Tommy watched as the casket was slowly lowered into the ground. The funeral was well attended, breaking with tradition for this family line. Once upon a time lots of people had thrown dirt over the giants of the Kuku line such as Richard_Kuklinksi or The_Big_K, but after so many years of so many promptly shorn branches, the family tree was little more than a desiccated husk, dropping out timid saplings which died almost as quickly as they took root. It had been a surprise to many to see Kuku survive as long as he did before the poison in his blood finally bubbled to the surface and he failed to wack a Goomba; another family tradition. 

At the front of the line of those wishing to pay their respects was AdamSmasher. The aged Godfather-Chairman rarely left her HQ averaging a street appearance every couple of months so it was almost an honour as she announced "No WS required" to the gathered mourners before quickly leaving.

Hot on the heels on AdamSmasher was none other than Old Joe himself, the newly proclaimed Leader of The Streets. Another trinket for his collection. He reached down to grab a handful of dirt to throw over Kuku's bones and as he does so, his keys tumbled out of his pocket. Cursing, he reached for them, unfortunately kicking them in the process sending them tumbling into the recently deposited earth over his predecessor's coffin. Before he could move, RufusWatchdog nimbly hopped down onto the wooden box and fished them out for Joe. "Ah, they beat me to it," he said, jerking a thumb in Rufus's direction. LongLeggedLarry laughed sycophantically. "We should of auctioned this shot off, talk about community involvement." Larry laughed again, louder and even less sincerely than before. Tommy sighed.  

Rufus looked up from Kuku's trench. "How could I not be surprised," he asked and as usual nobody really knew what he was talking about. Larry looked at Joe to see how he should react. Ligambi favoured Rufus with an indulgent smile and Larry beamed broadly next to him. Rufus began to climb out of the dirt, "rip anyway", he threw over his shoulder now covered head to toe in mulch. The others took a couple of steps away from him allowing him to make it to the graveside and he held the ring of keys out to Joe, the letters "H" and "Q" visible on the now mud-encrusted keyring.

StripheCorelli stood next in line, head bowed, a stride away from the mourners ahead of him who had now turned their backs and begun to head off. Before he could share his thoughts, LongLeggedLarry quickly turned back, spread his arms wide and shouted "$88,000,000!!" at the top of his lungs. He looked at Ligambi and Rufus expectantly and neither laughed. Ligambi looked embarrassed for him. Rufus looked like he didn't know what day it was. Both turned away and crestfallen, Larry slunk in tow.

"RIP" Striphe said, thinking it was best for everyone to push on and ignore Larry without comment - a strategy well honed by the speech-attending members of the Streets. He threw a handful of dirt into the grave and gestured for JimmySilver to come forwards. By Tommy's count that was a Godfather Chairman, two Dons, a RHM and two LHM who had all come to mark the passing of the former Leader of the Streets. Quite the show for this trash human and that was excluding Tommy himself, someone unfortunate enough to have shared a HQ with Kuku.

As Jimmy finished speaking and the crowd of well heeled mobsters began to disperse, Tommy walked up to the edge of the grave. How did he feel about the passing of this wretched buffoon? Certainly not sad. Far from sad. Not quite happy, that was probably a bit much and suggested Kuku had an impact on him beyond an acknowledgment that his continued existence had been a bit of a noisy chore, like a neighbour vacuuming. What words would be appropriate? A GRHS? "Rest in peace", maybe? No. Something lamer. Something cheesier; that was more Tommy's style and he allowed himself a smirk, knowing he'd had an epiphany, and picked up a handful of earth and tossed it in. "RIP, Son," he said for the first time that anyone had ever said that over a Kuku corpse. That was a zinger that Larry would have been proud of, Tommy knew. A shame nobody was around to hear it.  

Larry walks by a crazed man on the street corner recounting the events of a funeral he didn't even attend.

He tosses a few bucks into the busker's hat, noticing he had brass instruments coming out from every opening of his attire.

"You don't look like you could jump very high, but I appreciate your omnipotence all the same."

Dang I missed the funeral too. Ah well, it's a shame I'm gonna miss the roasts that came about from Kuku's laborious long winded articles. I guess I share similar sentiments and wish you a "rip son" as well. May your next life be full of hopefully wittier banter and your next battles chose wiser.