. Anyway, he came in front of the Catholic church and basically told the pope to fuck off when he rubbed his proven and scientifically proven and proven proven with proof and evidence, is that clear? Proven. Continuing and perhaps not reaching a valid point but trying very hard, the Catholic church stomped its feet like a spoiled child, supposedly because according to God and the bible, Earth was a queen and no fucking fat planet or star or sun could be the center of the universe, but the splendid God creation aka Earth. Because yes, we rule bitch. But i think what they really mostly felt bad for it was for being contradicted, like HOW DARE SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH MY ULTIMATE ACCURATE AND TAKEN FROM A PIECE OF SHITTY PAPER WRITTEN BY CONSERVATIVE MEN AND OWNER OF SLAVES AND STONERS OF WOMEN, BE QUESTIONED? Well. I forgot my point again, i guess it was something like "please, start questioning and stop sucking ass because it sucks and Galileo will frown upon it and think you're a little brainless weakling"

What the hell has this place devolved into?

Roya I am all in on this focus group and, if anything, your insane ranting is only causing me to grow more entrenched in my position

"Duchess i'm in absolut glee! I'm always glad to help a simpleton improves his narrow-minded beliefs. Society needs brainless robot operary bees too! What a splendid bliss to help you achieve greatness on your role on society. If you need more, please reach me out. I'll be delighted to keep pointing you at the right direction, the asskissers line."

I'm not sure I've ever seen someone so worked up over focus groups but you are on a crusade and I fear you will never reach Jerusalem

Roya, what is operary?

You've upset @KieronMoore.  Please stop.

Duchess is the best we have, and us three now know The Truth about focus groups

MrKuku i think operary is something that doctors do on fucked up people or a place where people are singing opera, isn't it? I'm not sure. Little help here?

Who's KieronMoore? Is he the brother of a girl named Demi? I dated her on highschool, she had a weird fetiche with ghost costumes.

If Duchess is the best you have, i really cannot wait for seeing the worst. Damn, i need a good loud laugh.

"Also, for fuck sake, this is outrageous. This weird guy WhereWasI written endless fucking cult philosophical stuff about toasters and is applauded and remembered decades later, and i write some actually good informative stuff about society, churches, peasants and orgasms and its called "insane ranting". Guess i'm envious and perhaps in 20 years my philosophy will be appreciated too." Roya walks away and thinks of cutting off an ear to speed up the process.

Roya I guess I just don't know what's so weird about believing in a focus group that was run publicly and that we all were invited to participate in; it's not a huge leap of faith and certainly not obfuscated enough to warrant your self-aggrandizing about being a Galilean hero in the intellectual darkness

Does anyone have ideas for the next focus group?  It definitely exists 

Roya approaches once again, carrying a wooden box. She steps on the soapbox and starts speaking, for whoever wants to listen:

"Good afternoon, folks. I'll now talk about what happened a couple of days ago and explain the content of this wooden box. I was pretty sure i already did this here, but perhaps i was dreaming, completely drunk, extremely high on cocaine or too sleep deprived. I'm gonna say it was probably all of the above. Anyway, after i exposed MrKuku on his failed attempt to extort me out of twenty-five million dollars, just so i could see proof of the (in)famous focus group, i almost immediately received this wooden box. MrKuku's errand boy/mailman must be incredibly fast." @Roya coughs and continues "I opened the box, which looked like a classic suggestion box and there were several pieces of paper inside. I proceeded to read them one by one and indeed, there was someone who asked for the Kuku/Grin story. Who in their right mind would do that, i really don't know, but that's how democracy goes. Gotta hate it sometimes, right? Continuing, i will now share some of the entries. He specifically asked me not to share them, but of fucking course i will, since i don't want anyone to be (as he like to call it) "fleeced" out of twenty-five million dollars, even if i think there's nobody dumb enough to fall for it." @Roya stops for a second and remembers there's actually stupid people that got scammed from MrKuku's relatives and corrects herself "Heh, there are some people, i forgot. Anyway, here's one of the most interesting entries:"

How Nuccio saked his own citty and somehow was allowed to reatreat to LA

The breakup of SassyPearWormette's relative and Goku

The death of Oustkast

What happened to Grin?

I don't care

Isabella being an idiot, telling someone her incognito and then dying and trying to drag *The Gods* into it

I really don't care

I ALREADY ANSWERED THIS

The breakup of SassyPearWormette's relative and Revan

Lucky killing a former LA RH HaroldBogtrotter who followed orders and flew back during war

"Those are just some of them, there's more. I confess that i'm a layman in studying caligraphy, so i could not verify if those entries aren't forged. Also i'm completely drunk, as usual, so i couldn't give more fucks. MrKuku could have simply written them himself or there could be lots of entries written by the same people. There's no way for me to know, so again, agains't MrKuku's "approval", if anyone want to see the contents of this box for themselves, just send me a letter and i'll gladly share it with you the same way i received it and i'll not charge you a single penny for it. Of course, they could be real. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he stopped with the lying and fuckery (at least when it comes to this focus group)." She stops for a second and then speaks looking directly at MrKuku:

"Of all the suggestions above you picked the one about your own lineage and that's so fucking funny! What a huge damn ego, my man!" @Roya bursts laughing and then addresses Duchess:

"Oh dearie, i'm not aggrandizing myself, neither i consider myself a galilean hero, i was merely trying to share a little story. Is that such a bad thing? Bug i'm glad you see me that way, who doesn't love to have fans?"

@Roya blows a kiss.

"Please, don't mind the misspelling, im usually not that dumb. It's just difficult for me to get things 100% right when i'm doing it with the help of this asian guy here" Roya points at a thin old man. He was walking slowly as a turtle, following her. "His name is Samwell Suung, but i just call him Sam. He came from China to help me with business a few years ago and now he's too old and clumsy to actually do anything. He just follows me around. Anyway, back to my whiskey."

Roya gestures for her huge bodyguard to grab Mr. Sam Suung and they trotted off to the nearest bar.