There was a party tonight and Colonel Ives had been invited. It was an exclusive party for the high-ranking members of the United States army. Each and every human meat taste varies from person to person, depending on their lives, professions, personalities, diets and beliefs. Colonel Ives had already tried many flavors. Beggars, poets, musicians, dancers, politics, athletes, even a member of royalty once:

Ives really wanted to try royal meat, so he went to Italy and in 9th July of 1900, hired a man named Gaetano Bresci to assassinate the King. What people didn't knew, is that the King had a doppelganger. This man, also named Umberto, looked exactly like him, was born on the same day as him, in the same city; married on the same day as him, to a woman also named Margarita; and opened the restaurant, which he owned, on the same day that King Umberto was crowned. On the day before the king's murder, the colonel killed the doppelganger and the next day, when the king's body was being prepared for burial, Ives cunningly exchanged their bodies. What is now buried underneath the Pantheon of Rome, is just the body of someone very similar to King Umberto I. Ives made a stew out of his meat, but was expecting more. Tasted arrogant without cause.

After a lot of trial and error, Colonel Ives found out the perfect type of meat for his palate, which was of his brothers in arms, US Army officer's meats. Nothing tasted better for him. So he was in absolute glee when the letter with the invitation to the party arrived at his home. He donned his most beautiful uniform, full of medals for honor and bravery, sharpened and hid his favorite knife inside the left boot and went to the party. Upon arriving, he discovered most of his acquaintances had died of old age. To be honest, for the Colonel, that was most splendid news. He always needed to be careful around people who knew him for a long time, because they would probably find weird the fact that Ives wasn't aging at all. So he started to mingle, confidently. Colonel Ives was always a charismatic and intelligent man and in no time, he was already surrounded by officers laughing and completely drawed to him.

To be continued.

Colonel_Ives is about as charismatic as a broken footstool 

And you're about as useful as one MrKuku

Goku, you're not even a VIP.  Need some help, son? 

MrKuku, I've sent you a few mails about your failure to pay me on the schedule to which we agreed upon. I'm bringing this to the streets as a warning to anyone who will deal with you in the future. Poking fun of one of my members is another black-mark on your already tarnished reputation. Be very careful.

I'm a cautious man, TheBeast, except when it comes to awarding competition prizes.  Then I'm overly generous, and the fact is that I've been abused and that includes by your member.

Do you know what it's like to be fleeced, TheBeast?  Let me tell you, it hurts.

I'm struggling to come up with HALF A MILLION DOLLARS A WEEK.  It's a lot of cash.

Which is why I wanted to pay some off on advance when I had that $175m.  But you wouldn't hear of it.

Clarity what I need to be careful of? 

You know I know what its like to be fleeced MrKuku. You had 175mil and offered me 5mil. Not a very good offer, since you owed 80mil. 

I very graciously offered a 60 mil price tag to clear your debt. I'm offering to take on the debt of my member now, lowering the price to 50mil, minus what you've paid. As to what you need to be careful of, Usually around this time, you decide to shoot a member or their bgs and self destruct. Don't do that.

I would not compromise my CL FutureStealer, so won't be shooting anyone or anything.

The administrative hassle of scraping $500k together a week is just too much.  How about the Colonel gives you $10m and I'll pick it up in 20 weeks? 

You won the lottery of 175 mil, 50mil shouldn't be a problem.

By the way, the colonel owes me nothing.

Ives was talking with some officers then realized some of the people from the mafia underworld had been invited to the party too. He approached and noticed his boss having a conversation with Kuku. He approached and listened for a while, then said:

"Kuku sent me 10 million of his own volition because someone plagiarized my writing.  I would like to quote something he said yesterday in a Writing Competition:"

MR COLLINS, I HAVE CONSULTED JOURNALS. 

And in doing have realised that hiring judges is no trivial expenditure.  I would therefore like to underwrite the judging costs and have taken the liberty of appointing a military office, and Jeremy as judges, paying them both $80m each.  Just confirm that this is OK with you and I'll approach the Commission. 

"If he offered 160million to pay for this, i reached the conclusion that he's not broke as he claims.

But if he pays his debt to you, boss, i would gladly send him 10 million dollars, just to see this old debt being paid. If he's honorable, i think this is the best way to proceed."

A waiter was passing by with glasses of bourbon. He grabbed one.

That's not necissary Colonel. I'll get my money from kuku.

Ives, you're like a dog with a bone with this. I split my winnings with you as a gesture of goodwill. There was no plagiarism. My entry was victorious, fair and square. I'm sorry that my writing earned me $20,000,000 and yours couldn't even get people to break stride and listen. That isn't my fault and I split my prize with you as I thought it would be a nice thing to do. Still you badmouth me all over town. Shocking.

This bitterness looks terrible on you and considering you're usually covered in the blood of thin, short, young men you've lured into alleys, that is saying something!

"Its Colonel Ives for you. And i'm not bitter at all, i walked with 10 million which i gambled and turned into 50, so actually i'm thankful that you plagiarized my work. Now i'm a rich man because of you. Cheers, mate!"

Ives raise his bourbon glass and laughs.

If you were any kind of an officer you'd give that money, that ill gotten money, to TheBeast

LAYLA!

 

woo woo woo woo woo! 

"Kuku, you are the one that scammed my boss and currently owes him, not me. Get a grip, 'son'. Also, this nonsensical conversation is making me thirsty, so i shall refill my drink and enjoy the party."

The Colonel walks away looking for more stimulating conversation.

Colonel_Ives, it was a distant relative of mine a long way back.  Out of respect to TheBeast, I decided to make amends. 

RESPECT.  LOOK IT UP!