Mr. Pickles walks out into the middle of the street and quickly runs back to the sidewalk when he realizes that cars won’t stop for him.  He whips out his  . . . easy folks . . . 47 Enterprises ©®™ Portable Soap Box.

I’m here to alert all of you good people in the eight cities about rampant abuse of power in New York.  It has come to my attention that a certain New York RHM has been abusing his powers for his own gain.  Not the good of the crew.  Not the good of the city.  But, for his own evil, perverse reasons.  As we all know, Omerta would frown upon me sharing privileged crew messages, but I think it’s important that this be exposed.

Pickles takes a letter out of his pocket and reads aloud . . .

“***Mass Mail to crew members of Meresin***
Hello folks,

As the RHM of the crew, I see what gets sent to Meresin. I know his financials. And, quite frankly, it disturbs me. I also have the power to HQ wack each and every one of you. And, I have a fairly skilled gun. So, from now on . . . once a week . . . you all will kick up $1 to me to save your little lives. I demand a piece of the action. I want to get my beak wet!

And, maybe, as I get more used to extorting people I might add a zero or two. Probably not. But, you all owe me a dollar! Or not.

Love,
Mr. Pickles”

Pickles pulls another letter from his pocket . . .

“Dear LoveGun . . .” wait, wrong one . . .

“***Mass Mail to crew members of Meresin***
Good afternoon everyone.

It's been several hours and I still have not received a dime, much less a dollar. The consequences for this shall be dire! As of this moment, I am banning doughnuts in the HQ. You shall have none!

Sincerely,
Mr. Pickles”

These abuses are intolerable, and must stop!  Thank you everyone for listening.

Darkangel steps on to the soapbox next, in his hand he holds a doughnut.

"this is true. i had to go  to a different CITY to get my doughnut fix. and it's killing us that there are no more doughnuts in oour HQ. i am lenient of many things, but this abuse of our doughnut privilages must NOT BE TOLERATED."

I agree. These RHM's must be stopped! And, who should the first one we should burn to thy stake? Gallifrey of course? Why? Because, the force of treason. He stole my Mr. Albert. He's still in shocked because of. We either tie him up and burn him to thy stake. Or, we shall stone him to death!

Death to Gallifrey, lives on!

Pickles looks perplexed.

I should have banned all doughnuts from the crew!  I didn't think a doughnut in the street is not a doughnut in the HQ.  You win this round, DarkAngel . . . this time!

The hulkster reads the letters Mr_Pickles has gave out and couldnt help but laugh so hard he had peed his pants. Wasnt to much of a problem as no one could really tell because they were so bright anyhow. Hogan just laughed as he walked into the dark alleyway illuminating the night with his bright presence.

Monet looks at the beefed up Hogan as he notices his tight spandex pants turning a darker shade. His eye brows furrow together in worry. He's incontinent? Scary.

The old man's jaw drops and he hears that Mr_Pickles had banned doughnuts from his own HQ.

You bastard! What did doughnuts ever do you?! They're just lovely fried pieces of dough! All they want is a friend. 

How could you ever do such a heartless thing to such innocent pieces of pastry?! 

No no no!  I can have doughnuts.  But no one else.  Well, DarkAngel paid for a month, and Vasily paid for ten weeks.  So, they can have some.  But not the ones with the chocolate.  Those are mine!

U can haz doughnuts?! You greedy greedy bastard. I honestly cannot believe this. First, you want MONEY from your family and now you don't share your doughnuts with them? I am seriously horrified and ashamed of you and New York right now. 

This is truly a tragedy. I'm not sure we can be friends anymore Mr_Pickles. I....

Monet pauses...

I am just completely and utterly lost for words.

He shakes his head. 

You can have your bourgeois doughnuts.  Just don't ban Syrnikis. 

No, Vasily, I don't want the bourgeois doughnuts, I just want the chocolate ones!

Gallifrey listens from a nearby ally laughing while Sweeney crys on about the abusive and mishaps of Mr. Albert under Gallifreys right arm lies a strange box, carrying on his about his business gallifrey cant help but laugh

"Oh Mr. Sweeney, you have no idea what is about to happen to you!"

Gallifrey disappears into the night

I tried and I tried to stay away from this, but I just couldn't.

I know this is a piss take and all but seriously... This is what we have in the streets these days?

Jono begins to reminisce about days gone by and vows to start entering the streets himself more often

In those days gone by most the chatter was between people trying to kill each other, the leadup to, or the aftermath of it.  Many of us miss the old days but you're talking shit to one of the few people who makes any noise in the streets.  I'm imagining a man starving to death, bitching at the one person who gives him food because it's a potato and he doesn't like potatoes. 

Actually that's not the best analogy, because in this case you're perfectly capable of doing something about the situation yourself. 

The people hating each other in the streets was the best street talk back in the day.  If you come out with one of the typical stories about your first kill, or something of the like, I'll have a listen before I go to bed.  They make me tired. 

Oooh, Maybe some excitement here eh?

If you'll take a closer look, I am not talking shit to one of the few people who makes any nose in the streets. I'm expressing an opinion about the streets as a whole in general. You know as well as I do how poor the condition of the streets is these days.

That being said, the streets may be in a poor condition but a conversation about doughnuts? I'll never understand the American's fascination with them. Although, they are much better than that of my home country.

I have to agree with you also, I am perfectly capable of doing something myself. I believe I mentioned that in my own way.

It is also my bed time so I must be off home. You're more than welcome to join me and read me one of these bed time stories you are on about?


No homo.

Aye, I didn't think you were targeting Mr_Pickles, Jono, but I couldn't resist latching on to the doughnuts ban. It just seemed too random and funny not to comment on it. 

But yes, sadly this is the state of the streets. And I think that Mr_Pickles has pretty much summed up how much garbage is coming into the streets from certain garbage makers. The fact that people are not truly expressing what they think in the streets is sad. The fear that has come with saying the wrong thing is awful. 

I actually commend Mr_Pickles for even in a rather round-about manner trying to say something and address the wee problem that is going on at the moment. I don't think much of the community is enjoying the garbage because it just all rather far-fetched and stupid. I mean, if you're going to try to stir up shit, at least do it properly. 

Monet smokes his cigarette heavily. 

I will do my part then as well.  Monet, mind if I get one of those cigarettes?  Jono, that sounds lovely.  Minimal homo. 

Typical.  Just plain typical.  Once again, another warning of the abuses of power out of New York is brought the the city's attention, and it gets turned into a conversation about doughnuts!  I'm telling you all, that there is a serious breach of trust here!  A RHM, a supposed sworn leader . . . one who is to uphold the city, the Godfather, and the family . . . he is being abusive to his crew.  Extortion for his own gain . . . what's next?  A coup against Meresin?  Well, probably not, but . . . what else will he resort to?  Next thing you know, it won't just be the doughnuts, but postage stamps.  Yes!  He will tax the crew for each mail they send.  You know who else taxed stamps?  Yes . . . the English!  The likes of Dementor and FluffyMoneyGibbon (and rumour has it, AlabamaWorley).  Do we need more tea dumped into the harbour to protest this?  Somebody needs to stop this RHM before the power goes completely to his head!

Woah woah woah.

Mrs Worley is a lot of things, English I am not. Though a tax on mail sounds interesting..

*giggles at Alabama being called English*

*flings poop*

The Scottish (i.e. Campbells and MacGregors) have been long know as being in cahoots with the crown.  I don't make up the truth, just report it.