ManicStreetPreacher gathers his usual friends and comrades round and starts to talk.  The crown, expecting another searing indictment of the 'current state of play' or another red hot interview are surprised when MSP starts to discuss seemingly trivial matters...

Hello my friends.  We all have our hobbies.  My hobby is the written word.  Interviews, speeches, questions and answers.  I enjoy the arts, debating.  I like driving automobiles.  Sometimes, though not for some time, I check into a mid-range priced hotel with a large bag of cocaine and some morphone/sleeping pills.  I like restaurants, moving pictures and walks in the park.

Sometimes, whilst at the park, I see kids roller-skating.  Once I saw a male person on skates.  Rolling around he was.  A little fella.  I chased after him and finally caught him hiding in a pet-shop.  He claimed to work there but I didn't believe him.  Anyway, I told him I was giving the skates back to the girl he stole them off.  He said that they were his; that boys roller-skated too.  He went further and said that roller-skating was a masculine thing.

Is it?  Is roller-skating masculine? 

The floor is yours, gentlemen (and ladies).

Ah. The age-old argument about males and fancy rollerboots. All I will say is that if we judge a man, or a boy, or any other mammal for wanting to experience the pleasure of free-wheeling around his May pole (tutu optional, of course), then this world of ours will continue to be a saddening and damp-spirited place.

La Tristesse Durera, as a wise man once said.

It is an age old argument but it's one that needs settled.

I, like any right minded psychedelic cosmonaut relishes the idea of a long humid afternoon dancing around a May pole with my lavender tutu on. I was never a big fan of that roller-skating malarky mind you, that's just a step too bloody far!

That's an interesting perspective and one that I broadly agree with.  I frequently watch Sex and the City whilst drinking "wine" and discussing "boys" with the "girls".  However, I would NOT EVER rollerskate as I believe that to be far too gender-bending.

You're definitely a fellow who shares my own tastes ManicStreetPreacher.

Dear, dear boys.

I will personally fashion you both a pair of wartank-style boots, complete with conveyor belt transportation systems. No more can I tolerate two such fine and brave Mafiosi too afraid to enjoy their [perfectly valid and not at all homosexual] pursuit of entertainment. No, no! NEVER MORE!

MajorTom, I have some simply divine moonstone embellishments that would really bring something to that tutu of yours.

A tutu just doesn't cut it.  Sheer stockings and a stunning little black dress or nothing.  That's it.

Sheer? Ew, no. Only gals over 40 like the shiny leg look.

roller skates often help on grabbing them old ladies handbags or a speedy getaway when pick pocketing, but anything involving animals and pet shops i often get concerned about.

Dunn was on his rollerblades in the streets with his hand holding his wrist behind his back. He was stroking his skates along the streets and stop to hear MSP talk about rollerskates. At the end of the speech he doesn't think that rollerblades aren't manly. A single tear came down his eye and looks down in shame.

WHY! RUIN! EVERYTHING! FOR! ME!

He angerly took of his skates and throw them down. He walks away stomping his feet.