Dear Falstaff,

I don't frequent OOC avenue often, but I recently did, and I found myself in a bizarre place where people openly shame the men and women in power for their showing. In a twist of fate, I saw you there, sharing the same sentiments as others, except you went a step further and linked essentially demanded they kill themselves. You targeted my own uppers, no less, with your vitriol and bloodlust, and here lies my issue with you.

I am writing this letter to inform you that you are a coward. Without taking any real action of your own, you seek the removal of individuals in leadership who don't meet your expectations. As I consult my family journals, I've learned that doers shift society and make things happen, unlike the do-nothing nobodies who prey on the retirement of others. Ironically, in your pursuit to shame others, a greater shame fell upon yourself.

P.S. I would have addressed you on OOC avenue, but my therapist advises me that writing angry letters serves me better. I can't remember if I'm supposed to send them or not, but oh well, I already feel better.

Regards,

Reese.

Falstaff had been enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the big apple minding his own business when he happened to stumble off the sidewalk and out onto the streets, a place he had not visited in quite some time, he had come to find the grave yard he frequented had shown more life than the streets these past few weeks, to his surprise he happened to look down to see a flyer with his name on, it had clearly been written that very same day was fresh off the printing press.

‘Sonofabi…‘  Falstaff caught himself before finishing the expletive, he was all emotions all at once, he instinctively reached for his trusty Hamada Type semi-automatic pistol as he scoured the streets for the perpetrator of these heinous accusations, seeing nobody around he sighed out of relief, ‘This Witherspoon fella, no relation, is lucky my shot report matches his IQ or he’d be in big trouble’ he grumbled to himself.

Feeling it was best to return to his HQ before someone had the notion to take the abhorrent written words seriously, Falstaff jumped on the nearest horse, because apparently everyone has a fucking horse at the minute and returned to his HQ with haste.

Five minutes later…

‘A coward? A COWARD?!’ Falstaff slammed his fist down onto the desk, the Ginger Ninja stationary violently shaking at the force and Falstaff wincing whilst rubbing his fist, ‘This fucking guy’ he spat ‘this fucking guy’ at that very moment Ginge appeared in the doorway, wearing only a 7-iron and a frown, Falstaff began speaking ‘Ginge mate you wont fucking believe what I’ve just..’ ‘I fucking will believe you silly cunt, what are you playing at, are you trying to get yourself killed?’ Falstaff fighting back tears responded ‘but Ginge, this guy is calling out my honour, this is character assassination’ Ginge interjected before the wise guy could finish speaking ‘it’ll be some kind of assassination if you don’t cut it out you tit, I don’t want you arguing with this retard from Detroit or anywhere else for that matter’ Falstaff opening his mouth to speak but it took him a minute to find the words, ‘Boss I’m pretty sure you can’t say that’ Ginge simply shook his head and walked away, his peachy little butt jiggling as he turned the corner.

Falstaff looked at the flyer again, his jaw clenching, he spun in his chair whilst trying to think, goddamn bootlicker he thought, can’t even criticise a bunch of lazy bastards without someone else chiming in, then again, it’s not like they’re even here to defend themselves is it.

He scrunched up the flyer and threw it in the trash, he took a piece of paper and began to write…

To whom it may concern, I believe there is a nationwide leadership campaign plagued by incompetence, lack of vision, and an utter absence of competitiveness…

Stopping to look out the HQ window he watched as the masses ate up the rat meat the gods flung down to keep them all anesthetized, Falstaff sighed and scrunched up his own open letter ‘what’s the point’ he sighed and closed his eyes.