I'm sick. I'm tired. Ever since Ned_Harrington decided to start looking into my businesses I've had to shut down production just in case someone somewhere in my very long line of reputable men and women I entrust to keep everything afloat was doing something less than legal with my funds. I, of course, would have had no idea about any of this but there are now so many prying eyes in my DuckSales establishment that I can't even take a single step inside without four or five hoodlums for the Competition Committee showing their ugly faces and breathing down my neck. 

Scrooge writes down something in his pocketbook, more wealth-generating ideas, no doubt. Ones that, sadly, will have to wait until he's in the clear before they can be implemented. He sighs while thinking about all of the cash that will be lost in the interim as the commission seems to be leaving no stone unturned, even the ones he had credits hidden underneath.

This is my plea to Ned and Harold. Two men who have been out to get me over the past few days: LEAVE. ME. ALONE! I have done nothing to any of you except for attempt to spread joy and positivity throughout the underworld. Maybe this was the wrong thing for me to do. Maybe I should be only worrying about myself...

Fixing his shirt collar in an attempt to regain some composure, Scrooge looks around and becomes somewhat teary-eyed. Are they actual tears or just an attempt to make others feel sorry for him? No one could be sure, but it was definitely the latter. 

All that I could think is that this is a matter of money, and offer to pay ten of my most prized credits to Ned in an attempt to get him to leave me alone. I can't think of anything else that I could do-- so I am sending out this message which I have just penned now, and I am saying it aloud for anyone who may wish to hear, I am officially offering a bribe to the commission committee as I do not know what else that I could do at this moment.

Please, if anyone has any other ideas that aren't giving my money away. Let me know. I just need this to go away. My waterless waterpark parking lot has been held up ever since I've been told that any sort of tax evasion will be taken very seriously by the government if they find out about it, and you know, if there is any sort of evasion going on, I do not know anything about it and I need it to stay quiet.

His face had a disgusted expression at this point, but there wasn't much more he could do than this. It was very embarrassing, but Harold had finally gotten his way and the Duck was begging in front of everyone. Maybe it was the alcohol he had drunk tonight, but this just all felt right in the moment.

Dear Competition Committee,

Leave me alone. I'll pay you. 

Love, Scrooge McDuck

The message had been penned and sent to Ned's offices and the rest would hopefully sort itself out. He could soon get back to working his many businesses and make the billions that had always been rightfully his, or at least one could hope...

StandbyJudgeHarold's monobrow takes on a bizarre shape, it looks somewhat like a fuzzy caterpillar sliding down a flight of stairs, presupposing StandbyJudgeHarold's forehead to be the metaphorical staircase in this scenario. This is probably the kind of visual monstrosity that happens when somebody with a single eyebrow tries to raise an eyebrow.

StandbyJudgeHarold's voice sounds as disfigured as the contents of his brow.

ME? HAVING BEEN OUT TO GET YOU?

WHAT ABSOLUTE TWADDLE.

Tell me, which one of us caused the other to be under scrupulous, borderline torturous, investigation from the Competition Commission by dragging them into an illegal competition? Which one of us was an accomplice to a violent plot in order to pressure the other into buying overpriced insurance policies? Which one of us violently smashed the other's leafblower with a sledgehammer when they were doing the altruistic deed of removing all leaves from one's business?

Couldn't be me.

I think there was a moment when you shocked yourself, Mr. McDuck, and realized that you overstepped your bounds in taking on the Competition Commission head to head. Unfortunately, your backpedaling came too late and the Competition Commission claimed yet another victim. Your bravery in unquestionable and I'm sure you are a hero to some Anti-CC forces. Now you may join them in the afterlife.

This was a fitting end for you, Duck. 

The competition commission had to pull out every stop to finally put you down as they were afraid to see what happened if you fully reached your true potential. At least, that's what it looks like to an outsider such as myself. Tsk.

The man drops a single pellet of corn on the floor, one of Scrooge's old favorites. 

I'll miss you, old man. Even though it is weird to miss someone you never met before, of course. Farewell.

A Duck makes a plea for mercy to the Competition Commission and what happens to him? He gets murdered in cold blood, made an example to others who dare defy the law of the land and are thinking of running sham-competitions themselves.

How I am still alive despite being smeared as being the alleged locum judge of the infamous Harold Competition is beyond me. I suppose I should be grateful. I suppose I should run a competition myself to make amends.

Ned stepped out into the streets looking more disheveled than usual. His hands had numerous small paper-thin cuts from a long night of handling Competition Commission business. 

Excuse me everyone, I have come to announce that the Competition Commission has officially closed the investigation into ScroogeMcDuck and StandbyJudgeHarold. 

At this time we will NOT be making the result of our investigation public as it could present a large security risk. At this time StandbyJudgeHarold has been allowed to re-enter and return to work at "𝕥𝕙𝕖 ℍ𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕃𝔻 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕌ℕ𝔻𝔼ℝ𝕎𝕆ℝ𝕃𝔻." 

We are however pleased to announce the recovery of 80 MILLION DOLLARS in fraudulent Competition funds. We thank you again for your continued support of the Competition Commission and the hard work we do behind the scenes.