Who Killed LOBSTER? Gillian vs Transistor

Has there ever been a more treacherous time to be named after, involved in the trade of, or selling pasta parcels containing, LOBSTER?

Deliveries are going missing...  It seems that those involved in selling lobster delicacies are being spied on.  The proprietor of the Lobster Ravioli selling restaurant, Gillian, was saying she wanted to kill a number of people who had been talking about lobsters, showers, and other assorted topics.  Sadly for Gillian, most people think she's an unhinged loose cannon, and no fewer than three people sent transcripts of the conversations in which she wanted a made member of a friendly crew killed.

Gillian chops up and sells lobsters.  Some of us have been involved in the discussion and delivery of lobsters.  We should be friends, right?

WRONG

The problem is twofold:  firstly, Gillian is absolutely insane.  Compounding this issue is that most of the leaders of this thing of ours are barely noticeable.  Transistor is a worse communicator than Rufus.  Let that sink in.

Gillian is on (multiple) record(s) saying that she hates Cyrax, Kuku, Fareham, and SaddleFlashing.  Well, we say: Gillian if you go out one day and bump into an asshole - unlucky, you bumped into an asshole.  But if everyone you meet is either an asshole, or an asshole for preventing you kill the alleged asshole, well, maybe you're the issue?

Clearly, Gillian, like Transistor, is a witty, talented, and stylish writer.  Actually, that isn't true, I'm just trying to say at least one positive thing about this pair of talentless broken trollies, but I can't.  One is the loosest cannon in history since the infamous Loose Cannon Massacre Disaster when a cannon fell off a castle wall and flattened a village below.  Never heard of it?  That's because Transistor was doing the PR.  One is nuts, the other puts people to sleep the moment he opens his boring mouth.

Lastly, we have to talk about OliverQueen - what was his involvement in LOBSTER's death?  LOBSTER gambled away his entire $1.5bn fortune and simply wanted some money off of Oliver.  A fellow crew mate.  And what did Oliver do?  

"Hi Commando. With exception of what you said about Transistor: i agree with everything you said about me. I am indeed insane, and i am indeed a loose cannon. Nicely done, little fella, you were right for once." She coughs "now, that will be the last thing you post ill pay attention to, you know, some people have really unhealthy obsessions. Some guy even wrote a bunch of letters which i threw into the garbage without reading. Anyway.. have a good day, son."

Ah, the Kukus. Whether it’s the real one, or another Agent S., it doesn’t really matter.

As for Gillian and Transistor, perhaps they are playing the game. Perhaps Gillian did get annoyed, and wanted to execute Saddle. So what? It doesn’t matter. It had no repercussions because frankly, no one cared. I believe Transistor just enjoys the battle.

I, for one, rarely step in on this Kuku turf. However, I will on this occasion to give a reminder as Sayyid said many times: Don’t feed the trolls.

As a master baiter myself, I can tell anyone, if you ignore them, they will generally give up. It depends on the troll’s tenacity. Even if they continue, when they know nothing, and hear nothing, they are invalidated and emasculated. They’ll likely move onto the next person.

Unfortunately for Gillian, someone decided to kick her while she was already very down by feeding them information about her upset. Whoever did that was inconsiderate, to say the least, but also ineffectual in causing any real damage. I usually don’t mind the Kuku tactics, and find it silly for anyone to get upset, but perhaps it’d be good for the Kukus to use their judgement in terms of who they decide to pick on, and when. She is a learner, and being a taunting child in the schoolyard, isn’t really nice frankly. You do you though. I can’t with a straight face say I don’t enjoy some good baiting myself.

Some people should realize if they haven’t already that “The Kuku” is a just a “Side Quest” in this world of ours. You can choose to deal with it or simply ignore it, which is my preference. There’s no special reward at the end; you’ll walk away with nothing, but do it if you want. Just don’t complain about it if you involve yourself.

I think Gillian should take you up on the lobster, if you, collectively or individually, plan to be civil.

Kisses and toodles.

SpikeS

"Unfortunately for Gillian, someone decided to kick her while she was already very down by feeding them information about her upset."

Eh, no, someone leaked info about her wanting to kill a made member of another crew.  You ignored her wanting to do this despite being a "leader"

Let's not throw the bathwater you bought out with the other bathwater 

Gillian, you should read those letters.  I'll pay you to?

This painting of Gillian as being bullied and kicked while she is down is completely disingenuous.

This all began because Gillian was trying to pick on someone who she thought was a nobody, presumably to show what a tough guy she is. Now that this needlessly aggressive behaviour of telling someone they should shut the fuck up and calling them a fucking freak or a fucking cunt because by her own admission she was "in a bad mood" has come home to roost, and lets face it, it has largely been contained to seafood jokes and references to things she herself offered so where's the fire - she is supposedly being picked on? No, not even close, this, if you can call it anything, is the consequence of acting like an unmitigated dickhead and providing almost limitless ammunition as a result of your own idiocy.

You've said a few times that she's a learner but I've seen no evidence of it. If she actually was learning, perhaps trying some introspection to appreciate how she finds herself in this situation, rather than sending gloating mails to dead people might help? Hardly the strategy I would employ if I wanted people to leave me alone, but hey, I guess that can't be it because Gillian has said multiple times that she isn't bothered at all by any of it and doesn't even read it. Even in this same conversation just before you actually, so I'm confused, which is it? Is she obliviously not arsed at all or spiraling into a shit-fit and needs you to come out here and offer misguided spin to save the day?

When you're seldom the nail, you forget that the hammer actually smarts a bit when it hits you, and I guess that's what has left Gillian rubbing her head. That or all the hooker ass-cocaine; hard to know which is to blame I imagine. I guess we'll never know. It isn't like there are leaked logs which could tell us the answer as to whether she cares or not. They don't matter though. Nobody cares - like you said. Least of all Gillian, like she said, so I guess it'll just have to go on. 

Gillian pouts and pats TomatoPantsJones on the head:

"Awww dont be sad dear little tomato. I know youre annoyed that your father died, but its time to move on. I've moved on, why cant you? Why cant we be friends? We could sniff coke out of hookers assholes together!"

Gillian, I thought you didn't listen to any of our speeches?

"I did now, because i had a great idea. You just offered me money to read those letters. If you really have some money, why dont you start a new writing competition (and actually pay the prizes)? I might even join. This lobster ravioli subject is getting lame. To be honest, i grew tired of eating it. My new favorite ravioli is four cheese."

OK, looks like we've got ourselves a writing competition.  SpikeS, send me an invite

Hearing some commotion in the streets, with a lot of cat calling and hissing but no dead bodies. Just prior, A letter arrived addressed to Ketamine from a homeless person requesting to join her crew. Everyone wants to Feel Good, she thought and this pleased her. 

However, something about the way certain people were acting about this "leaked" information, made Ketamine laugh. "Oooh such a treasure trove of information". 

As she looked on it seemed some of the kuku clan were on a witch hunt, with little tiki torches in hand and howling about some recent deaths. Were they insinuating the New York Don was responsible for the deaths, or was it Oliver? Even the kukus didn't seem to know who to blame. Not a frequent visitor to speeches in the streets, Ketamine was certain that she couldn't recall OliverQueen ever laying claims to such powerful persuasion and she has known him for a very long time. She did know that most often nuisances were often disposed of like trash. "No lessons learned there either, I guess", she shrugged. 

As she pondered this, someone bumped her. What is this, an associate of her crew in hot red pants joining in with the kukus saying it's hammer time or something? This vexed her so she yelled out to them, "Careful there little one, hammers around tomatoes may leave you to catchup". Ketamine rarely giggled but the the joke couldn't be contained. It feels good to laugh, she thought. That was twice today so far.... "Yay"!

Ketamine made a mental note to inquire about a competition. Perhaps she would withdraw some of her vast fortune to fund it. Or maybe just enough to get Commando some underpants. 

Ketamine, your lineage killed almost the entire world.  This endears you to a subsection of the competitive writing community - the death cult section, so called because of the terrible toll of the late Lincoln_Lawyer's contest.

But this one doesn't have to be lethal.

It is how one exercises their power that they'll be remembered for, no?

Ketamine was very careful to avert her eyes from commando one..."What in god's name are you barking about? I killed an entire world? Yeesh are you mixed up". All of this hot air was kicking up the wind in the streets, "Stop being hysterical and flopping around like a limp noodle. It's sad; albeit pretty funny. Thanks for the laugh. Again. Double Yay"!

Listens to Ketamine.

Haha! Good joke, Boss!! 

Leaves.

Gigantopithecus busts through the door followed by a team of half a dozen very official looking individuals in suits and Georgette, the intern, taking notes on the proper way to bust down a door and hurl abuse at street dwellers...

HEY! JUST WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!? IS SOMEONE THROWING AROUND THE IDEA OF A WRITING COMPETITION? A COMPETITIVE WRITING COMPETITION?!?!?!?!!!!!

Things are really going to hell around here. People seem to think they can just announce a writing competition and that's all there is to it. PERMITS, PEOPLE! PERMITS! If you wish to hold a writing competition, you must seek the approval and oversight of The Competition Commission. 

Georgette! Has a permit application been sent in by anyone named Commando?

Georgette: "No....I don't see anything...wait, what's this...it looks like he was barred due to a lien against all prize funds, pools, winnings, and claims, both held by and owed to entrants and non-entrants alike".

Commando, until such time as a certain debt of SEVENTY-EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS is paid to the rightful creditor, Godfather Transistor, you are barred from participating or facilitating any sort of competitive competitions that are under the jurisdiction of The Competition Commission. This is pursuant to Section...errrr.....Paragraph...errr....Georgette!

Georgette: "Section 7, Paragraph 8, clause 13"

Thank you. What she said...stating that anyone owing a debt to a potential contest participant may not hold a competition due to the appearance of impropriety if that creditor were to win a prize as an entrant or non-entrant. The Competition Commission reviews all permit applications for such conflicts, and upon a determination that the applicant is a dick, the applicant is barred. It says here that you did not submit an application, so the Commission reviewed you as a non-applicant. Georgette! Findings?!?

Georgette: "It was determined on March 31 that the non-applicant is a dick".

Well. I guess we don't really need to go much further here, then. Commando, please remit the sum of SEVENTY-EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS to Transistor immediately and then you can begin working to get back into the good graces of The Competition Commission.