MR OLYMPICS: DETROIT

Cuboyd steps up to address the massive and loud gathered crowd for the opening ceremony of the first annual MR Olympics. He’s dressed in his best suit, he always was, but this time it was apt. The stage was set for a week of mayhem from start to finish. Cuboyd was given the role of Official Olympic Correspondent for Detroit by @LongLeggedLarry. An opportunity he was extremely grateful to have. In this role, Cuboyd will report through the week’s events bringing you everything you need to know about everything Detroit, including some very special, exclusive interviews if Cuboyd can find anyone with a spare ten minutes to answer a few questions for the people. Cuboyd cleared his throat before stepping up to the microphone.

“Ladies, Gentlemen and Penguins of all ages start your engines, The Motor City is HERE and it’s ready for the MR OLYMPICS in all its glory. 

This week, the best of the best from all over the country take part in the first annual MR Olympics. There will be carnage in the streets all over as Tyler Durden and his band of goons look to cause chaos as they always do. There will be drops, there will be RATs, there will be hardened criminals back on the streets after being broken out, there will be mass panic in the streets of Detroit if @Ruffian hasn’t packed his lucky designer thong for the week’s shenanigans.” 

Cuboyd chuckled and waited for the crowd to restore order.

”Don’t worry folks, I’ve made it a priority that they thongs make it there. All jokes aside, we may not have the biggest numbers, but we’ll sure as hell have the biggest hearts and you can be damn sure the team we have will make each and everyone of you proud. I want to thank each and everyone of you all for coming out today to offer your continuous support for the team, you have no idea how much confidence the team will get, all because you all believe, just as we do. I would also like to publicly thank @LongLeggedLarry for allowing me to be able to bring you all the latest news and developments from the next few days. It’s an incredible opportunity and I will not let you or anyone standing here today down.”

Cuboyd unveiled a massive, chequered flag to the crowds amazement.

”Now everyone, let’s get ready to rumble!” Cuboyd screamed as he waved the chequered flag which prompted two black Auburn 851 Boattail Speedsters to whizz past Cuboyd marking the beginning of Detroit’s participation in the Olympic Games. A marching band began to play and confetti drizzled from the sky as the eager participants of Team Detroit make their way through the streets. The team wave enthusiastically and smile at the excited crowd. Men, women and children of all ages believe. The belief had been growing stronger within the city as the Games came closer, but no one could have predicted the turn out and the backing from the hard-working, loving and tough Detroit-loyal in the Main Street of Detroit here today. Right here, in the heart of the city is where the team gain the courage, strength and perseverance to go on and make this proud city rise once again and fulfill its destiny. Do it for the people!

 

Cuboyd rounded up the gathered crowd in the bloody streets to share an update on Day 1 of the MR Olympics.

"Well what a day that was, your star Olympians were pretty busy exchanging shots with Tyler Durden and his band of goons. Of course, they are still roaming these streets but they don't stand a chance. Speaking of which..." Cuboyd halted as he spotted one of the goons in the crowd and without hesitation, put a bullet between their eyes. Their lifeless body dropped as their blood splattered over the nearby bystanders. Cuboyd acknowledged the affected people.

"Apologies for that, please feel free to send me the dry cleaning bill. Anyhow moving on. Detroit started off strong in the first day of the event. We claimed Gold and Silver in the first event so let's egg the team on to keep the momentum going and keep they medals coming in. There was difficulties behind the Day 2 event so please bear with us, there's a lot more Volleyballs to be shot at so keep weary and if you see any suspicious activity please let your nearest Olympian know, any information helps hopefully bring more of these medals home and restore the pride of Detroit" Cuboyd declared.

Cuboyd waved off the crowd to great elation before heading round with his cube-shaped binoculars to attempt to find a Volleyball.

The gathered crowd seemed to double since yesterday, the success of Detroit had piqued a few interests. Casual and non-casual viewers alike had grouped together to show their support for the Olympians representing Detroit. Cuboyd once again appeared to a boisterous response from the crowd. Cuboyd raised a hand to signal silence from the crowd. 

"Good afternoon once again from your correspondent of this First Annual MR Olympics. I would first of all like to begin todays update with a moment of silence for the fallen of the recent troubles over on the West Coast."

Cuboyd bowed his head, the respectful crowd followed, everyone of them acknowledging the recently fallen mobsters. After a silent few moments, Cuboyd raised his head again to address the crowd.

"Thank you for your respects. Now moving on to the reason you are all here today, we are past the midway stage of the second event in these Olympic Games. We've seen Volleyballs been kicked, shot, blasted, punched and even headered from city to city. Some periods it goes through quick action from place to place, other times it leaves a crazy trail of destruction. What I can say is I would like to thank you all once again for your continued support for the team and your spectacular vision for helping us keep this pesky, round bastard from being in our city for too long. Please keep letting one of the Olympians know if you see them around anywhere, it may help us win some more medals but most importantly, keep showing your Olympians the love you've been showered us all with, you all have no idea the boost it gives us all knowing we have the backing of the best crowd around."

The crowd cheered and roared with thunderous applause. The applause was short lived as a young boy in the crowd screamed and pointed to a round figure which had landed in the middle of the road of the main street. The crowd was silent. Ruffian took it upon himself to sprint towards the road. He got within range and whipped out his pistol and sent the fucker back to some other city to make it their problem. Ruffian blew the smoke from his pistol and walked over to the young boy to shake his hand and put him up on his shoulders to parade the young man for his effort, this was met with a massive boom from the crowd who erupted back into celebration again. The spirit of Detroit runs riot still.

It was that time once again, the crowds gathered in their masses. The atmosphere was incredible. Bellowing of "De-troit, De-troit, De-troit" rang through the buildings and streets of this great city. Cuboyd stood backstage in awe, he didn't think in a million years there would be this much traction and support in the camp for these Olympians. It was breathtakingly beautiful. If he could, he would have stayed behind the curtains all day just to watch, listen and enjoy this rush. But alas, it was showtime. Cuboyd walked out to a thunderous ovation. He smiled, waved and blew kisses in every single direction to make sure not one side felt left out. 

"Well my fellow Motor City enthusiasts...ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?" Cuboyd screamed with his arms spread wide to each side. He was met with an eruption of cheers from the crowd. "Well your Olympians have been busy, busy and BUSY. The extended Volleyball Event certainly lived up to the expectation and potential. It was passed around from pillar to post using every single possible method. I don't wanna sound like to broken record but we really have you guys to thank. What a team we have behind the team." Cuboyd blew kisses and pointed to the crowd while thanking them profusely for their efforts. 

"Once again when one even event finishes another must begin and oh boy do we have an event for you there. We have ourselves the Archery. Pesky Rogues and Roguettes will pop up everywhere in the streets of every single city. It's up to our sharp-shooting Olympians to get ahead of the curve and hit the bullseye! If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that Detroit will once again be putting there life and soul into this event and you better believe they'll be working tirelessly to once again bring some medals home for the mantelpiece so let's once again back the team and get right behind them!" Cuboyd excitedly declared while pointing to the star Olympians who would be representing this great city.

Elation. Pure elation. The spirits were flying high and fast in the streets of Detroit. Cuboyd walked out once again to address the gathered crowd to update them once again about how their proud team of incredible Olympians were getting on. 

"Good afternoon my fellow Detroitians, are you enjoying the event so far?" Cuboyd sarcastically questioned

He knew there would only be one response. 

"YES!" The crowd buzzed in unison. 

"Do you reckon your Olympians have been doing a disappointing job for you all so far?" Cuboyd tilted his head while asking to try and catch the crowd out but they were too quick. The boos echoed throughout the city.

"Ah you know I'm kidding. The team have been just excellent haven't they? As you will all be well aware, we had a very special moment yesterday as we had another member on the podium, we got another Silver Medal! Big round of applause please!" Cuboyd exclaimed while continuously raising his voice toward the end of the sentence in order to announce. The crowd went crazy, chants of "Static! Static! Static!" roared their way down through every block. He was the hero of yesterdays event. 

"Now we move onto to forecasting tomorrows event. We've got the Gymnastics event! Yeah we're all gonna have to be pretty flexible to break these criminals out of jail. That being said, I would ask all of you to remain in your homes tomorrow as there will be a metric fuck tonne of bad guys around but fear not, once the event is over these criminals will be caught and secured straight back into their cells to rot for their crimes, mobsters eh? We look forward to the penultimate event tomorrow and we hope to hear you scream from your homes in support of your Olympians. Let's go for Gold once more!" Cuboyd screamed.

He started the chants of "De-troit! De-troit, De-troit" once more before vanishing into the shadows to prepare for some gymnastic madness.

Taking to the streets these days was an absolute joy. Cuboyd almost looked forward to it more than the events nowadays, almost. He was addicted to the atmosphere, hooked on the emotion of the crowd and he wasn't looking forward to seeing the back of it. He knew he had to take every single moment in and take advantage of the next few afternoons addressing the crowd. He thrived on the excitement and the enthusiasm of the crowd, especially when it was good news they were waiting on. 

The crowd was surrounded by officers of the law, not because of potential riots or anything like that, oh no. It was because not all of the criminals that were yanked from prison yesterday have been thrown back in where they belong. It didn't stop the crowd turning up in their masses, nothing would stop the pride of Detroit, not a chance. 

Cuboyd arrived with a few of his bodyguards in tow, you couldn't be too sure which criminals could be lurking in the crowd. The crowd didn't care though, the cheers once again rang through Cuboyd's ears, the noise could have registered in a different continent.

"That time again ladies and gentlemen! Your team managed to break a bunch of criminals out of jail all day and night. Be weary there may still be a few hanging around that were missed, if so please point them out to your nearest police officer. If you are unsure of what they may look like, just picture Ruffian and scream. Jokes aside, please be careful." Cuboyd turned serious after joking to the crowd.

"Tomorrow is the final event, there will be a massive spree of all kinds of crime so once again I would advise cheering on the team from indoors. Especially old ladies with purses. At least for the next twenty four hours anyway. Aaaaand so, for one last time I need you to cheer your hearts out, from indoors please, for TEAM DETROIT! Let's make sure they get they get the reception they deserve on this last stretch of the competition. LETS GO!" 

Cuboyd was about to leave the stage until he noticed a black-marked jumpsuit in the crowd, he dived into the front row and tackled the criminal who had evaded the police. He put him in a headlock on the floor before he was detained by the police officers. The crowd cheered and patted Cuboyd on the back before he was escorted back to his car to go home in preparation of the final event. 

The First Annual MR Olympics were officially over and now the dreaded cleaning operation would begin. Durdens were picked off one by one while returning the odd shot or two, there were RATs brains plastered all over the streets with bags of cocaine being retrieved also. Volleyballs were punted from city to city to city to city. Even the most well guarded and hardened criminals were repeatedly broken out of jail only to be sent straight back and broke out in a time loop which eventually ended with all the criminals having to be put in maximum security prison just to stop mobsters breaking them out. Petty, felony and organised crimes saw a massive spike and reached record numbers for one day exclusively and all the while there was drugs being dealt 24/7. It was a profitable week for mobsters, but an absolute nightmare for law enforcement. 

Cuboyd addressed the gathered crowd for the final time. The serotonin tore through his bones and nerves as he got up on that stage one last time to give the final update for these First Annual MR Olympics.

"Hello everyone, well God damn the last week has been busy, eh? Let's give it up for your Olympians!" Cuboyd cued the applause, quite rightfully so. The Olympians had an absolutely fantastic week and needed to be showered in every form of praise they possibly could be. The Olympians made their way to the stage, the fortunate few flaunting their medals from the weekend. 

"What a team folks, what a team. These fine ladies and gentlemen have shed blood, sweat and tears to be standing here today in front of you today, I cannot tell you how proud everyone is that we have gave Detroit a fighting chance of finishing on the podium this year. Whatever happens though, you can rest assured they will just be proud that they could go out there and perform their hearts out for you. For Detroit. Give it up one more time folks!" Cuboyd looked at the Olympians and joined in with the applause, shaking every one of their hands firmly thanking them for their efforts and courage before turning back to face the crowd.

"I am hearing there has been a bit of a delay with the final medal ceremony so please stay tuned for further updates as they won't be long in coming and we can see where our fine city ranked amongst these other great cities for these Olympic games! In the mean time please feel free to socialise amongst yourselves. If you would like to meet your Olympians, please form an orderly queue at each side of the stage respectively and you can pass on your best in person." Cuboyd announced before seeing the crowd split like the Red Sea, they wanted to pay tribute in their own ways, and as well they should. What a city this truly is.