It has been a while since The Colonel didn't go to a barber shop. He didn't even remembered when was the last time, all he knew is that his moustache was growing like the weeds that annoyingly threatened to overcome the chive, peppers, cherry and grape tomatoes he planted on his backyard.

So one day he was doing some chores around the house and cleaning his room. It was within his mission to clean the huge heart-shaped ceiling mirror on his bedroom out of all the body fluids and blood from his last victim.. i mean, date.

When he looked up, he noticed how terrible his mustache and beard had grown. He was looking like a fucking hermit or a caveman. So he thought "Thats it! I'm gonna fix this! A Colonel of the US army shouldn't walk around with a bird nest on his face!"

He immediately dropped the bucket, called a maid (his favorite one, a boring systematic virgo) and hurriedly went out making his way to the barber shop. Upon arriving he spotted his favorite barber and said:

"Ferguson! Fix my damned face for crying out loud!" His voice then started to get in a high pitched tone "For weeks now, i had birds flying into my face and some even threw pieces of straw at me. I think they were trying to nest. Do i look like i fucking rainforest? Im freaking out because the other day i dreamed about a spider walking on it. Do i look like a fuck rainforest? DO I? DO I? SHAVE ME!"

He hurried to the comfy chair like a butterfly ready to open his wings and prepared himself. The barber was smiling like a child about to open a Christmas gift.

"What a lucky day. I'll get to cut out what it seems like a wire fence out of a Crew Leader's face. Embarrasing for him, HA"

Then he started working. 69 hours of pleasure and torture later, the soaked up in sweat barber said:

"We are done. Finally. I'm glad i had my chainsaw here. Colonel, i gotta say... what the fuck? If you ain't getting some, doesn't mean you should walk around with a forest on yo face. Treat yourself, damnit! Anyway. Good for me. It will be $69 thousand dollars."

The Colonel then looked at the mirror and was shocked by the difference. He could even see his big lips now. What a pleasure. Going to the barber is really a fun time!

"Oh my" fenton says with a gasp as he bumps into the Colonel. 

"I barely recognised you there, youre looking fresh faced ready to take on the world!"

Fenton was getting a bit trampy and was in need of a cleanup himself, maybe he would go find this barber.

James was out and out stalking his latest pickpocket victim keeping an eye on his boss's safety when he overhead the conversation with Colonel Ives.

James muses to himself 'We can but hope the barber has a working razor blade/machete for esteemed crew leader Fenton. Lord knows that Barnett needs some work' He smirks and blends back into the shadows like some sort of kick-ass ninja.