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| So you wanna marry a Goomba | Started by: HollywoodUndead on May 28, '08 20:51 |
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HollywoodUndead approaches the streets of Philadelphia and trips over a large rock that was obviously placed in his way by his boss, Eyzlee. "Damn that Eyzlee, always trying to hurt me...makes me sad" he thought to himself as he strolled to the corner." He stands up on a mailbox that is on the corner of the street and lights a cigarette. As he takes the cigarette from his lips he clears his throat in an attempt to get the attention of his fellow Mafiosi. I come to you all today because I have an offer for all of you, well mostly the females, but the men are free to apply, though they most likely won't get considered. I am giving you the chance of a lifetime. I am giving you the chance to marry a GOOMBA! OMFGZOR, that's right, a chance to marry me, a proud Sexy Number Goomba. Please hold your excitement for the applications. The criteria for this application are as follows: 1) Must have large breasts...I am a man who likes some boobies. If you have small breasts you can go ahead and apply anyway, the other aspects may overcome the breast issue. 2) Must be able to make intelligent conversation. I may not be the brightest crayon in the 12 pack but I like my women to be smarter than I am. Yes, there will be an IQ test after the application...I lie, no test. 3) Must like music. I am very into music and it always makes for great conversation between people. I play a few instruments, and it would be a good thing if you can too, but it's acceptable if you can't, many people can't play. I revolve my life around music, for the most part, well besides my life of crime but that's another story. Think you have what it takes to marry the best goomba ever? Drop me a line and we'll have a talk. HollywoodUndead hops off of the mail box and posts a sheet of paper on the nearest telephone pole that have little slips of paper with his phone number on it. Call me! HollywoodUndead walks off towards his cheap apartment and wait by the phone. |
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Ya know what... someone should really start a speed dating service for these people. Thank god I don't have this problem. *walks away with two very sleezy but VERY sexy women, one under each arm.* |
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| Reply by: Tyrant at May 28, '08 20:57 | |
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| Haha. Nice. Too bad no one actually wants to marry a goomba. (I tried.) :*( | |
| Reply by: Kishla at May 28, '08 21:00 | |
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Goomba's need love too. :( You guys suck... Runs away screaming |
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| Reply by: HollywoodUndead at May 28, '08 21:01 | |
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Carnalita walks down the streets of philly, hails down a cap so she can get home to NY after a long day of business... she notices a man running down the street screaming like a retard wow.. didnt know philadelphia had that sort, poor guy.. he would be kind of cute if it wasnt for his random acts |
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| Reply by: Carnalita at May 28, '08 21:18 | |
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| Templar that's a great idea! Speed dating service! I hear your "dates" last about 2.4 seconds, so you should start it up. | |
| Reply by: Kevin_Leman at May 28, '08 21:52 | |
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I think you got me confused with someone else buddy. First my name isn't templar. Second, my swaggar runs long buddy. My dates last about 2.4 weeks, pimpin'.... or untill I wear them out. ;) |
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| Reply by: Tyrant at May 28, '08 21:56 | |
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Over hearing the want of a lover for Mr.Undead The_Fallen perks up. Our bloodlines have been married before, SuperSao and The_Fallen. I feel its only necessary that we are to be wed. Below are what you can have. 1.)Hard bodied stud. 2.)Obviously more intelligent than yourself. 3.)Long walks on the beach with a 45 on my back. So really you get all three. Sexy Educated Xhilirating See enough said. I accept you as my wife. Grins widely in between cigarette drags. |
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| Reply by: The_Fallen at May 28, '08 23:11 | |
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If I remember correctly when our forefathers got married...you're great great etc grandfather was the catcher, and the wife. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm not so don't correct me. So there's one applicant...probably the only one. Hollywood gets a little teary eyed |
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| Reply by: HollywoodUndead at May 28, '08 23:14 | |
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Skulls walks by as Hollywood runs past him screaming and crying What did you guys do to that tortured soul?! He's just trying to find a companion to spend his life and little cash with! Looks on as Hollywood tears down the street, crying his eyes out over the other mean mafiosi |
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| Reply by: Skulls at May 28, '08 23:15 | |
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Well we basicly hog tied him and forced him to love us. I know it sounds horrible. I believe monday, wednesday, and friday your great great grandfather was cather and tuesday, thursday, and saturday my great great grandfather was cather then sunday was the day off. Nods feeling he has correctly addressed the public. |
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| Reply by: The_Fallen at May 28, '08 23:26 | |
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Walking down the street, Maddison hears this impassioned speech by this very attractive man and decides to stick around to hear what the three requirements are. She hears number one and smiles widely and thinks to herself 'damn this might not be as hard as I thought'. She then listens to number two, and being one of the few women with a college education, she figures she has this one locked up as well. Number three, music. Hmmm...being a huge fan of music, she waits for the man to finish before approaching him. Well my good man, I can proudly say that I meet all three of your requirements. I know I'm older than you, but just barely, and I think this could work. I would like to discuss this more someplace where there is a little more privacy. How about we go out for coffee somewhere, or perhaps hit up TheLoveDoctor's pasta place in Philly. I hope you have some money and means to get there, because I know I do! Well, I hope I have impressed you enough to get a reply. She walks away, shaking her butt a little bit, then looks over her shoulder and winks, disappearing down the street. |
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| Reply by: MaddisonAtkins at May 28, '08 23:37 | |
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Hollywood smiles as Maddison explains that she meets all three requirements and looks at her body and agrees to himself that she has number one in the bag. Man with a body like that I don't care if she's lying about the rest. Hollywood cackles loudly Now Fallen, I do believe you are wrong, my family has always been known as the pitcher, but you can lie and say differently just to make yourself feel better Hollywood cackles maniacally again |
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| Reply by: HollywoodUndead at May 28, '08 23:53 | |
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Ignores Undead. Seeing that you're a special boy I will ignore you. Hums to himself. |
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| Reply by: The_Fallen at May 29, '08 02:03 | |
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