So there I be in Chicago and it was all like, windy and shit. I was like damn bro. Where this wind be coming from? I was chillin’ by the lake and I was tryina eat a hotdog, but the foil blew off and I was like shit, but then this crocodile Colonel_Ives comes strolling up and eats the foil off the ground, and I’m like damn bro you must be hungry.

Then like the crocodile stood up on two of its feet and they wanted to go chill at a bar and I was like cool story let’s go. So then we walked over to this bar and the bar was like yo that croc ain’t got no shoes, and I’m like damn bro why you walkin’ on the street with no shoes holmes. Shit. And that croc’s feet was mad nasty. Had like street gum and other shit. Don’t even get started on like the horned lookin’ nails.

So we got turned away from that spot and tried another, but everywhere we went they be like no shoes no service. No beer. So we like damn where the shoe store at, but the sun was down and they was all closed and I’m like croc you shit out of luck, we ain’t getting blasted tonight unless we be stoopin’ it with paper bum bag and some cigs and like sandwiches from that dope spot downtown. Croc was like shit I do that every night bro and I’m like cool bro, but you really need shoes if you tryina get down in this city.

So like then the croc scurried off and was all like swimmin’ with the fishes but actually and shit in the lake and I went to bed, and like the next afternoon I was at the waffle spot and along comes croc, and she got her feet all done up like this. And I be like damn croc you mad stylin deadass. Croc was all proud of them feets but I be like idk homie if that gonna roll at the club later cuz them bouncers be mad tight and they want legit shoes, not your marker pen kicks.

She like murmurs like a sad croc, and then MidpoinT rolls up with a bottle of vodka and a whore and he like when we be hittin up the bar esse. Corky be like hey bitches we gonna make mad puddles tonight. I be like yo croc still got no shoes. No shoes no service. They be like damn son. Shit, we was all s'posed to jiggle them Balls tonight on that dancehall floor. So we drank on the stoop again wit our bottles and some pills and smokes.

So the moral of this story is that Colonel_Ives needs shoes really badly if she wants to roll up to the club to get tipsy. Please help. I will be accepting donations to the cause. MidpoinT will too. Thank you for listening.

MidpoinT comes rolling up to the club with his vodka and his hoe. Getting out the whip he fucking be looking at this dickheads of bouncers. Understanding they probably aint understand this shit. Ive's be rocking some fresh ass air force 1's. Mid gets out the whip walking up to the fucking yung buhls who think they are bouncers and squares up.

"What youse dickheads doing not letting my croc in the club. Bunch of bitch ass salty mother fuckers." eyeballing them up and down. As he is told its fine. 

"Come on Ives we gonna go get you some real shoes. Fuck these yung buhls this jawn aint worth a shit." Middy spits at the weak ass bouncers and heads off to go drink and pop some bars on the stoop with everyone.

If we get this croc some ballin kicks she gonna look mad fly at the club, but here she be with the trash feet and dolla store permanent marker. They lookin busted and shit. Gotta get her ass to the salon for her busted ass feet and get a new weave. 'stead of some heels or summin, she grab some tims to cover up those rachet lookin things deadass. It ain't brick out but kid should get those covered like was December. Here we is sippin some malt and chillin and thuggin out all sus on a stoop when we could be hittin' the club and Croc could be copping the dummy thick chicken heads erry night. 

Midpoint in a show of loyalty had told Shoresy about a party happening up in Chi town, originally Shoresy was a little hesitant to go because he knew it would leave Petah unguarded for @DeadlySpikes to try and steal him but fortunately Mid told him that Spikes was actually one of the people hooking them up at the bar, so he left Petah a gun, a hockey stick and a beer before catching the first flight out to Chicago.

Upon arriving he saw his main guy Middy walking away from the club with a croc that had.... drawn on shoes? What the Fee Fye Foe Fuck?!

"Middy what the shit tits is going on? Why your main croc got no shoes and where is the party at? oh and where is that dirty dirty spiegel he better not be after my duck!!!" 

Corky was out here being all mad disappointed dem foo's not lettin her croc homie get all up in da club, due her ratchet ass excuse for shoes.  So she looked over to her peeps, and was all "We needs to get our asses outta here 'fore dat bouncer be catching these hands.  We need to get Colonel_Ives some dank ass shoes yo.  They need be so good, dat foo bouncer be knowin our croc da main character.  He be all dis croc got mad drip, not just cause she be makin mad puddles.  Speakin of puddles.  We need to keep her away from dem puddles, you know dat croc be loving to splash in warm puddles." 

Shoresy came rolling up yelling about a duck.  Corky turned to him.  

"No cap bro, you best be keepin that duck away from our croc.  She be eatin birds ya know!"

Shoresy confused as ever about anything not involving pucks or ducks was still wondering why this croc had drawn on shoes and when/where da party was at but as he got lost in thought (as he usually did) It was at that moment he saw an angel for he saw his bestie of besties, the light of his life, the gravy to his poutine, the stick to his puck! He saw ............... Corky! Upon seeing her he did he what he does better than anyone in the world, he took a deep breath...............................

"CORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

And then fell over from lack of breath........ 

Georgette was walking past just as Shoresy passed out. Eyeing the man laying there, then looking at those around him she shook her head. "Sawft like Swiss Cheese, this one." she said. 

Colonel_Ives was fucking pissed. He was out all night with DeadlySpike trying to find a bar or a club that would let him in without shoes. What was the fucking problem of not wearing shoes? For those who have thick callus and huge feet, its much more comfortable than walking in shoes. Its also charmy, specially if you're a green crocodile. The ladies love it and see it as a sign of manliness and strenght. FLEXES

So when they were barred at the entraces of every fucking club in town, they sat down and started wondering what would they do. They left and decided to meet the next day and while sleeping and dreaming about eating huge chunks of meat from his enemies dead bodies, the crocodile woke up and instantly thought of an idea! He bought a pen and with his little paws (a very difficult task because of his little paws), he drew shoes on his feet. DAMN, IM A CROCGENIUS, NOBODY WILL EVER NOTICE THAT ITS FAKE!

So he ran off to meet DeadlySpike again wearing his new fake shoes and he was like "Sup homie look at my new shoes". He looked at them and said between laughs "Damn youre a foo bro, they never gonna let us in" and they were like "okay lets at least try". So they went to a club again and the bouncer looked at the fake drawed shoes and narrowed his eyes and said "you gotta be fucking kidding me, that shits nasty. get the fuck outta here". And they were again with no clubs and bars and places to go. 

Thats when MidpoinT arrived and almost kicked the bouncers ass, but they calmed him down and they went to a bar that was a nude bar, where people were allowed to go naked, that was the only way for the crocodile to be allowed into a bar. So they went there and ordered some tequila shots and beers while talking about how unfair and CROCPHOBIC this world were. They needed to fight crocphobia badly. Thats when Shoresy arrived yelling that DeadlySpike was gonna steal his duck and they all started planning for a way to end CROCPHOBIA and DUCK ROBBERY, because that shits uncool as fuck (despite DeadlySpike complaining)

Then they went out of the bar drunkily laughing and singing on the streets when Corky appeared and jumped on the crocodiles back and hugged him and said "what da fack is that on your feet? i like you better without those stinky ass drawed shoes, its a sign of strenght" and the crocodile was like SEE I TOLD YOU GUYS, ITS A SIGN OF STRENGHT AND THE LADIES LOVE IT. FLEXES

Then they saw a huge puddle in the middle of the street and the crocodile jumped right into it going into a kind of crocodile ecstasy, they had to drag him out of the warm puddle before he went insane, and then a huge falcon flew right above their heads and the crocodile jumped and ate it.

Shoresy started crying and saying "dafak dude, this was cruel and unnecessary why the hell did you ate dat bird for?" and the croc apologized saying that he was hungry as fuck, while coughing out some feathers. Then Shoresy fainted after finally and drunkily realizing that Corky was by his side and the crocodile had to carry him like a baby all the way

They all went walking drunkily into the sunsets direction because it was already another day and they decided to take out all of their shoes and throw them away in support to their crocodile shoeless friend. And they were happy as fuck.