Not for the first time, a Kuku is line for the prestigious position of Leader of the Streets.

This is not, and will not be, a title I take lightly.  That is if you, the people, decide that I am fit to lead the Streets.

Presently the Streets have been led by Roya, who I consider a friend of mine.  And it is in that spirit of friendship that I say: please, allow someone else to step up.  To transcend the current malaise and psychedelia that has gripped the Streets.

I believe that I am the right person at the right time to lead the Streets.

I offer you all, particularly Mr Moore, the hand of friendship and the spirit of cooperation.   

I will continue with the focus groups, offering proof where necessary.

I will continue to dig deep into that stories that matter.

I will make public the attempts of one bloodline fo FINALLY settle an outstanding debt with a CL.

I will investigate bloodlines, and bloodline feuds.

I will give YOU all something OF HIGH QUALITY to read most days.

This is why YOIU should allow ME to Lead the STREETS.

Thank you all, my dear friends.

I have yet to hear you discuss the intricacies of anal orgasms or the migratory habits of gnus. Until such time as you can broaden your discourse to include these relevant topics, you will never be the Leader of the Streets (LotS).

simpleton, those topics have no place on these streets.  Keep that to the back alleys.

I'm keeping the streets well led, clean, informative.

I'm working on a special publication with an old friend, who I'll refer to as KM.

Breakfast cereals have made a surprising appearance at a recent focus group, so we're looking into that.

Museli.

Roya was a little tired from going back and forth to the Streets, but i guess it was her punishment for enjoy annoying MrKuku. Every good thing has its bad side. And undoubtly, there he was again.

"First, i would like to say that i have never thought of myself as Leader of the Streets." Roya said "Second, i don't think you're being sincere in saying you see me as a friend, specially since i killed 4 of your relatives in the past. And i have also called you names. But i must say, as much as i enjoyed our good bickerings, i cannot consider you my friend. Perhaps my arch-rival or adversary. And lastly, please, by all means lead our streets if you can, bring us good (and not boring un-news from decades ago, for fuck sake) content, make us happy. I don't know why, but i'm actually rooting for your success this time."

Roya then looks at simpleton and says:

"Thanks a fucking splendid idea! I would love to read more about that!!!"

Could Wellerman and Duchess second and third me for De Facto LOTS status, please?

We need to sort this out.

I've seen this title/acronym mentioned a few times now. I can only presume that if it is referring to you it stands for Lord of the Shit?

You sir, are a Lord. Of shit. Shitlord.

TinyTim - Sir, is this about that mugging incident?

Unfortunately not; my ego is not quite as inflated as yours. 

I would like you to allocate me a subject for the next edition of your highly successful newspaper. 

I believe I have plenty to add. 

Thank you Hobo_Wins.  How are you?

MrKuku, there is no need to investigate the HeadCoach era in Detroit, as I know everything there is to know about it. I was very good friends with his wife as it goes. 

Myself, my brother, and my cousin were also very good friends with his wife. If you ever wanted to know what HeadCoach was up to, she could tell you. I can't tell you how many times I heard her say "Oh, he'll be mandating power squats at an intersection in Las Vegas until around 6:00, then he will be back in Detroit by 8:00, stopping at the 12th Street Public Toilets on his way home. He will not be stopping by the library tonight, either. He won't be home until 10:27".

It was amazing how she was always able to predict his arrival home to the exact minute.