The Kuku bloodline has little, if anything, to brag about. They are crass, irritating and a near but not constant threat to sponsored Goombas across America. One thing they do have in their favour though is the ability to create a scene. Is this an admirable quality? I'm not really sure. A toddler makes a scene throwing sausages in a restaurant. We don't stand up and applaud as the last frankfurter hits the waitress, do we? As a drunk causes a commotion being sick on his own shoes outside the local eatery, people aren't queuing up for his autograph. We shun them, push them into the gutter and hope they don't make it back up again before we've managed to walk on by.

So it has always been with Kuku and his last tenure as the Leader of The Streets has proven little different. Like a particularly repulsive stone thrown into a pond, he created a ripple between his declaration as LoTS on 15th May and his inevitable demise as a result of a failed Goomba wack on 25th May. The Streets, for better or worse, were alive and discussion was happening (albeit LongLeggedLarry still managed to buck that trend with 1 visitor across his two speeches).

Since his death, Joseph Ligambi has been anointed as the new Leader of The Streets. In his inauguration speech LongLeggedLarry announced that we would get "a more humble and reasonable [LoTS]" who would "work for the people and not against them". There was some talk of positions and numbers after that, which honestly didn't keep my interest as who wants to hear someone waffle on about numbers all afternoon when what they really care about is how the two leaders compare to each other.

So, lets look at some numbers:

Kuku

Time leading the Streets: 10 days

Cause of death: Failed Goomba assassination 

Original street discussions during his tenure excluding auth announcements (15/05 - 25/05 (12:47)): 21

Total replies: 126

Average number of replies: 6

Times called people 'Son': 6

Number of 'daily updates' provided: 1 

Most memorable moment: Running a $23m writing competition without anyone dying

Times LongLeggedLarry made a speech with less than 2 replies: 2

Joseph_Ligambi

Time leading the Streets: 16 days

Cause of death: Currently unknown. Speculated to be getting trapped in a tight space whilst searching for errant HQ keys 

Original street discussions during his tenure excluding auth announcements (12:47, 25/05 -): 15

Total replies: 36

Average number of replies: 2.4

Times called people 'Son': 0

Number of 'daily updates' provided: 0

Most memorable moment: Running a $30m writing competition which nobody entered

Times LongLeggedLarry made a speech with less than 2 replies: 1

Following this robust investigation, what conclusions can be drawn? 

Well, for all his loudmouth chicanery, Kuku oversaw a greater number of discussions during his tenure and those which were started tended to gain more traction and Joe called people 'Son' less. 

The common denominator remains that neither man was capable of drawing a crowd to a LongLeggedLarry speech.

Do we need a new Leader of The Streets or is less than a discussion a day, with just over 2 replies the optimum level of Street-leading? How are you feeling in the Joe Ligambi era? Underwhelmed or humbly reassured by his hands off, less Son calling approach? Please let me know.

Here's the thing: many agree that Kuku is among the most naturally talented Street speakers of his generation, granting, and in some cases even forgiving, his reputation as a demonstratively surly and braggadocious pimp with a temper and thirst for violence. The pornographic vulgarity that powers his vocabulary is only outmatched by the relentless indecency by which he conducts himself, leaving no respite for Goomba or allied pro-wacker alike in his libertine wake. I have spent years considering him not only my greatest enemy, but a threat to the stability of modern civilization as a whole, and were I a less even-tempered man, I would pledge my life to erasing every last venereal strain of his lineage from our proud American Mafia. 

With that said, he did a good job as the LoTS. It's hard to argue with the numbers. But Kuku has generations of experience in the role. We need to give Steady Joe time. 

Will sleepy Joe start a forever war by killing his own right hand man for telling a joke? If so he gets my vote for LOTS.

The former LOTS was complacent and showed reprehensible laxity with his attempted goomba murder but boy did he draw a crowd. Something LongLeggedLarry would love to do, but sadly seems incapable of. 

First of all, there is a serious matter at hand that needs to be addressed.

It took me long enough to get out here for this sole reason: I was heading for one of LongLeggedLarry 's speeches, but a man in a trenchcoat turned me away with the barrel of his Colt 1911. He ushered me into the back of a Cadillac and drove me off to a cabin where I was held for days, unable to attend the speech I so dearly wished. It's a conspiracy I tell you. That's the only excuse I'd have to miss the man wax poetic, he's a champion jumper and mensch. I denounce anyone who says otherwise. This happened not once but twice. I've increased my very own security personnel in response. I'll be damned if I'm caught with my pants down again. 

Alas, we aren't here to address this issue. We are here to discuss the matter of LoTS.

Everyone can see the amount of discussion our former LoTS brought to these corners, but I would argue that it isn't always about the numbers. As it is, bringing more faces out here is something that even you, TommyTheTrumpet seem very capable of accomplishing. Sometimes it's just a matter of who is willing to strike the right nerve at the right time.

All that being said, I never tire of reading about the exploits of the likes of Uncle Joe and the others who take the time to come out here to tell their tales. The times that these LoTS reign are called eras for a reason. Why should every term under a LoTS be identical? It's nice to have a look at something a bit more peaceful than what Kuku offers for the role. That being said, I wouldn't mind having something to give a chuckle or two at with my morning smoothie.

Uncle Joe is just now getting into his stride at this point. It took him a month to locate those slippery keys so give him a little time to get the ball rolling. 

Hugo, you lost me when you said everyone agreed that Kuku was one of the most talented speakers of his generation. That is something I am sure is very much contested. All he has done is hone a very confrontational approach without any substance behind it. Bluster we call that in the business. All sizzle, no sausage, which in Kuku's case would be stuffed into an electrical appliance, maybe a toaster, just so he could point out to everyone that it wasn't working. That's the second sausage analogy I've used today and if you hadn't guessed I'm very hungry. What are you going to do about it? 

Serwa, I'm not sure that is the type of criteria we should be looking at when determining who should be LoTS. We should probably keep this to just the most pertinent information, i.e. how many times was 'Son' used as a means of causing offense and/or a term of endearment etc. I'm open to broadening the determining factors a little bit, but whether or not they would kill their own RHM to start a war is beyond the scope of this investigation. Joe's here, steady, sleepy or any of the other 7 dwarves notwithstanding, and he's leading. ish. 

And, to the crux of the matter here Vittorio, even I am capable of bringing faces out here? Even me? What slander. Playing down my accomplishments in driving discourse is nearly as disingenuous as that 'Oh I wanted to hear LongLeggedLarry speak, but I was bullied out of it' pack of lies you spouted off right before it. One of the most powerful men in the country waylaid in the Streets? Please. Do you know how many times he's heard that before? This is a man who has a generational talent of delivering unintentional soliloquys. His skill of forcing away listeners has been hardened in this Street crucible and refined through his lineage to the point where he can open his mouth straight after one of Godfather Petah's packed stand-up comedy shows and clear the house before he's finished his first sentence. Your false promises are transparent. Just like that slight to me. I'll have you know that what I lack in sent mails, I make up for 28 fold in street debates. 

Pushing that aside together with your excuses for ignoring Larry, which is a can of worms we need to keep closed unless we want to hear 500 other people lie as well, I don't want to hear any more talk about numbers, you're right there. Numbers are for calculators and lonely virgins and this has absolutely nothing to do with RufusWatchdog. I'm wide open for Joe to lead the Streets at a more pedestrian pace. I'd put myself in the humbly reassured category I guess. 

I think the evidence is pretty clear. It's been almost a month since I have been called "Son", and I don't like it one bit.  Uncle Joe is all flash, no substance. He's not really a leader of the streets so much as someone who comes out, mumbles a few words, and then disappears. There's not much leading going on. To be fair, he was clear from the beginning that he did not want the role, but nevertheless he was pushed into it and we need someone who can do the job with exuberance and dedication.

Even someone like Tommy can see that we are missing that certain something that makes us want to engage. It has lead to the streets becoming more desolate. Tumbleweeds are rolling by, folks. Not cool.

Better off? I'm not sure how. Perhaps the conversations have become less emotionally charged, as Kuku tended to inspire that reaction from a large swath of the population. But that sort of emotion is what keeps people working hard to achieve their goals, or in some cases, keep others from achieving theirs. Nobody ever prospered from being bored to sleep.

You raise a valid point, Willie. Joe was clear from the outset that he did not attribute much value to the fabled position of the Leader of The Streets describing it as meaning "absolutely nothing" to him and I guess that shows. Kuku, for his many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many flaws did at least see the importance of the role. Was that because he had little else tangible to claim to? Perhaps. Regardless the outcome was the same, a lot more interaction.

A small piece of advice, if you wish to be called 'Son' more, have you thought about calling your mother? Knowing her, I'm sure it would be a far more enjoyable experience than having a conversation with Kuku.  

The latest round of power ranking have been published and Leader of The Streets Joseph_Ligambi has slipped to #5. Vittorio who kindly graced this discussion with his presence (before rudely implying that even I, #2 TommyTheTrumpet, was capable of driving street discourse, as if this was some feat that I, a two time top debate starter should be proud of) has risen to the fabled #1 position. I'm not a maths dork so I don't concern myself with numbers of any persuasion, even if they do suggest that I'm the 2nd most important person in the Streets right now, however Joe's fall and Vittorio's rise...could this be the ushering in a new era of street leadership?