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| Happy New Year: $80m Prize For Best New Year Story | Started by: Kuku on Dec 31, '23 19:31 |
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As many of you know, I'm now so rich I can spends hundreds of millions on hitlisting people. I can also run serious contests again.
This one is easy. By midday 1st Jan, write up an entertaining story about new year. Best one (as decided by me and two others) gets an $80m tip.
Who's up for it ?
For all decent efforts, a significant prize will be given. |
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| Report Post | Tips: 7 / Total: $140,000 Tip |
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Mt story is titled "I’m chasing a man down the street"
Chasey, chasey, chasey! Shoot, shoot shoot. As you can see, I am chasing a man down the street and shooting at his ass. Bang bang! Motherfucker. Heh. Gimme my money you low-life rat!
I catch up with him and beat his ass. A tire iron, bat, crowbar, then I empty my pistol into him for good measure.
I later realize the man that I killed was a mafia Don! I now await my fate! Uh-oh! |
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| Reply by: HepatitisC at Dec 31, '23 20:05 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $1,500,000 Tip |
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My story is titled "I made a boo boo" (All is a work of fiction and does not relate to anyone living or dead) So here I was a GFC. I dun goofed on a mass mail relating to breaking a rule laid down by the gods. I then doubled down in the chat that I hadn't broken any rules despite 300 odd people getting confirmation in writing that I did. I then got the fella who reported me to the authorities demoted. That was my second boo boo. I am now a 40 day old don. WOMP WOMP. |
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| Reply by: Sergioo at Dec 31, '23 20:08 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 3 / Total: $1,540,000 Tip |
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It was New Year's Eve, 1951. The streets of Las Vegas were teaming with the usual night life. Indifference could be seen on the sidewalk, intermittently vomiting and yelling belligerently at imaginary squirrels. Sisu was wearing a very sparkly miniskirt and trying to flag down drunk men who had more money than good judgment. Everything was as it should be on this most festive night of the year. That is, until suddenly shots rang out... BANG BANG BANG! Everyone froze and looked around for the source, expecting it to be someone shooting at Fluffy_Tummy, but it was not. The Don was still sitting in the window, quietly purring and slowly blinking. Suddenly, a shadowy figure ran towards the alley, dropping a gun as he disappeared into the darkness. Gigantopithecus ran towards the discarded weapon, hoping it might provide a clue to the motive, target, and identity of the shooter. Picking up the weapon, he noticed engraved in gold on the barrel "T.C.C.I.M.F.A.D.R.C.C.I" and "Property of The Competition Commission" stamped underneath the handle... "What is this? Could it be?" Gigantopithecus had not seen any indication of CC presence in ages. He assumed they had been wiped out in some barbaric purging, with Georgette, a former intern, being the last remnant of the once great organization... "This makes no sense. Why? Why would they return NOW, of all times? The streets were teaming with life and there had not been a competition in a very long time!" Suddenly, Gigantopithecus noticed a flyer nailed to a street pole. It was a competition A competitive competition! And hosted by Kuku, of all people. He had rubbed the CC the wrong way in the past and the CC were known to hold grudges. It was all starting to make sense now. The contest was not being overseen by the Competition Commission and it appeared they were letting the world know that they were still around, somewhere, enforcing their values on anyone who dared to dodge their oversight. Kuku appeared to survive this attempt, but things did not look good for him. The CC were persistent, and they always got their man eventually... |
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| Reply by: Gigantopithecus at Jan 01, '24 00:45 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 2 / Total: $40,000 Tip |
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The man tried to open his eyes but his left eye struggled to open. It was covered in who knows what and his face was pushed into a metal bunkbed and a concrete wall. As he pushed his head back a little bit he was able to open his eyes and noticed the black metal steel and the white painted concrete wall. Immediately his back ached as he rolled over and recognized the familiar place... a jail cell He looked over and saw the steel toilet and sink combination and above that the air vent which had a t shirt hanging on it drying in the cool breeze of the air vent using a pen. There was a bunk above him and he could see a arm hanging down and a bunch of clothes and yellow urine in the toilet. He could hear the constant snoring of the man above him and there was this SMELL in the cell that smelled of a dead animal and sweat As he slid to the edge of the bed he hit his head cursing out loud as he stood up noticing a big fat man above him mostly naked sleeping. Walking over to the door you peak out the small window and can see the guard at his little desk in the middle of the dayroom... Fuck I wish Kuku could bust me out of here you said as you shook your head... knowing you were spending another new years eve in jail...maybe next year you could you get your shit together...maybe not You walked to the back of the cell and stood on your tip ties to try to look out of the small window that was near the ceiling.. nealy falling over you decided it was best to lay back down and go back to sleep.. you might be in here a while. |
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| Reply by: Sylence at Jan 01, '24 00:52 | |
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Well… never thought I’d be saying this aloud but here we are So I joined this contest not expecting much, considering who organized it. Got a mail from Kuku just before the turn of the new year that I would be receiving 80 million as a cash prize. I of course did what any reasonable person would do and ignored it, assuming it was typical Kuku bullshit. Lo and behold, I wake up to 80 mil deposited into my account about 20 minutes before the turn of the new year. Point is, I know Kuku gets a lot of hate in these streets and rightfully so, but all I can say is he delivered on everything he said he would to me. Not that I trust him or suddenly think he’s some good guy but fair is fair. With that said, happy new year Mr. Kuku. Mine is off to a great start! |
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| Reply by: HepatitisC at Jan 01, '24 17:17 | |
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Thanks to all those who entered. We still have two entrants awaiting to enter, and you know what?
The prize money of $80m is still on offer. HepatitisC was paid as something approaching a clerical error, but it was a fine piece |
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| Reply by: Kuku at Jan 01, '24 17:22 | |
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“Oh shit!” Gilly ran out of the small gun shop and practically dove into the ‘48 Packard parked haphazardly next to the curb. Gunshots echoed from the depths of the store, bullets whizzing past the shambling old car as it jerked into traffic. “What in the HELL?” Bellowed the driver. She took a deep breath and gripped the wheel tighter. “Gilly, that was supposed to be a shakedown, not a takedown!” “I’m sorry Kittie! I thought I had it handled but he panicked when he got to the safe. I must have taken my eyes off of him for just a second and he started shooting!” She sighed and held up a dripping bottle. “A bullet hit the champagne!” She frowned. “I’m sorry.” Kittie sighed and took a sharp left. “It’s ok, we still have two more stops. Let me do the next one.” The massage parlour was dark, the flickering neon sign above the shop providing the only light in the deepening shadows of night. Kittie shook her head and slipped in the back. The air was still perfumed with a heady incense that tickled her nose and she stifled a sneeze. A light in the back clicked on and a strident voice called out in Mandarin. “Hello Katherine. Happy New Year!” Kittie winced and held her hands up. “Ní háo to you Sheng. You know why I’m here.” Her Mandarin was choppy but understandable. Sheng nodded but looked annoyed. “You could have called.” He gave her a sour look as he stood and moved towards a towel rack. He depressed a small intricately carved lotus on the wall and the towel rack flipped open revealing a liquor cabinet. He withdrew a large green bottle and handed it to Kittie. “Consider my debt fulfilled.” Kittie nodded and cradled the bottle like it was her first born. “We’re square.” She said. “Xiéxié, thank you.” Kittie exited the parlour as quickly as possible, feeling a bit bad for not trusting Sheng until the first bullet zipped past her. “God dammit!” She bellowed. She slid into the door of the car, then ripped it open, diving in to the driver’s seat, tossing the champagne unceremoniously at Gilly. “Xiéxié my ass Sheng” “What?” Gilly asked. “Stuff it Gilly!” Kittie snapped. It was several minutes before she managed to managed to apologize. Gilly looked miffed but muttered her thanks. The rest of the ride was quiet. It was 11:45 before the two of them managed to stumble into Kittie’s apartment. As Gilly went to turn on the light Kittie froze. It was too late. As the incandescent bulb flickered to life it illuminated several angry men and women standing in her living room, guns at the ready. Without thinking Kittie snatched the bottle from Gilly, shook it as hard as she could and popped the top, using the ensuing chaos to grab Gilly’s hand and run. Once they had lost the gang of angry people chasing them Kittie slid to the ground, still clutching Gilly’s hand. A sudden explosion caused both girls to jump and Kittie laughed, exhausted tears running down her face. “Well, we lost the champagne, but we made it to the New Year!” She laughed again and pulled Gilly in for a hug. “Happy New Year sis!” Gilly laughed along and crushed Kittie to herself, relishing the squeak the other woman made. “Happy New Year to you too!” |
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| Reply by: KittieCapone at Jan 01, '24 18:14 | |
| Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
Not sure what this even means, but I'll assume this is leading towards exactly the bullshit I was referring to. Whatever it means really doesn't matter though, as I'll be making good use of that 80 million for myself and of course in tribute to my Don. Happy New Year and good luck with the rest of the contest. |
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| Reply by: HepatitisC at Jan 02, '24 00:26 | |||
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This contest is still live. HepatitisC - enjoy your money |
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| Reply by: Kuku at Jan 02, '24 15:06 | |
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Hey kr3zy, just wondering if HepatitisC has kicked up the tribute he said he would? |
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| Reply by: Kuku at Jan 04, '24 14:57 | |
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