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| A day in the life of an Ugly RHM | Started by: _Rhuarc_ on May 22, '08 06:32 |
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Pushing the covers off himself as the morning sun streamed through his window, _Rhuarc_ sat up in bed. He stretched both of his arms in front of him, above his head and to each side of his body. When his right hand didn't fall on the comfort of his bed, but instead a body, he let out a little yelp. Cuthbert, his body guard knocked on the door and _Rhuarc_ exposed himself. He leaned his head in and quietly asked if everything was alright. _Rhuarc_ nodded as he remembered the activities of last night. Finding strange hooker in his bed the next morning was nothing new for the RHM of LA. _Rhuarc_ couldn't help that he was so rich. _Rhuarc_ shoo'd Cuthbert out and left the strange hooker in his bed as he exited to his shower. He found Cuthbert in the kitchen after he had applied his herpies cream and put on an outfit. Pouring himself some coffee he asked Cuthbert to pull the car around and get QuackersVonDuckworth on the phone for him. As he entered his home office, which was a life saver sometimes, the beeping of his phone was there to greet him. Picking it up he heard QuackersVonDuckworth's voice on the other end. _Rhuarc_ told his trusted friend and associate to meet him at their favorite coffee shop. Seeing Quackers near the window reminded _Rhuarc_ of when they were young mafioso's running around the city. _Rhuarc_ had been married to a cheap whore, but that cheap whore was sleeping with the rest of LA, Quackers included, behind _Rhuarc_'s back. It was this whole crazy love orgy. In the end the whore ended up with a bullet, and Quackers and _Rhuarc_ became closer friends. "So who did you wake up next to this morning?" Quackers asked with a grin as _Rhuarc_ took a seat at the table. The waitress came around and _Rhuarc_ ordered a cup of Joe with two sugars. He continued to ignore the question with a smile. "Finally some nice weather we are getting." _Rhuarc_ said as he gazed out the window at the cars passing sipping his coffee. After breakfast, which consisted of coffee, toast, bacon, chips, sausage, black pudding, beans and egg - a man has to keep his belly some how, _Rhuarc_ and Quackers both got into _Rhuarc_'s car. On the way to the HQ downtown LA they had Cuthbert stop at a few 7-11's whilst they picked up a little extra cash. Arriving at the family's HQ, _Rhuarc_ stopped into bidheads office. He dropped off a in his office and picked up any work that needed to be done. _Rhuarc_ crossed the street and walked into his own office. As he strolled down the hallway towards his office he could hear Quackers' voice. Opening the door he found QuackersVonDuckworth quizzing down a woman that sat in one of the uncomfortable, sterile chairs visitors sat in. "Quackers I told you my office is off limits for your...um...clients." _Rhuarc_ smirked as he ignored the strange young woman and put all the files he had collected onto his desk. After fanning them all out he gave his full attention to the intruder that had gotten QuackersVonDuckworth in a huff. "What can I do for you ma'am?" The woman looked from _Rhuarc_ to Quackers, back to _Rhuarc_. Obviously she was nervous and could barely speak with Quackers still in the room. Quackers took the hint and excused himself from the room. "Well I'd like a spot in bigheads crew." She barely mumbled it off her tongue and half the words sounded like they came from a very drunk bum. Honestly, where did these people come from _Rhuarc_ thought to himself as he took a deep breath and collected his polite words. "Tell me something ma'am, if you had walked into a job and asked straight out if you could work there and didn't offer to sleep with them, what do you think they would say? Nothing, exactly, they'd laugh at you. Now stop wasting my time and sell yourself to me, show me why I should let you into the crew. " OK, so there was a slight tone in his voice, but _Rhuarc_ thought he had a good curve to it to encourage her to continue. Guess not, as the woman stood up from her seat, covered her chest with her jacket and flew out of the office before he could even tell her to have a nice life. Some people just weren't cut out to be in this type of work. Turning back to his paper work _Rhuarc_ got down to business. The day turned into a bit of a blur as the members came in and out asking questions or dropping off more paper work that bighead couldn't be arsed to do. His hand cramped at least three times to write out pay off checks, he ordered a huge lunch and when he finally had time to relax _Rhuarc_'s flight to New York was about to leave. He quickly picked up some drugs in a back alley and caught a cab to the airport. Again _Rhuarc_ caught a cab from the Las Vegas airport down to the strip. He found a few drug lords and sold his drugs. He felt bad as he picked up some heroin for a very nice price, the heroin business seemed to be not doing so well in LA. It was the opening week for ~Timello's Tavern~. The place was swarming with people, mostly men, but a few girls hung off their boyfriends around the bar and the dancing floor. _Rhuarc_ entered in through the back door and quickly changed into some evening wear, suit, tie and top-hat. He wasn't arsed tonight, but a man never needed an excuse to bust out his top-hat. While in the back _Rhuarc_ made a few phone calls from the office. The night was young, so he wasn't surprised when none of the men picked up their phones. Out dancing, paying for women with all their money, selling drugs or helping bring that freshly dead body out to the swamps. He left them each a message telling them that he'd have a schedule up soon and that they should check out the hottest new club in Vegas. Finally he exposed himself to the group of people in the bar. _Rhuarc_ relieved one of the waitresses from her duties, taking her tray and telling the young girl to get some food. Speaking of food, he was starving. Hopping back into the kitchen he ordered a massive steak. _Rhuarc_ didn't work at the tavern but found if you held a tray and looked like you did, they'd give you a free meal and you could scam drinks! Back out at the bar he picked up drinks and brought them out to a table he was going to sit at later. A few minutes flew by, the work was easy, and it was a nice change from sitting behind a desk for hours. He only had one incident with a very large, greasy hooker. She decided to get a little touchy feely and grab his ass. It wasn't the first time she had done that and hopefully it wouldn't be the last. _Rhuarc_ poured his cash on her and took out his business card he had in his pocket. He pressed himself and the card into her. "If I ever catch you touching me or any of my men again I'll make sure the you never go without loving again." He snarled into her ear and snapped for the bouncer to get the girl upstairs. After _Rhuarc_'s drinking trick was over he got down to the fun business. He drank all the drinks he'd smuggled and again he made phone calls in the back office, but this time to one of the lavish hotels. He needed a suite for the night, there was no way he'd be flying back to LA. Still in his dancing attire, _Rhuarc_ picked up a few drinks for himself at the bar and moved himself to the dance floor. |
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| very nice story :) hihi your not ugly ur handsome :) | |
| Reply by: vietchicka at May 22, '08 09:19 | |
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I beg to differ. You are Ugly Rhuarc, Its a well known fact. Very entertaining! |
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| Reply by: TheJoker at May 22, '08 09:26 | |
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| Nice story Rhuarc! Enjoyable read ! But i have to say Guapo is by far the ugliest RHM! | |
| Reply by: Major_Jerkovski at May 22, '08 11:02 | |
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Even with the slight bit of power offered a RHM, me and El_Guapo still have to pay for our woman! I think it's a RHM thing, because Goliath is ugly as hell too! Disclaimer: The ugly RHM comment is not universal, so apologies to those RHM who deem themselves attractive (I hate you all by the way). |
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| Reply by: _Rhuarc_ at May 23, '08 03:53 | |
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Ariel chuckles a bit at _Rhuarc_'s twist and a look into his life. It dawns on her that he's advertising the ugliness of RHM's. Speak for yourself _Rhuarc_! Maybe most RHM's are ugly, but all RHW's are pretty sexy. |
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| Reply by: Ariel at May 23, '08 07:36 | |
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I was expected something more along the lines of: _Rhuarc_, don't be so hard on yourself, your a good looking mafioso! I'm going to start hanging around with Guapo more I think. |
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| Reply by: _Rhuarc_ at May 23, '08 07:53 | |
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I saw this headline and I was nervous that you had written my biography. **Narc wipes sweat off his brow** |
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| Reply by: The_Red_Narc at May 23, '08 08:10 | |
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_Rhuarc_, don't be so hard on yourself, you're a good looking mafioso! I didn't mean to bruise your ego, so sorry! |
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| Reply by: Ariel at May 23, '08 08:13 | |
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| The thing is _Rhuarc_ we are not ugly, we are probably the sexiest hottest RHM ever. The problem is that we have to disguise ourselves as ugly. The reason is simple. Would you want your RHM so good looking that he could just walk up to women and get what he wants, and have every mafioso follow him, and bend to his will due to the sheer power of his charisma? | |
| Reply by: El_Guapo at May 23, '08 08:24 | |
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| I have it on good authority you've the charisma of a boot. | |
| Reply by: Numbers4Glory at May 23, '08 08:25 | |
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| Yes but we all know how much the ladies love shoes/boots | |
| Reply by: El_Guapo at May 23, '08 08:37 | |
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That has well amused me. Nice work. |
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| Reply by: Numbers4Glory at May 23, '08 08:49 | |
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Ariel, my ego is so big, a little bruising will help. To join our family, you need an over inflated sense of oneself, bighead is our leader after all. El_Guapo, shh.. your rubbish at keeping up disguises, now they know, we'll have woman flocking to our rooms. Whilst on the subject, any ladies who do come flocking, you'll notice a line of woman outside of my house of residence, please form an orderly queue, refreshments will be brought out to you at hourly intervals. |
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| Reply by: _Rhuarc_ at May 23, '08 09:32 | |
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| If you don't feel like waiting in line for Rhuarc you may come see my drive-thru service. I offer speedy, efficient, satisfaction guaranteed service. | |
| Reply by: El_Guapo at May 23, '08 22:37 | |
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