Apparently unperturbed that people didn't a flying fuck what he had to say, ol' Sprozz sauntered on down to the streets in his usual svelte and tremendous manner

"After the runaway success of my last speech..." A voice in the crowd shouts out - 'only 4 people turned up you big twat!' Sprozz grits his teeth slightly and forces a smile, the sort of smile a man might normally only give if his testicles were on fire, being electrocuted, or both.

"Fuck off you shite!" He roars in a strangled yell. "True artists are never appreeciated in their own time!" Calming himself slightly, Sprozz straightened his tie and tugged his lapel before continuing.

"...After the runaway success of my last speech, I have now decided to undergo a comprehensive commentary on the unpredictable, wild, and general idiotic goings on in Las Vegas. Is there something in the water? Who knows, one thing's for sure though, there certainly doesn't seem to be anything between the ears of those folks setting up there."

Yesteday, I signed off by raising the possibility of a link between coming from Philly and dying in Vegas; earlier this morning, this trend was reversed with somewhat surprising results as Philly took a more direct involvement in Vegas than simply acting as a cloud of suspicion, by actively gunning down two Crewleaders! Unforunately, this did not become clear until much later in the day when the Philly figurehead Lotta came out to explain. Prior to this we had only Sgt "Call me Josh or just Sarge" Slaughter's version of events.

I won't quote him here, as almost any sentence I pick is wholly illegible out of context, and wholly illegible in context come to think of it. With references to shady characters, 'inflatulations' (Clarity hates that, I know first hand) and indeed 'Lost Vegas', many eavesdroppers concluded the logical deduction of events was that Caveman and Baba had entered into some sort of suicide pact to end the torment of the Sergeant's mumbling incoherence. The Philadelphia statement thankfully was put forward in English, and it is the generally accepted case that Baba and Caveman had an ill conceived plan to take down Philadelphia, and in possibly one of the most misguided moves in recent times, they decided to inform a man they didn't know from adam (the ol' Sarge) of this most dastardly knavery. Bravo!

Having run the city of Vegas (has he found it yet?) in considerable tranquil and solitude for most of the day, ol' Sarge now finds himself confronted with the enigmatically named -Faceman. Will this new contender prove to be friend or foe to our unlikely hero? Only time will tell, but one thing seems certain - not happy simply misspelling the city he calls home, a faux pas on the same level as Sgt_Slaughter, -Faceman has upped the stakes considerably by apparently having no idea which city he even calls home; if his wildly unfortunate crew banner is anything to go by that is. Henceforth, I will have no option but to refer to the A-Team as the "'Ey?! Team" and their two pioneering members as "-Facepalm" and "Catheter" in these commentaries until such a time they can improve their stock and reputation dramatically.

Adoring fans, please expect updates on this as the situation develops.

Sprozz rides away in a limousine smoking a cigar and drinking straight out of a bottle of whiskey cause every mobster does that.

You tickle me Sprozzy get a company that will sponsor you to do newspapers i'll read that shit

She nibbles on a biscuit her kind sponsor Tristan had given her after "the meeting" and smiles..

That Sprozz.. He sure has a way with words. I cannot wait to hear his updates on the current situation in Las Vegas. I can only hope that the follies will be reported in as humorous a way as they have been so far.

She yells after Sprozz's limousine.

Thank you Sprozz for your insightful views.

Haha this is truly the best read i have had in days. Thanks so much for the laughs Sprozz, and for the commentary. I had been wondering what was going on in Las Vegas. I am waiting on the edge of my chair for more.
~La Muerta

There's nothing more boring than seeing misspellings and grammatical errors picked apart and criticized in street speeches. We have leaders in This Thing of Ours that don't say shit, and they get lambasted for it. Now we have a relatively new leader make a speech about an incident, and he gets insulted for bad spelling. Maybe he'll clam up in silence now so that all the rubes can criticize him for not speaking.

And I don't really give a crap if I'm using words like 'spelling' either. So before I'm called out for 'OOC-itis' (which by the way is also horribly irritating and unfunny, the phrase I mean) we'll just assume that by 'mis-spelling' I mean 'mispronunciation' of words. And believe me I love to watch people make fools of themselves out here, be it somebody justifying a stupid action, seeing someones points get dismantled, or otherwise just torn to shreds because the responder thinks the other guy is a giant douche. But grammar police? C'mon, man.

Is Sgt. Slaughter an eloquent speaker? No. Did his introductory speech come off as polished? No. Who cares. The guy is a mob boss not a damn Professor of Literature.

You are a good speaker Sprozz. I enjoy hearing you talk. You're above that.

And He knows that if any one tries to chew him out for his grammar he'll have to deal with my almighty awesome leader defenseness.

"Now we have a relatively new leader make a speech about an incident, and he gets insulted for bad spelling. Maybe he'll clam up in silence now so that all the rubes can criticize him for not speaking."

I do respect him for that. In that act alone he has surpassed every other Leader in LV to date since the inception of this prerogative, but saying so my original speech would've rather gone against the grain of the whole tongue-in-cheek satirical element I was hoping to create there.

"Maybe he'll clam up in silence now so that all the rubes can criticize him for not speaking."

"The guy is a mob boss not a damn Professor of Literature."

I'll use that opportunity to put your words back at you. I think most people would know me as a person who's always been a staunch advocate of street presence and activity (though not for it's own sake). Similarly, most will know my bloodline of being one that never likes to coddle. As an unrelated example; I've never been in favour of the 48h rule because it coddles the young and there is no conclusive proof it does any good, as we've never had a period without.

The point I'm getting at, in an overly verbose way, is that if I don't really coddle youngsters and others of that ilk, why should I do the same of a senior figure? The man is not just a crewleader and a oss, he is pretty much the de facto leader of a city for goodness sake! If he does not like the criticism he receives from me,  or if anyone else shares his position, then I am but a Wise Guy - it is perfectly within their remit to sit down with my superiors and address the situation.

And if a singular outburts from a Wise Guy causes to clam up altogther, I'd probably direct your statement back at Sgt_Slaughter (or anyone else who clams up at the first instance of criticism). "You're [they're] above that" These people who decide to branch out in Vegas have been given an incredible chance to show their mettle; they need to do just that.

I have to disagree with you there NewJack, if we all couldn't gather around together in these streets and mercilessly mock another for his/her lack of grammatical prowess then the world would be a much bleaker place to inhabit. 

Looking forward to developments Sprozz, we'll probably not have to wait long before someone else manages to fuck up in a rather amusingly magificient fashion. At least we're kept entertained for a time.

MajorTom screws his helmet on and floats off in the general direction of Lost Las Vegas...

Forgive the frequent, and rather ironic, errors in my own speech just here. I've ran out of toothpaste and opted for a bottle of bleach to clean the ol' gob out.

Fair enough, Sprozz. On the flip side of that coin, my own ancestors have regularly spoken out against attacks on mispronunciation and tend to lash out whenever they saw it occur. Granted, they historically lashed out against people far less skilled at the art of debate than yourself (the Chaotic bloodline being the most irritating when it came to that). So it would appear we have our own pet peeves and clearly have no issue speaking our minds on them. I'm no nice guy myself so I don't mean to imply that your satire was inappropriate; as a supporter of newspapers like the Barble and the Knuckle and a fan of the Kuklinski street musings, along with my own obnoxious tirades I'd be a hypocrite to suggest that. I just find it to be a very low form of street argument, and when I saw a speaker like yourself who I consider to be skilled using that form, I felt the need to call it out. It's in my genes. As for YOU MajorTom don't you ever publically disagree with me in public again or I'll take that astronaut helmet off your head and beat you to death with it!

I think NewJack is a new favourite of mine, I like you. Watch out young man!

I'm never big on the destruction of street speeches made by people that can't spell or pronounce to save their lives, we're mobsters after all and so correct pronunciation of words shouldn't be required for us to speak out openly without getting this shit ripped out of us, it's a very tired routine, however I did find myself having a little giggle when Sgt_Slaughter informed us of what happened in lost vegas as he called it.

I did quite like the touch about Faceman/Facepalm and his banner too tbh. I feel this commentary shows promise and I look forward to hearing more from you my dear Sprozzington. Hopefully it includes someones face being spaffed on or space docking. If we're lucky perhaps even both.

Well well well, Las Vegas certainly isn't a boring place is it? This morning has seen the rise (in the same way a stairlift rises) of Vasily, or as he will henceforth be alliteratively known, Vegas Vasily. Moments after his arrival, '-Facepalm' was napalmed and is no longer of this world. No doubt this update of the Vegas goins on will prove to be the most valuble of all, considering the ol' "Ey?" Team" were such non entities that not many will even realise that -Facepalm has shuffled off the mortal coil; or even who he was to begin with.

At my reckoning, this leaves the total body count in Vegas (counting CL's only), at 5! Throught this, there has been one constant, one unwaverable bastion. That man is Sgt_Slaughter, with each passing hour, his support grows and many are rooting for him to pull through.  Partly due  to his popular support, and partly due to the fact whoever shot -Facepalm (the likely assailant being 'VV') has half an hour left 'till they can shoot again; one would assume High_Society would be well advised to take out an extremely large life insurance policy, elope to Mexico, or both.

Luckily for High_Society, I cannot think of a sufficiently witty or cutting nickname for him, which will surely be of great comfort to him and his offspring even ifhe does snuff it within the next hour.

Until then, we'll see who has the balls to throw their hat into the ring and stick it all on red; or in the case of TesleR, wh is engaging in sexual practises that are illegal in 39 states.

It certainly will be interesting in the next few hours in Sin city. Will Vasily turn his attentions to High and Sgt and take them both out?? Will HS and Sgt team up to take out Vasily?? Will someone else throw their hat into the ring and make a difference!?

I'll be eagerly anticipating events there.

This was a very funny read.   Las Vegas has been a cesspool of events over the last few days and its interesting to see someone breaking it down in a comical light.   To address NewJack, if a new mob boss was to clamp up and disappear over simply being poked fun of for his mis-pronounciations then he probably shouldn't be wearing such a noticable suit.   Leaders need to be able to take a little slack from the public...  and if they don't want to...  well thats what a gun is for.

Ears ringing from fairly average attempt of intimidation from NewJack, MajorTom clambers out of his old worn and torn moon buggy...

Pfft! Professional American "wrestlers"?... I've shit 'em!

Moving swiftly on, I'm glad to see that things have taken a bit of a twist in good old Vegas... I was backing -Faceman (?) to become the new uber powerful Godfather of Las Vegas. I'm a bit disappointed really, that lad had potential.

This just in, Vegas Vasily has been most verily vanquished. Which vicious victor was responsible for this most violent vengeance of 'Faceman's demise? Are people vivified in their vexation? No, they seem to not give a shit.

With yet another death turning the streets of Vegas red; Sgt_Slaughter (even if he isn't the culprit!) has once again shown his extraordinary capacity to survive and is certainly Vegas' Veteran at this point. Even High_Society, a relative newcomber, can now boast to have lived through the tenures of two Crewleaders, my oh my!

Will this peace last? Of course it nobbing well won't. Stay tuned for the next hilariously inevitable death!

Even if nothing comes of Vegas. It has stimulated some of the best speaches Ive heard in years. Keep up the running comintary Sprozza its very entertaining.

Alliteration for the win.

Sprozz, my cousin would have appreciated your alliterations.  He was a big fan of puns and the like.  Since we're having a great time talking about what happened though, Vasily wasn't killed by anyone in a Vegas crew.  If I were forced to guess (is forced to guess)....I'd say it was probably one of those terribly upset about the death of Faceman.  Who, my cousin told me, cried like a bitch and begged for mercy.  Also Vegas was united after Faceman went down.  That's why my cousin didn't shoot anyone else.  I assure you he had no regrets....it was a very fun hour and a half or whatever.  It's just a shame....everyone in Vegas is following the rules....it's people not in Vegas who are breaking the rules.

My message to them?  Grow a fucking pair, and set up in Vegas.  It's more fun that sneaking around and it's more admirable than breaking your own Godfathers rules.  Your half ass friend knew the risks, he was killed within the rules.  If you want to avenge him further, move to Vegas. 

I need updating! Who will keep me in touch with Las Vegas and its activities!?

For any updates required on Las Vegas or it's activities, you need only look to me Funtcase. I would be glad to share with you stories of the road, some things we would like to see in the coming new year, as well as our plans for Holiday jubilation!

Stop by my office, i'll crack open the eggnog, and we'll chat for a bit !