A New Dawn Has Broken, Has it Not?

The recent violence has not yet stopped, so we should remember those that have fallen.  And we should remember those who fell in other conflicts in which scores of people died.  We remember Lincoln_Lawyer's writing competition, now notorious in our shared history.  We remember other wars in which only a lucky few were left standing.  We remember Wendy's successful shootings only a few days ago.

But, mostly, we are left with two abiding memories.  And they are linked.

We remember Hugo's heroics.  Hugo killed LilPeep because LilPeep was so horrifically unstylish.  LilPeep was disgusting, an awful human being who, flying in the face of received wisdom about books and covers, was even worse than he looked.  And he looked like a giant pile of manure.  Every day since his death has been a happier day since his passing.  So we remember Hugo and his sacrifice for the better society that we live in today.  

And we remember the Fareham War, another multi-fatality event involving Lincoln_Lawyer.  Someone told a joke, so Constipated started killing people not related to the telling of said joke - despite being well known for their sense of humour and such.  Almost everyone died.

And it is the twinned concepts of heroic sacrifice, comedy, and style that brings us to the society of today.

LilPeep's son, Luis_Pengali is now leading a crew.  His father, LilPeep was a witness buffoon, but a silent witless buffoon.  Luis is remarkably vocal - and it is one of the most amusing spectacles to perform in this thing of ours for some time.  We welcome his elevation to a position of power, and look forward to further excruciating outbursts as he tries to reconcile his pathetic lineage with the challenges of contemporary life.  He will fail, of course, but it will be hilarious to watch.

Last, and very much least, we pay tribute to the legions of gunmen who leave alive a man for whom being an object of public  ridicule has become the totality of identity.  I am talking, of course, about Larry.  This giver of many speeches, but receiver of few replies, stands peerless in the ranks of the publicly shamed and irretrievably stupid.  Speech after speech after speech was given in the vain hope of creating a public profile that compensated for his father being purged by the very same people who now employ him.  It failed, though, as did Larry's attempts to kill the late regrets.

Not even MrSki, who apparently got his intelligence wrong and instead of purging the potential rogue and the potential rogue's assistant, killed everyone except the rogues.

We have to give credit where it is due, however.  Not one single person who was felled by the guns of the righteous rebels will be remembered, save for the names of Luis and Larry.  Their names will reverberate on, as the butt of numerous jokes.  In private conversations everywhere: they are remembered.  Where once OliverQueen was discussed and laughed at, now Luis and Larry are.

It takes individuals of rare temperament and presence to replace Monseigneur Muesli as the biggest joke in this thing of ours: but Luis and Larry have done it.

Boat drinks, my friends.  Boat drinks. 

Personally, I think it is time that we began to consider Luis_Patangeli as a new Leader of the Streets. Joseph_Ligambi's time in the position has been, at best, mixed. It started off with a bang, multiple stories were told and a meteoric rise to #1 VIP followed. Kuku died. Discussions were held and he was coronated. Kuku died a few more times. Since then though, yes, Kuku has died another time of twenty, but Joe has gone quiet. His HQ doors, now firmly locked with the keys kept safe on a hook adjacent to them, seem to have slammed shut.

Meanwhile, Luis_Patangeli has emerged as the foremost speaker of our time. Sure, a lot of that time has been spent defending his prior actions but his record stands up to scrutiny in a way that few others around here can claim. 

I agree with you, JeremyCorbyn, Luis is remarkably vocal and we should endorse him as the new LOTS. 

I've heard people refer to the deceased Al-Bundy as "the new Constipated", JeremyCorbyn. What do you think about that? Both have come into great renown over their punishments for telling jokes. There is a story about how Bundy demoted the same person twice over a couple puns. Should his death at the hands of Wendy be more of a cause for celebration, given he was not afforded the time to set in motion a world-ending massacre as his mentor Constipated did? 

Thank you Grin-24, and SeniorVicePresident.

I'm not sure there's any reason to be proud of Kuku's relentless but effective bloodlining of the Al-Bundy lineage. If anything, it seems obvious to me that it's played an instrumental role in creating the boorish Bundy of late, and why news of his death was greeted with laughter and jubilation, and not grief. You can't help but wonder who Bundy could've been had his ancestors not faced so many humiliating public defeats in such short order.