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| Jail Break Ind. | Started by: j0ngott1 on Apr 23, '08 04:23 |
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A giant walks out into the streets. Women and children run to their homes in a blind panic, lest their bones be ground to make his bread. When he come to a stop in the doorway of a bar only a brave few are left to hear him talk. Ladies and gentlemen I come to you today to tell you about a new business venture that I and my faithful Captain are excited to begin. Starting today, in the Bar District of New York a recently renovated office will be open for business. Should this succeed, as are our expectations, then this shall hopefully bring a wave of mafioso into our great city for theirs and our benefit. The life of crime that we have all chosen is a dangerous one. We knew the dangers and the prospective threats that we would all face when we entered this so called 'Under-World'. We go through our lives with the threat of violence, theft, and imprisonment, to name but a few, dangling over our heads like the famed sword of Damocles. So what do we do? We exact revenge on the people who have wronged us, we kill those who attack us, and we break our incarcerated brothers (and sisters) out of jail. It is the latter that I have come to talk with you about today. Allow me to explain what this business will offer the six great cities at large. To break our friends/buddies/com padres/comrades out of jail takes practice. Practice as we all know makes perfect, but how easy is it to garner the relevant experience? Some of us may find it easy I know. For others, perhaps it's not so easy. Many of you will know that some mafioso in the six cities run jail break experience camps, where someone, perhaps even a group of people, will pay for the pleasure of learning how to break/bust fellow mafioso out of specially designed Prisons. This inexorably gives us all a great boost knowing that the possibility of staying a full sentence in "real" jail is greatly lowered. But how many of us know exactly who provides these services? I for one have to claim a lack of knowledge as to the names of the owners of such businesses and thus, when I have a bit of free time on my hands am at a loss as to how to hone my skills. Jail Break Ind. wants to help solve this. For the low premium of $100,000 a week Jail Break Ind. will allow these fellow businessmen to advertise with them. This will, in theory, make the businessmen money, make the City of NY (the criminal side anyway) money, and help improve the skills of the jail breaking fraternity. $100,000 will buy you advertising space and a spot in the Jail Break Camp Rollerdex where you will be more likely to get noticed by your future clients. (Failure to keep up with your payments will of course result in the retraction of your advert and inclusion in the Rollerdex.) An advertisement with Jail Break Ind. would look as follows. Business Name: The Jail Break Experience Prices: 100k per Session Special Offers/Price Breaks: Buy one session for 100k get your second one for 50k! Business Motto: The Jail Break Experience, giving you the skills needed to rescue your fellow man from THE man. And thats really all there is too it. Business for all the six cities entrepreneurs will hopefully be boosted by the addition of this new forum and the City of New York will get an influx of visitors. It's win win. I look forward to speaking with you about this new enterprise. Thanks to you all, j0nathon C. gott1 ......... If you have noticed any errors/inconsistencies in this speech please make a note of them all, write them down on a piece of paper, stick it in an envelope, address it to me, then fold it up and pop it up your bottom. |
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Listens to the speech and nods his head while dreaming of dollar bills You know business is business in our world and jails are a beast of a business. Millions of dollars goes into jails and criminals and the system are in constant termoil thanks to services such as this. I look forward to conducting business with you and wish your business the best of luck. New York is a 24/7 city and business is booming! Tils his head to the left.. cracking it softly before walking away |
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| Reply by: Alfonzo at Apr 23, '08 16:48 | |
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Nods his head with approval and begins to mutter a few words... An innovative idea Mr Gott1. I admire your entrepreneurial expertise. If anything this will be beneficial for all New Yorkers and all visitors to the city. An increase in suppliers of the aforementioned crackdowns will lead to an increase in competition of those vying for custom. This in turn should lead to a reduction in prices. Simple rules of supply and demand. I've seen some people advertising their services for $250k a crackdown, this is extortionate in my eyes. Hopefully having a centrally held list of suppliers advertising their services in New York will both increase the amount of jail activity and also reduce costs. Simple but effective... Wanders off kicking himself for not thinking of that first... |
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| Reply by: Paul_Kersey at Apr 23, '08 19:04 | |
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The grand opening of Jail Break Industries. It gives me great pleasure to tell you that Jail Break Ind. is finally open and operational. All you Crackdown Salesmen get in touch with us and advertise your business. You make money, we make money. It's a happy little agreement. Let us all become fat and rich. Allow me to direct you to our oh so recently renovated offices. Jail Break Industries, New York Bar District Hopefully this will be the first of many new, profitable businesses to set up in our fine Bar District. Myself, Deviant and AlfonsiTimello (the proprietor) look forward to hearing from you. j0ngott1 |
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| Reply by: j0ngott1 at Apr 25, '08 03:57 | |
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Hello to everyone, I would just like to inform everyone that we are officially OPEN for business. I encourage anyone who sells jail breaks to come to NY and check us out. Seeing as how Mr Gott1 and Deviant, are busy folks these days I'll be taking care of posting your ads. So if anyone is interested please drop me a line and let me know so we can get your ad out there for buisness. Its only a low price of 100k per week to keep your ad in there so I encourage you to give it a shot. It can only help your buisness! :) ............. I hope to hear from some of you soon. Alfonsi Timello |
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| Reply by: AlfonsiTimello at Apr 25, '08 04:14 | |
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What a collaboration! j0ngott1, who's actively trying to recruit my mother into a life of crime, gott1, I don't care what you say about how good her breakfasts are, shes not into this life! Deviant, who has a hitsquad of trained midget assassins which he has strategically placed around the HQ to jump out and scare the shit out of me every 10 minutes! And finally AlfonsiTimello, the guy everybody loves but I happen to know he beats puppies and kittens. What could possibly go wrong? Disclaimer: The part about Alfonsi may not be entirely accurate. |
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| Reply by: _Rhuarc_ at Apr 25, '08 04:17 | |
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Damnit Noone was suppose to know about that...... What I do with my puppies and pussy is of noones concern :S LMAO. Just jokin... Rhuarc your the Man....... |
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| Reply by: AlfonsiTimello at Apr 25, '08 05:50 | |
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| Ladies and gents there is still ad space to fill so please consider. Stop by my office and we'll work something out. | |
| Reply by: AlfonsiTimello at May 02, '08 02:43 | |
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Well ladies and gents I am here to offer you a deal. Now business here is a little slow, as I expected but I can assure you this is both a great business for myself and a beneficial business for you aswell....Now I know some of you are thinking why should I pay to promote when I can put in my profile for free.....A good question indeed. Well I am here to tell you this today, For a one time offer I will give you your first week FREE of charge to try it out. If you are not satisfied with it your name will be erased from the rollerdex and that will be that. The reason I am doing this is because I want you to see that this can be a great way to maximize your profits if it is used correctly. I urge everyone to at least give it a try the firt week is free. If you choose that you like it and wish to stay they we will discuss further arrangments at that time. Thank you everyone for your time and I hope you all consider at least trying it out. Regards, ........... Alfonsi Timello |
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| Reply by: AlfonsiTimello at May 02, '08 09:57 | |
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