Get Timers Now!
Feb 27 - 04:39:15
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UPDATE on the Gillian Luncheon Epiphany Scam Started by: CYRAXXX on Feb 11, '24 07:14

What’s up y’all, y’all already know who it is. It’s your boy. And if you’re down with CYRAXXX with the tripple X give me a hell yeah! I’ve got a NEW newspaper that I’m gonna drop right now. An even better one than my father’s newspaper The Cyraxx Tribune (rest in peace). I would appreciate it if everyone gives this new newspaper a chance.  It's a new paper new vibe, I even changed the name to avoid unfair comparisons from the haters. So here it is, I hope y’all enjoy







Editor’s note: ok so I already know what a lot of yall are thinking, this is going to be just like the Cyraxx Tribune. Well first of all , let me start off by saying this…no it’s not. Second of all, this newspaper is literally NOTHING like the Cyraxx Tribune, so to any of you that think that this is?  Let me just say this. It’s not going to be. Let’s get to our first article. 




so this right here is called a retraction. Don’t know what a retraction is? Well, I will tell you. It’s when somebody like your father for instance owns a newspaper and makes AN HONEST MISTAKE (remember, no one is perfect. Are you yourself perfect? No you are not) ABOUT SOMEBODY and publishes an article about them that includes information that isn't true.. 


Now, a RETRACTION is when somebody like your boy CYRAXXX comes out and says “hey…. what my father said in that  last newspaper about that person? Well he was wrong, and I’m going to make a new article correcting it”. That’s literally what a retraction is. Now all you f*cking haters out there like Warmonger are probably like “that’s not even what a retraction is” well let me tell you something.  Yes it is.  Let’s get on with the retraction.


First of all let me start off by saying this… my father had his own opinions and I have mine. I am my own man. Did I love my father? Yes I did. Did he deserve to be killed for trying to spread news to the people and making an honest mistake? No he did not. Does that mean I have to agree with everything my father believed to be true? No, it does not


So my father wrote an article in his newspaper (shoutouts to the Cyraxx Tribune) about Gillian, who had an epiphany while eating ravioli for lunch. Now, would I ever eat ravioli in the middle of the day? At a luncheon? No I would not. Anyways, during this luncheon, Gillian made an announcement that she was going to bring a newspaper to our streets. People grew excited by this and sent large sums of money to her. A total of $1,640,000 at the time. That’s money that could have gone towards protecting people's families. And then what happened do you ask? Well, I’m going to tell you exactly what happened. No newspaper came out. Thats what happened. 


So Cyraxx (rest in peace) took to the streets and his newspaper and exposed what he believed to be a scam. He stood by his beliefs, and was willing to die for his beliefs just like my grandfather Cyrax was before RupertGiles betrayed him and doxxed his location to Gillian, who then killed Cyrax. Rest in peace Cyrax


So here’s the retraction. Did my father accuse Gillian of scamming her audience? Yes he did. Do I personally believe that Gillian deliberately sought to scam people out of money? No I do not. Am I saying my father Cyraxx was wrong about that? Yes, I am.  


I think what more likely happened was she made the announcement, she meant what she said at the time, and then got busy and put it off. Or maybe she forgot all about it. So I ask myself, is this a scam? Answer: No it is not. 


So shoutouts to Gillian and let me please say GILLIAN DID NOT SCAM PEOPLE OUT OF $1,640,000


Now, does that mean that she should have kept the tips that she DID receive for her announcement even though she never produced a d*mn thing? No it does not.  I don't think she scammed anybody, let me be clear on that.  But to keep those tips and not deliver on what those tips were for, well, that’s just a real scummy thing to do


So in summary, did Gillian purposely scam people out of money? No she did not. Was she talking with her mouth full at the luncheon when she made her announcement? Yes she was.  There's the retraction.  Moving on




Hey Warmonger what the f*ck bro. That’s bullsh*t and you know it. YOU BETRAYED ME WARMONGER.  You betrayed me AND my father Cyraxx just like your buddy RupertGiles did when he betrayed my grandfather Cyrax and then doxxed his location to someone whose name I’m not even going to mention, but guess what assh*le she killed him. AND FOR WHAT.  RUPERTGILES? What the f*ck bro




Hey did yall see the obits? Shoutouts to @cyrexnation from the Squishy gang!  Always cool to see people getting onboard with the Cyraxx Nation. The bad news is, the Cyraxx Nation was recently taken over by Transistor along with Warmonger, who betrayed me and my father just like RupertGiles did, moments before doxing his location. 




Well that’s it y’all. This will probably be my last paper.  I still have that $1,640,000 to give out. I’d like to give it to a person of Gillian’s choosing, hopefully it makes up a bit for my father's mistakes. On two conditions. 


First condition is you cant choose RupertGiles or Warmonger. Trust me, I have my reasons. Read above if you don’t believe me. 




Yeah, you think I didn’t see that sh*t?? YOU CALLED HIM KUKU. IM NOT F* KING KUKU. DO I LOOK LIKE A KUKU?  NO.  I DO NOT.  Now, do I know who Kuku is? Yes I do. Am I related to him or any of his ancestors in any way? No I am not. So take back what you said in The Harold. YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID and I’ll give the money to whoever you want (except for RupertGiles or Warmonger). 


Alright peace y’all. Thanks for reading. 

Report Post Tips: 2 / Total: $120,000 Tip

Another retraction: D*mn, I don't see the name @cyrexnation listed in the obits anywhere, under any such crew name.  But I did see it.  It was listed on a sheet on the front door thats said Recent Deaths.  Oh well my bad.  Shoutouts to City Hall anyways

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D*mn Gillian what’s taking so long? This is like waiting for The Weekly Gazette; endless.

I’ve grown tired of waiting, and I don’t have much time left before Gillian kills yet another member of the Cyraxx clan, so I decided to make the decision for her. I decided to double the unclaimed $1,640,000 to $3,280,000 and award it to someone who has been down with Cyraxxx and the Cyrax Nation since day one. Someone who never betrayed me or my family (unlike Warmonger and RupertGiles) since day one. Someone who, and I think Gillian would agree, deserves it more than anyone in the Cyraxx Nation, including herself. That person is SuperDuperFlippy. Congrats homie! I am writing the check now. 


Your accountant makes note that $3,280,000 has been wired to SuperDuperFlippy from your account. The note "Courtesy of Gillian, spend in good health" was included.

Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $100,000 Tip

CYRAXXX, my newspaper is taking a long time to write, because they are not pieces of shit like yours. I put a lot of time and effort into it. It will be out when it will be out. And as for the tip money (which was gave to me willingly) i spent it all in cocaine and hookers. Thats right, i sniffed cocaine out of prostitutes assholes and titties.

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I thought it was coming out yesterday?
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I cant typewrite with my head between a woman's leg, i was too busy at the time. My apologies to the dearies Weekly Gazette fans, it will be out soon. By the way, i would like to reiterate: that thing someone wrote and called "MR Gazette" has nothing to do with me.

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I hope you put a little more effort into than you did that article you wrote for The Harold, which was chock full of inaccuracies. Still waiting for my retraction
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SuperDupyFlippy was wiping the dirt her face from digging up a grave because she heard there was some pricey jewelry and possibly some cash buried deep under. The lead was false! Then suddenly a huge amount of money came her way. She read the note and was so happy because she was now rich! A rich goomba!

Thank you, Mr. CYRAXXX! Now I must be as forthcoming and open as you are and forward this wad to my boss Alexa. Have a good day sir!

Your accountant makes note that $3,280,000 has been wired to Alexa from your account.

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CYRAXXX I want to make it known that Gillian is not affiliated with the ℍ𝔸ℝ𝕆𝕃𝔻 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕌ℕ𝔻𝔼ℝ𝕎𝕆ℝ𝕃𝔻 and has never written any articles for us. At the present moment we do not have the money to be hiring external writers. We have some unpaid interns but those are mostly confined to oiling the printing presses, fetching me my hazelnut coffee, performing Journalism counter-intelligence operations to feed other newspaper FAKE SCOOPS and, as of recent, trying to figure out how to make a piping hot plate of lobster ravioli.

So far the culinary results have been most disappointing and resulted in the firing of 3 unpaid interns. More might follow.

Report Post Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip

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