But fear itself....

Lotta whispered to herself before dropping her cigarette on the ground and stepping on it lightly. Her face was clouded with angst and impatience and frustration.....and something else that just couldn't be defined. Clearing her throat and taking a deep sigh, she addressed those in the streets around her.

Ladies and gentlemen who are willing to listen to a nobody who has never said a word on these streets before, I hope you hear me today.

I come here today to pose a question, or a debate as it may be. See, I've been silently watching these streets for some time now, droning on with my daily mundane tasks, and I have noticed a stench. No, it's not what you think. It is, in fact, the stench of fear.

Fear that Billy may or may not retire on his 2nd birthday.

Fear that Premeir will do whatever it is Premeir does.

Fear that Las Vegas is out of control and plans on taking out the WORLD.

Fear that our current leadership is not up to task because they do not come to these streets enough.

Fear.

I can tell you that I fear that I am not doing enough for my family. I fear the small tasks I do daily are not enough. I fear that I am not living up to my expectations, or that of my Family.

I fear that our world has become so stagnant and full of fear, no one with intelligence (that one is for the Kuklinski clan) will take a stand. Granted, we've had a few attempts lately and I have to say the best one by far was by Chuckle.

I suppose my question to pose here, the debate that comes to mind, is....what do you fear? What fear has you so frustrated and so incapacitated to do anything more than groan about it?

I welcome any and all answers to this question, for I feel that if I can get to the bottom of some of this, I will become a better member of this society. Thank you all for your time and have a great day.

Lotta sits down at the cafe table and sips a cup of coffee looking around at the small crowd on the streets

I have to say that while I fear many things, if I let my fears take control I would be paralyzed and unable to discharge my duty and obligations to my famiglia.

Instead, every morning when I wake up I recite this poem that I read once upon a time:

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.”

Tony listens quietly and thinks about what she said for a moment before responding.

Heh, fear? I think the only thing I'm afraid of is all my hard work for my city and my family to go to waste. 

Now I haven't been active in the streets at all. The same as many. But for about 2 months now I've been itching to come out here and lately the topics are really bringing the talkative side out of me.

Mostly all this talk about the Crewleaders being bad leaders due to not coming to the streets or not starting wars due to fear. Everyone keeps complaining about the streets. But what do you want from the leaders of this world? To come out and talk about the same old shit that has been recycled through the street over and over again? The topics are getting old and people are running out of ideas. 

The only thing left to do is to go over the old stuff or write stories to entertain the masses. Now, everyone keeps calling CL's and hands mutes or scared for not coming to the streets, but when they do and they bring up old topics. Most people will look at it and just blow it off or remind them it is something that has been talked about too much.

This is literally what the streets are being brought to. The only topic left to talk about is the topic of not talking.

It is not much fear of death as many think. Some people just don't have a knack for it, don't enjoy it, don't want to do it OR some of them are scared of death. I'm not saying people aren't scared of dying for speaking out. But you cannot put all the blame on that reason.

I agree that it is sad that Kuklinski is the only entertainment most of the time these days. He really needs to go get a life or at least stop trying to stir up trouble that won't happen.

But I am getting off topic and wasting my time mentioning him. I think there are plenty people that are scared of Roman and Prem. But why would you go around and tell them to grow a pair? It isn't fear. It is the smarts not to start something that you won't benefit from. Starting a war where the scales are tipping to the other side at the very start is an idiotic move. People can't blame the current CL's for Roman surviving all this time. Most of them were either in Chicago during it or got set up after numerous wars over the past year.

Will Roman retire? Nobody has a clue but himself and his closest friends. Are people awaiting that day he retires? Yes. Are they only waiting for that day because they have no balls? No. The hitters of this thing of ours tend to go to the strongest cities so they can hone their skills and last a while. So clearly Chicago and New York have the power. Why start a war where you will end up getting wiped out? There isn't anything smart or brave about doing that. It would just be a dumb move.

The streets have been dead for a long time now. They may liven up for a little while, but who knows for sure. They could just die down right after all this complaining is over.

When it comes to all these recent threads. Some were done without thought and led to death. But the one that stood out and caused all the other threads to be written was Chuckle's thread. Do I agree that somebody who lives under Roman and has a large amount of BG's should complain about other Leader's not having balls and not making a change. No. Do I applaud him for his effort and his great writing and making good points? Yes. He is one of the most skilled writers in this thing of ours. I can't say that I don't agree with a lot of his poins. I may have some things I disagree with. But he made valid and good points.

Right now there is a thin line between fear and being smart. Some do what they do out of fear. Other's just don't want to lose everything they have built for the past few months. 

I just think that it is sad that the only topic to talk about is the emptiness of the streets. 

So in the end, what do I really fear? This thing of ours fallin apart. Even If I die, my kin can continue on my legacy. No matter how unnoticed it is. I am not afraid of dying, it is only a new beggining for my family line. All I know is that there are many accusations that are uneducated or just to stir up trouble because people are bored.

FEAR is something everyone has. Even the mightiest of empires have fallen. But the thing about that, is that a new one will emerge soon after. 

~Castelli

Mr Alphonse,

That is a poem I will remember for a long time. It is a summary of what I'm trying to say here. Thank you.

Mr Castelli,

THANK YOU! For all your points. I applaud the time and thought that went into your reply. I do have to say I agree with you for the most part.

I want to make it very clear here that I am not calling out any leaders for being mutes or being loud mouths. I was simply pointing out the trending topics lately and asking why that fear is so prominent. So please forgive me if my words came out as though I were trying to call out our current leaders as poor ones because they don't talk much. That is far from my point.

However, you did hit many good points on the head. Fear of this thing of ours falling apart. Lack of fear of dying, knowing your bloodline did their best and you can only follow and do the same.

And the best one yet? There is a thin line between fear and being smart.

Oh well I'm sorry if that is how it came off. That wasn't really directed at you. Was something that has been bothering me with the other recent threads that have come out. A big theme of them is to call out all the leaders as mutes and cowards. 

My main point of all that, which I should have stated. Was that if you aren't a CL. Then don't come out and talk shit about them when you don't have to deal with all of the decisions they do currently, with how things are in this world.

I never meant for it to be directed at you. I was speaking in terms of the recent threads.

But I am glad you brought this thread out to the streets and you were very respectful about it. Unlike some of the others. I feel more apt to replying to yours due to it being respectful and tuned more to a discussion rather than just pointing out facts and just spewing out whatever comes to mind.

Lotta flashes one of her million dollar smiles at Castelli and nods

I didn't take it that way, per say. I just thought maybe you did, and I wanted to make myself clear.

Thank you for joining my discussion, and you are welcome to my table anytime.

Tony, I think you may of misinterpreted or misunderstood Chuckles speech somewhat if all you gleamed from it is that the leaders are mute and lack street presence. I believe there was a much deeper rooted issue which Chuckle was trying to highlight. Whether I agree with points of it or not is a seperate matter, and one which i've already shared my views on. Anyway, thats getting off topic.

There are many things I fear. Do I share them with others, probably not as this can be construed as a sign of weakness. Do I let them consume me, not one bit. Bottom line, everybody fears something or someone, its an instinctive characteristic in all of us. The courage comes not in the lack of it but in peoples ability to face it and use it to turn into a positive

If I walk around in fear of other peoples actions and what may or may not happen then i'll be constantly cast in a shadow and looking over my shoulder. Have the strength to face and adapt, and in the knowledge that i'm ready for whatever challenges may be thrown my way. Suceed or fail, at least I came out swinging

I never said that is all that I gleamed. It is the only thing that I brought from that speech into this one. You can clearly see that I stated him having other well made points. But I didn't bring those into this one, due to the fact that is the only thing that OTHERS concentrated on after his speech.

I know he made other points. But I wanted to make my own and only reference somewhat to his.

Sao stands by and listens as Lotta, and the others express their fears to the world. Not exactly something everyone wants to admit, but few seem to do so nonetheless. When the last is done, he clears his throat to speak.

Lotta, I have to say, it is a breath of fresh air to see someone come out here and voice such things, especially when all I've been hearing lately is that Kuklinski guy ranting about anything, and everything that he can think of. You've chosen an interesting topic to bring to light, and I also have to say I enjoy it.

I, like you, do not exactly fear things across this nation. I fear things within myself, and within my city. I fear the possibility that I will not live up to my ancestors, which is what drives me to do the things I do, and work as hard as I can. Most everyone wants to be better than their mother or father, and I am one of them. I fear that the name Sao will fade away in the history books, with nothing remarkable to add to it. It drives me to be the best man I can be.

I also fear that I may not do enough for my family, and for my city. My bloodline started in the great city of New Orleans under Scotland, and SecretAgent, and I hope to make the best for this city that has done so much for me under my Godfather, and very close friend Kimble. As potentially the last of my line to grace these shores, I would love to leave the city of New Orleans better than it was found. As the great Augustus Caesar said, thousands of years ago, "I found a city of brick, and left it in marble." I fear that I can not accomplish these things, and my efforts will go unnoticed, and unheeded. I fear that I will not help my city prosper.

All of these things push me that extra mile, for the better of myself, and above all my family and city.

Appreciate the time you've given to hear my ramblings.

Sao reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a smoke as he fades into the background.

My dearest red-headed amazon,

We can help you relax at least a bit.

Fear that Billy may or may not retire on his 2nd birthday.

Fear no more, this issue has been resolved.

Lotta chuckles at her old friend

Thanks for the that clarification Mr. Thomas.

My line has always held something they heard a very long time close to their heart regarding fear.

"Fear is like fire in the belly. Controlled, it keeps you warm and alive. Unleashed, it burns and destroys you"

To completely disregard fear is folly, it is something that will affect all of us at some point. It might be something as trivial as fear that the Dr Pepper has run out(although I know some folks who would class that as a lot more important than trivial), or it could be the major fear that death comes soon and we haven't achieved everything we wanted to.

But that is just part of life, live with fear it's healthy, but don't let it control you. For the minute fear has it's grip on you, your lost forever.

Fear is a healthy thing, though it stops you taking some risks it saves your neck on others.  I and my family before me have loved that healthy dose of fear that sometimes keeps you in line, sometimes brings that lump in your throat when you take the risk.

Many nights my father had to go complete a job such as remove a well protected capo or consig, and sat his legs shaking in his room as he couldnt prevent his heart from almost beating out of his chest.  He sat in the dark concentrating putting his gun together and taking apart attempting to conquer the fear but in the end he lived with it.   Even as he died fighting Roman and his allies he kept that dose of fear which had kept him alive so long but sooner or later something will happen no matter if you live with fear or not.

The truth is everyone can die at the end of the day, and anyone can be the shooter.  My father died to his pro whacker whilst dispatching bg's 2 at a time.  those not dead heading to the hospital for treatment but without that fear he would not of done so well or ranked without fear tied with respect for some