Kuku is dead: Long Live Kukuism (Request for Funds)

Kuku is dead. Kuku remains dead. And we have killed him. Yet Kukuism still looms. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was cleverest and humblest of all that the world has yet owned has ceased to write under our guns; who will wipe this blood off us? What street speeches is there for us to clean ourselves?

Kuku won't be coming back, that's for sure.  I am my own man, Ronnie Van Zant.  I sing, beat people up, and believe in gun control.  But what I have noticed is that we can have Kukuism without Kuku.  My recent eulogy on Luis was in the finest traditions of Kukuism, but without crossing a line into rudeness, or death inducing offence.

So this is what I plan to do.  Bring Kukuism to the masses, without being Kuku.

I have some challenges, of course.  The first is financial.  I don't have any money.  And this is where YOU come in.  I have some financial backers who have said they will match any donations that I receive.  So what I need YOU to do is to tip this speech.  I'll then receive a match donation.  And then I will give YOU your donation back!  Clever, isn't it?

Your money will be well spent.  I'm already considering how to run a writing competition without all the nonsense that Kuku brought to his.  I am going to ask O*****Q***n to ask as honorary president.  So I'll need some coin for that.  

Remember, I am not Kuku.  I'm just going to bring some positive elements of Kukuism to the Streets.  So send me money.  I'll send you it back.  I'll even give you an intergenerational IOU.  Yes, that's right.  

You can't lose by investing in bringing Kukuism to the Streets.

Send me money, please.

I'm still struggling people, so please send me funds so that I can feel like a big man, and win the lottery

Epiphany yawns

you wouldn’t be a big man if you won a thousand lotteries. You are only a big man when your cronies and lackeys are around to do your bidding. But I do find pleasure in seeing you out here, hat in hand, pleading for money like a common beggar. Not very becoming of a “Leader of the Streets” now is it?

Epiphany runs away as to not have to listen to any nonsense replies from the little man

I just won the lottery, LuncheonEpiphany.

I am happy and I deserved it.  A lot.

Does the big man want to take a big bet? 1hr starts now 

If you loan me half the stake, Dynamite-

Nah, I only do all or none for this business. Dynamite maintains his stance.

Could be an opportunity for you do increase your holdings with cash that has no strings tied. Maybe try your luck a second time?

Dynamite- my terms are fair and are non-negotiable