James collects 1000 fliers from the local print office. Apparently, the sole journalist at The Harold has succumbed to bullet-related complications so the printing press was not in use. They had rushed this job for James due to the urgent nature. He hands the fliers to some local hoodlums.

"That’s right boys, I want these up everywhere".

Attention esteemed members of the very niche mafia / legal representation community.

A thrilling courtroom drama is set to unfold in "MAFIA COURT" ^TM and we are in need of a wise and impartial judge to preside over this captivating case. Are you ready to don the robe of justice and ensure a fair trial?

The Case: A high-stakes legal battle between James, the claimant, and Fenton, the defendant. The claims and counterclaims have set the stage for a riveting trial that demands the steady hand of an experienced judge.

Key Responsibilities

Impartiality: As the judge, your role is to ensure a fair and unbiased trial. We seek a candidate who can rise above personal biases, evaluate evidence objectively, and deliver a just verdict.

Legal Expertise: A deep understanding of the law, (Bird Law is not essential) courtroom procedures, and the ability to apply legal principles is essential. You will interpret and rule on objections, ensure a smooth trial process & resist all bribe attempts.

Decision-Making: The fate of the parties involved rests in your hands, do not fuck this up! Your ability to understand arguments, weigh evidence, ignore bullshit, and deliver clear judgment is crucial.

Qualifications:

Legal Experience: Extensive experience as a judge or attorney, preferably in high-profile cases or complex litigation, is highly desirable. Your familiarity with the intricacies of the legal system will be invaluable. Knowledge of the previous D0m1nic Vs Grin-22 case is appreciated but not essential.

Impartiality and Integrity: A reputation for fairness, integrity, and an unwavering commitment to justice is paramount. We are seeking a judge who can rise above external influences and make decisions solely based on the merits of the case.

Strong Communication: Excellent verbal and written communication skills are essential to effectively preside over the trial and deliver comprehensive judgments.

Rewards:

Recognition: Your expertise and contribution to the trial will be rewarded with Quad CA’s or better.

Opportunity to punish Fenton (Self-explanatory)

Ideally, we are looking for a candidate of the ‘flying porcine’ variety. If said expert does not make himself known we will accept all other applicants. Goobers need not apply. 

To apply or for further information, please contact James

Listen, I was promised an exciting legal battle to watch, popcorn in one hand and pen in the other.

What happened to this dispute? Was it the case preliminarily thrown out? Or was a private settlement reached? Was James demoted because of his legal threats? Why did I see TheWanderingJew walk around wearing a judge's wig the other day?

Is Grin somehow involved?

I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS

Waking up on a monday morning and finding out you've been fired via a job advert for your own job. 

This saddens me. 

Okay, okay, I know I was more than useless. I know I didn't do any work for you in the slightest aside from incriminate you. 

BUT don't I deserve the decency of a letter, to inform me you've kicked my little Jewish ass to the curb? 

Judging is hard.  And very expensive 

GokuGoKuku throws cake at Job

Judge this, Bitch

James Though I am not willing to take up the part of Judge for this trial, I am very much willing to take up the much more demanding role of "Standby Judge".

As a Standby Judge I will make sure not to guide and deliberate on the ongoing proceedings, nor will I proclaim any rulings. I will merely be on standby to the best of my efforts and ability, providing the best service available to this trial, the jury, the plaintiff and the defendant.

This does come with a price-tag but I assure you that you'll find it a more than worthwhile investment.