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The Terrorists Handbook Started by: halitosis on Dec 01, '11 21:07

The sound of gun shots... The smell of cordite... Rising from my bed I creep slowly into my father EvilClown's room to find him lying in bed with a large smile on his face and an even larger hole in the centre of his head, the blood from the wound caked hard and mixed into the paint he never fails to wear on his face. I smile, I never loved that bastard, he never had time for me and since gaining his bold suit all his time has been devoted to his family of malcontents.

Making sure my young son is shielded from the gruesome scene by shutting my fathers door I begin to rummage his things. I discover a large crate containing thousands of leaflets, they look like they were only just printed, ready for delivery into the hands of God knows who. I begin to read...

*********** The Terrorists handbook ***********

The current definition in the world of being a terrorist is someone that does not toe the establishments line. Of late the line drawn by them in the sand is the subverted art of shooting bodyguards and getting away with it. We want to change that. We at Generation Terrorist are here for the good of the populace. This information leaflet allows the masses to understand the methods of the professional bodyguard shooter.

Know your enemy

To help and aid with the capture of these scurrilous body guard slayers read below the best method(s) our ancestors utilised and achieved something in the region of 300 body guard kills over the space of 2 months without ever being caught. A few simple rules and tips of the trade the more professional bodyguard (stealth) shooter will use to hunt.


NEVER shoot at a person who is online or has recently been online
If possible always shoot and fly
Try not to shoot exactly on your timer (This way any W/S sent out reagrds a previous PP or Wack cannot easily be linked to you).
Shoot peoples bg's out of a GodFather family (Less chance of a shots fired W/S been sent out)
Utilise jails to find a target. (Crack a jail, you will see all the offline people laid bare before you)
Try not to shoot at a person in their home city (Decreases the chance of a shots fired W/S going out)
NEVER test your stealth out and try to WACK! somebody
Patience, Patience, Patience.


The following set of numbers has been validated time after time. It takes 51 kills to max a stealth gun, but after only:

20 kills a gangters bgs can be killed
30 a goombas
40 earners
51 MAX Wiseguys
+10 Mademan
+30 Boss
+45 Godfathers

At a measly +45 GodFathers bgs can be stealthed and killed.
Recently the Gods made some changes and adjusted the chances of the bodyguard shooter being seen by his victim. At around a 1% chance the professional bodyguard shooter knows that there is little to no chance of him ever being caught. If he is not greedy and follows the rules above he will be near to be impossible to be found.

The more active shooters the merrier :)

The more stealthy people out there activley shooting at bgs the more work the good leaders of this world of ours have to do to narrow it down to one specific person for each specific shot.
There is plenty more we have deduced over the months, if you are interested in more specific mechanics don't hesitate to ask me, come to the coffee shops and I will gladly take you by the hand.

Ever your loving Clown.



I drop the note to the floor. I knew my father was straight down the line, unlike his ancestry he had not stepped over to the dark side described in he note above and yet... here he was lying dead in is bed.

What was the world coming to? A bastion of morals a leader of men lying dead. I can't take it. Those bastards have murdered a man who used his bloodlines guile to aid the masses on hunting down these fiends.

Picking up my Fathers over sized magnum I cock the trigger place the gun to my forehead....
B..........

ang. Halitosis' son hears the gun shot and runs into his grandfathers bedroom. Without any emotion he sees his father and grandfather lying dead a blood splattered note floats to the ground, picking it and quickly reading it he looks at the sorry excuses of men before him. Picks up his Grandfather's gun and expertly screws a silencer into the muzzle. He spits on his Grandfathers corpse before turning to the door and vanishing into the night muttering to himself

"The circus is back in town."

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Ok so let me get this straight.  You are Evil Clowns son and you are leaving us a "terrorists handbook" that your father Evil Clown was in possession of, but as you state lived a good life and shunned that handbook yet was killed anyways?   


Am I following so far?   Now your idea is to circulate this handbook in hopes of getting more stealth shooters shooting body guards and working everyone up in arms possibly getting good, innocent people, possibly even friends of yours, killed on suspicion of stealth killing body guards?

This is your grand idea?  How you want your bloodline remembered?   I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

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I think it was meant as a threat that he was going to run around and shoot bodyguards. Of course that's been happening for months so it's not much of a threat. The only difference is now those shooters won't have a bold suit to hide behind.

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Oh ok. 

So either way you look at it, it is promoting rogue behavior and was a complete waste of time to listen to before witnessing this kid blow his brains all over the sidewalk before anyone could respond or ask questions.

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My bad breathed friend, this handbook might well be invaluable to some.

However, not many have what it takes to go underground.

And random hits, with no direction, do nothing.

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going underground aint hard at all its harder to hit an enemy that doesnt show themself than to hit an enemy thats face to face

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For anyone who wants to join The Muslim Brotherhood, please read this then contact me.

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When giants roamed the earth...

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I see in your thread you claimed credit for what the "terrorists" actually did and you were the cause of "the list"... when in fact the people involved in this were the cause.

Keep dreaming, pal.

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Er, yeah...  Who do you think I worked with?

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Not with these guys. Although I'm sure our bloodlines made you feel like you were. :)

We fed you the info on the kills and you were quite simply a platform to step on and speak through.

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It's well documented and easy.

Get a group together, wait until the target is asleep and attack the bodygaurds.  After that drop them.  No one can stop you.

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